Past and Present
by Phoenixhp5
Summary: Takes place during the Cullens absence in New Moon. Deals with the consequences their hasty departure has had on the family along with Alice discovering her past and how she deals with that. WARNING: Contains disciplinary spanking, so don't read if this bothers you
1. Chapter 1

**Past and Present**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Twilight

**Warning: **This story will contain _**DISCIPLINARY SPANKING **_of a teenage vampire, so if that offends you then _**DO NOT READ OR FLAME!**_

**A/N:** Hello again to all you lovely readers! It's been so long, haha! So sorry this story took me so long, but it just wouldn't stop changing on me. I really only intended for this story to focus on Alice and how she deals with her past, but two other Cullens weren't too keen with that. It'll start out with Alice as the focus before shifting to our favorite cowboy, then dear Daddy C for a moment, and then back to Jasper dearest. Those two blonde hunks just don't know how to share the limelight. Oh well, I really hope you enjoy this guys!

This takes place during _New Moon _when the Cullens are away from Forks. I can't for the life of me remember where they went, so I'm putting them in Anchorage, Alaska. Also, I will be getting into Alice's past. I will be using Stephanie Meyer's version, but unlike in the book Alice will find out all her tragic history.

**Chapter 1: The Build Up**

**Alice's POV:**

High school. Hmph. It should be called purgatory...or hell. Why did I sentence myself to this? I should've just gone the college route like Jasper. Sigh.

Why was I here again? What in the name of all that was good and holy in this world make me think that coming to high school, and coming _alone_ would be such a brilliant idea?

I racked my mind for a plausible reason as I changed into my dreaded PE clothes. Whoever decided fluorescent orange t-shirts with shockingly unattractive turquoise sweats was a good idea needed to have their head checked.

I grimaced at that thought. Head checked. Crazy…

Don't think about that!

But that was the reason I did this though, wasn't it? That was the reason I put myself through this mindless monotony day after day. That was the reason I endured the torture of two-bit wenches like _Cassie_, I thought vilely as I subtly glared at the girl from across the locker room.

I changed quickly, so quickly I was already heading towards the doors of the locker room before most people had even gotten their lockers opened. As I passed by Cassie and her loyal dog Marian I couldn't help but overhear as Cassie whispered to her friend, "There goes the little freak. God, she is so damn weird!" Marian giggled her agreement, and I just gritted my teeth, exiting the locker room as though I hadn't heard them; because of course, no human would have. Just my damned luck that I was a vampire with stupid supersonic hearing who couldn't do anything against horrid bimbos because a certain stubborn, old vampire doctor wouldn't understand! So damned unfair!

The door slammed so loudly behind me that I heard several shrieks from the girls, two of them being Cassie and Marian. I smirked.

Making the short trek into the gym I let out a sigh before going and sitting on the benches. As I sat, my mind unwittingly began to go to unpleasant places. It seemed that was all my mind was able to focus on anymore. The bad. The depressing. The regret.

Bella, I thought painfully. Oh how I missed you, Bella. How I wished we had never left you or Forks. How I wished my stupid brother would just wise up and go back to you.

He would go back, I reassured myself. I still saw the vision of Bella as a vampire. It was still clear as day despite my idiotic brother's attempts to keep her 'safe'.

I hope you hang in there, little sis, I thought caringly. We all love you and we will return, you'll see. I know it hurts, I've caught small glimpses of your pain, but you will endure and you will be happy someday. Edward will come back to you and so will we, I promise you.

I pushed Bella out of my mind, the thought of her causing me too much pain. I knew she was hurting even without my visions. How could she not? I had seen how much she loved not only Edward, but each and every one of us; and we had completely abandoned her. We had left her alone to fend for herself. My little sister, who invited danger at every turn was all alone while I sat here readying myself to play nicely with the other children.

I grinded my teeth tightly, holding down a hiss. This was all Edward's fault. And Dad's! Edward was being stupid and over reactive, but at least he had somewhat of an excuse. This was his first time in love, and it happened to be with a human whose blood sang to him. Also, despite all his years Edward was still a 17 year old boy who tended quite often to act as all teenagers did, without thought.

What was Dad's excuse? Why in the hell did he agree to leave Forks? He knows…He _knows_ that Bella is Edward's mate! He knows that Edward will never be able to stay away from her. So why leave? Why not just let lover boy do his noble thing and leave? Why take all of us? I thought he loved Bella like a daughter, but this sure didn't seem like it! Didn't he realize what this would do to Bella? A couple is two people, _two! _So if Edward is suffering, wouldn't it be safe to assume that Bella is suffering as well?

And at least Edward had all of us, despite his decision to abandon us all to go play the hero. Who did Bella have? Who could she turn to for comfort? Nobody, that's who! She had no one who could truly understand what she went through. Bella was alone and Carlisle had allowed this to happen! Some dad, I thought viciously.

I felt a twinge of guilt at my thoughts, but roughly pushed them away.

I had a right to be angry! Dads shouldn't abandon their kids. They shouldn't leave them alone.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. A cold, unsettling feeling entered my chest, and it suddenly felt hollow.

I wished Jasper was—No, it was best that he was at college. If he were here he would just be worrying himself to death, especially since I didn't plan on telling him what was bothering me. He was the reason I chose to isolate myself to this hell hole. I couldn't stand his worried looks and concerned words. I couldn't stand causing him pain. I didn't want to talk about it. He wouldn't understand.

I wished Emmett and Rosalie hadn't left. If they were here I wouldn't feel so horrible. They'd give me my space, and I would no longer be alone. Our family wouldn't feel so broken.

Anger built up in me at this thought, and I suddenly found myself feeling quite resentful towards them as well. Why did they have to leave? We're their family! They should be here when we need them the most! But like Edward, they abandoned us at the first sign of trouble. Who does that?

I seethed silently, cursing Edward, Emmett, Rosalie, and Carlisle for the situation I was in.

I noticed children beginning to arrive in droves, and I stood up. No need for them to see me in such a vulnerable state. It didn't take much longer for Ms. Stevenson to come out and order us all to line up for warm ups. I sighed heavily, once more questioning my decision to come to high school.

So I came to just escape Jasper's incessant nagging? Yes, and the droll drivel would give me plenty of time to sort through my thoughts…

How's that been working?

Um…not too well. Avoidance seems to be the name of the game.

What are you avoiding?

"Cullen!" I heard Ms. Stevenson call, and I blinked a few times before staring at her, noticing right away that I was the only one not in the push up position. Oops. "Quit day dreaming Ms. Cullen, and get on the ground like the rest of your classmates or I'll have you doing pushups the rest of class."

"Sorry Ms. Stevenson," I replied before doing as told. I heard the snickers of several of the kids, Cassie's the most notable.

"Jeez, she's so damn loopy," Cassie muttered, and I flinched. There were several muffled laughs from those near her, but Ms. Stevenson had not heard. I closed my eyes briefly and inhaled a deep breath. Calm Alice, calm, I told myself. Don't let that little twat get to you. Her comments mean nothing. They cannot hurt you.

But they do! Oh my god, but they really do hurt.

My breathing became a little more unsteady, which went unnoticed as most everyone was out of breath by the end of our warm up. Ms. Stevenson began splitting us up into teams at this point, and I barely refrained from yelling when I ended up on Cassie's team. She gave me a mean look before chatting up the boys on our team. I glumly followed them all when we headed towards the farthest end of the courts. We were playing volleyball, and I almost walked out of the gym when I saw Marian, Cassie's best friend on the other team. The two girls immediately rushed to each other and began talking as the boys began to play. I stood at a far corner, pretending to be waiting for the ball to come my way; however, I had no real intent on actually playing. My mind was too focused on more important matters than this ridiculous game.

'Loopy' she'd called me. She had no idea. According to my medical papers I had been—was—no, had been certifiably insane. Wonder what they'd say to that, I thought darkly.

Insane. Me. My stomach clenched tightly, my thoughts unfortunately turning in a direction I had managed to avoid for weeks.

My siblings had often joked about how crazy I was. They had no idea how true they were.

Sigh.

Why did I go? Why did I feel the need to search into my past? I had obviously lost my memories for a reason, so why couldn't I just let them stay lost? _Why?_

Because I wanted to have a past like everybody else in the family. I wanted to know who I was and where I came from. I wanted an identity! I knew when I started the search that I might not like what I found, but…All my family had trauma in their pasts. They had all suffered, but they had also persevered. They were wiser and stronger because of what they had endured and conquered. They could all look back on their memories as a point of reference, but what about me? They remembered what it felt like to be human, and what it _meant_ to be human. What about me though?

The few times I'd mentioned missing my memories, my family had commented off-handedly that I was lucky to not remember. They all mentioned that I probably didn't want to remember. I hadn't been able to understand that, so when I'd been given my first clue, courtesy of James I grasped onto it like a life line.

James had said I'd been in an asylum and that a vampire doctor had changed me out of pity. I hadn't really known what to think when I'd seen that video and heard those words.

So I was crazy, I had remembered thinking. No one had allowed me to think that though. The family had all assured me that I'd probably had visions as a human, and because people misunderstood my gift I had been put in a hospital. I remembered wondering what my human family had thought before deciding that I must not have had a family. Surely they wouldn't have allowed me to be taken away if they had been alive.

Due to all the drama with James and Bella I had put this little tidbit in the back of my mind. I had spent the summer getting to know my new sister and just enjoying spending time with my family. However, after we had left and come to Alaska, the urge to learn about my past came back stronger than ever. I couldn't stand being around my depressed brother. I couldn't stand being around Dad when I was so angry at his decision, and I couldn't stand being around Rosalie who acted as though we were all ridiculous to be so upset. She said us leaving Bella was the best decision for all of us. I had nearly attacked her, and it was only Jasper's tight hold and calming influence that had kept me from wiping that self righteous look off her face.

Jasper of course had decided to join me. We had informed our parents, who were unhappy at our departure but also understanding. Dad had been real reluctant to let us go, but I hadn't cared…

_…"Alice," Dad spoke, "are you sure this is what you want?"_

_ "Of course it is!" I responded hotly. "Why wouldn't I want to know about my past?"_

_ Carlisle had his arms crossed and he stroked his chin as he pierced me with his gaze. He looked conflicted, and I realized what was happening._

_ "You don't want me to go?" I gasped out in shock, and he grimaced before disagreeing._

_ "It's not that I don't want you to know your past, it's just that I don't believe you are quite ready," he stated, but I didn't understand what he was getting at._

_ "What do you mean?" I demanded._

_ "I mean that you might not be prepared to handle what you find out. Angel, listen, you were in an asylum and I know what those were like"—_

_ I cut him off at this point, not wanting to hear his concerns. I felt angry that he was trying to keep me from going. Didn't he understand how much I wanted this? Didn't he understand how much I _needed_ this? Of course he didn't! He had a past. He had his memories. He thought, like always that he knew best. Well, no siree, I wasn't going to allow the great Carlisle Cullen to stop me from doing this._

_ "Look Dad," I stated in forced calm, "I'm going to do this. I can't stand not knowing, and if I don't go I will always be left wondering. Maybe I won't like what I find, but I'll deal with it if that happens. Besides, I'm not going to be alone. Jasper is coming with me."_

_ Dad stared at me with an unreadable look for several minutes before he let out a small sigh, running a hand through my short hair as he nodded. "Good luck Alice, and I hope you find what you are looking for. Please don't hesitate to call for any reason. Your mother and I will always be here for you."_

_ My anger diminished a good amount at his genuine concern, and I wrapped my arms around him…_

…Dad had been right, of course. I hadn't been prepared for what I found out. I hadn't been prepared at all.

I shuddered and absentmindedly rubbed a hand up and down my left arm.

I thought I'd known the worst going in. I thought it couldn't get any worse than having been institutionalized…but I was wrong, _so very wrong_…

…_My search began and Jasper and I were quickly led to Biloxi, Mississippi. There was no asylum or former asylum in the town so we went to the local library and searched through old newspapers and records on microfilm for any kind of clue about my human life. The first shock came when I found an article mentioning my death. It stated simply that I had apparently died in June of 1920 from Typhoid. I was completely bewildered by that, but then I noticed that the article mentioned me being survived by my father, stepmother and younger sister, Cynthia. I felt some excitement at the thought of having had a family, but I was mostly confused by my supposed death. James had said I had been institutionalized, but here it said I had died…1920 was the year I was changed though, so if I had been put in an asylum that would've been during the same year...or would it? I didn't understand._

_ Jasper looked quite upset as he read about my death, and I could see him thinking hard, but when I asked him what he thought of all this he said nothing. He gave me a reassuring grin, telling me that we'd figure this mystery out. Looking through more microfilm we found my parent's marriage certificate and my little sister's marriage certificate. I found an article concerning my mother's death afterwards, and I noted that she died shortly before my supposed death. It didn't state how she'd died though…I then became completely elated when I found a recent article concerning my little sister's daughter, my niece, Mary. She was still alive! It mentioned that she was a well renowned historian who had sought to preserve old landmarks in Biloxi and the surrounding areas and that she had opened a museum here concerning the town's history. I wanted to go see her right away, but Jasper convinced me that it might not be a good idea._

_ "It might be painful for ya Ali," he spoke softly. "Yer not gonna be able to talk to her so why put yourself through the temptation? Let's just continue trying to find out what happened to ya."_

_"It's not like she'll recognize me though," I argued. "She doesn't know me at all, and I could just say"—_

_ "Aww darling', ya know better than that," my southern man drawled as he wrapped his arms around my waist. "Ya really think there ain't any pictures of ya? And even if there weren't, it'd be mighty fishy that some gal shows up wanting ta know about some lady she ain't never mets family history. I'm sorry, but it ain't a good idea."_

_I didn't want to agree, but what he said made sense. I would want to talk to her, and that obviously would be a really bad idea. Giving a miserable sigh, I nodded my head in agreement._

_ It took much longer than I wanted, but we eventually discovered the existence of Haddonfield Asylum, and it was only a county away from here. If I really had been in an asylum then that is where I would've been sent… most likely. I really hoped James had lied, but how else would he have known me, and why tell such a lie?_

_We reached the asylum in no time flat. It was no longer in operation and looked as if it had been abandoned long ago. Staring up at the decrepit building I felt a wave of fear, abandonment, and misery hit me. I received no memories, but I somehow knew with the utmost certainty that I'd been here before. _

"_Are you alrigh' Alice?" Jasper asked concernedly as he wrapped an arm around me. Using his gift he soothed away these negative feelings._

"_Yeah," I murmured unconvincingly._

"_D'ya wanna go inside?" he then asked, and I shuddered before shaking my head negatively._

"_No, I don't," I answered, leaning into my husband. "I've been here before Jazz, I know it. We have to find out where the records for this place are." Jasper's gaze remained concerned as he nodded his head at me. He looked at the building in front of us and I saw sadness in his eyes._

"_I don't like the thought of ya havin' ever been in a place like this," he remarked distastefully. "I can feel pain and hopelessness just lookin' at it, and I can't help but feel ya would not have led a happy existence here."_

_I couldn't help but agree, but I said nothing as I led Jasper away. We headed to the local historical society and under the pretense of doing school research (along with good old vampire charm) we were directed towards a dark corner of the basement where there were boxes and boxes of old asylum records. Groans escaped both me and Jazz before we began the arduous task of searching through all the papers._

_We'd gone through a few boxes and although we'd found nothing confirming my attendance we were nonetheless disturbed by the reports regarding 'treatment' of patients. Lobotomies, electroshock treatment, teeth pulling, sterilization, isolation, and so on and so forth. It was all very barbaric, and I began to have the beginnings of doubt stir in me._

"_Alice," Jasper hesitantly called two hours after we had begun our search, "Are ya sure ya wanna keep looking, love?"_

_I looked over at him, and he stared straight back at me, genuine worry on his face. "I know how important this all is t'ya darlin', but I don't wanna see ya get hurt, and from what I've gleaned from these papers, well...," he trailed off. "When we started our search ya were sure ya were an orphan because ya didn't feel yer family woulda ever put you in a hospital, but now we know ya did have a family…," he trailed off, pursing his lips as though afraid to continue. _

_I bit my lip, having already realized that. I'd pushed that disturbing realization to the back of my mind, but now that he brought it up I couldn't help but feel confused and hurt. Why had my family put me here? Had I really been crazy? Had it even been them? Maybe I had been taken away?_

_Jasper watched me closely as I processed all this. I could tell he wanted me to give up this endeavor. He was disturbed enough already by what had been discovered, and so was I, but I just couldn't stop. "Jazz, I have to continue looking. I can't have come this far only to just stop and go home empty handed. I want answers, can't you understand that?" I questioned, a slight pleading note in my voice._

"_Course I can," he replied softly, coming over and sitting by me. "As long as yer sure, I'll be here with ya every step of the way. I can tell yer hopin' for some kind of happy ending to all this though, and I just want you to know that there ain't gonna be one, baby doll."_

_I glared angrily at him, not at all happy with what he was saying. "You sound just like Dad," I told him through gritted teeth, and his face immediately turned frustrated before turning apologetic._

"_I'm sorry Alice," he stated, taking my hands in this. "I'm just really worried about ya, and I don't want ya to be hurt. I'm only tryin' ta be realistic," he attempted to explain but I was having none of it._

"_Listen well Jasper Lee," I declared, poking him in the chest, "I'm going to keep searching until I find out every last detail of my life. None of you understand what it's like not to have a past. You all think I'm lucky, but I'm not! I don't care how painful or horrible this past is, I'm going to dig it up and you can help me or leave!"_

_Jasper's eyes widened as he let go of my hands. A plethora of emotions passed over his face, but he said nothing to me. He let out a sad sigh before turning back towards a stack of boxes in the opposite corner from me. I could feel his hurt, and I felt guilty for having snapped at him, but I also felt I was justified. He was trying to stop me, and I wasn't going to stand for it. I didn't need his overprotectiveness to get in the way._

_There was a part of me warning me that perhaps Jasper and Carlisle's concerns were worth listening to, but I refused to listen. Feeling renewed vigor, I attacked the boxes in search of my past. Another hour passed before I struck gold. I found admittance papers for June 1920 and the first folder was marked Mary Alice Brandon. Hmmm, that's the same month as my death. Why is that?_

_My second thought: Mary? My first name is Mary? No wonder I only remembered Alice I thought in mild amusement. Jasper looked over at me, no doubt having felt my sudden humor and excitement. _

"_Did ya find something?" he asked, and I nodded my head. He was next to me in less than a second, running his scarred hand over my name. "I didn't know yer first name was Mary," he commented softly._

"_Neither did I," I said with a shrug. "I only remembered the name Alice Brandon when I woke to this life. I guess I must've preferred to be called Alice even as a human." Jasper absentmindedly nodded, commenting on the fact that my admittance date was the same as my death date. I told him I'd already noticed this before he then motioned for me to open the folder._

_I felt nervous energy flutter through me. Here goes nothing…_

… "Hey! Cullen! Freak girl!" I heard Cassie shriek and I immediately zeroed my gaze on her. I _really_ didn't like being called a freak.

"What?!" I snapped angrily, noting that everyone was staring at me.

"It's your turn to serve. You think you can manage, or is that too complicated for your addled brain?" Cassie questioned with a smirk. I heard several laughs as I took the volleyball being held out for me. I glared at Cassie, and imagined myself throwing the ball at her inflated head. She wouldn't be smirking after that, I thought snidely.

"Hit the damn ball!" a boy screamed at me, and I did just that, accidentally hitting the ball too hard and sending it whizzing right by Cassie's brainless head and through the net. Shocked looks were sent my way. Oops, I thought guiltily. The guilt only intensified when the boy who went to retrieve the ball came back with a flat piece of rubber, sporting a bewildered expression.

Oh no, I thought glumly, I flattened the ball. How am I going to explain this? They won't think that's too weird, will they? I mean, this could have happened to anyone, right?

"There must have been something wrong with the ball," I commented offhandedly, shrugging as though this wasn't a big deal.

"And the net…," somebody muttered disbelievingly, and I just shrugged again, giving them all looks as though I couldn't understand why they were making such a fuss.

The boy holding the ball, Chris, stared at me for a few seconds before he just shook his head. "Weird," he muttered, but he said nothing more as he went to get another ball. I turned towards the rest of my classmates to see the shocked looks slowly disappearing. From their mutters I gathered they all felt that there had to have already been a hole in the ball, and that I couldn't possibly have popped it.. They also seemed to disregard how I'd ripped the net, dismissing it as some weird fluke or cheap materials. I relaxed when I realized I hadn't done anything too odd.

Chris returned quickly and the game was just resuming when I noticed an angry Cassie storming towards me. What now, I thought grimly.

"You tried to hit me with that ball, didn't you, Cullen?" she demanded angrily, and I couldn't help but smirk softly.

"Of course I didn't," I replied innocently. "Why would I want to do that?"

"Because you're a bi*ch whose jealous of me!" she snapped. I laughed out loud at the ridiculousness of her statement.

"Please, you have nothing worth being jealous over," I told her in amusement, noting with an inaudible groan as Marian came over to defend her friend.

"Don't deny it," Marian sneered, giving me a look of disgust that caused me to bristle. Cassie smiled at her before adding, "You're a total freak Cullen, you must know that. You have no friends whatsoever, and who would want to befriend you? I mean it's clear that you're just not all there seeing how often you just space out."

"_Shut up_," I spoke through gritted teeth, sudden fury coursing through me. "I am not a freak, and I am _not_ crazy. And if having friends means being nice with people like you, then no thanks, I'd rather be alone." How dare this vile girl say that to me. How dare she call _me_ crazy! She knew nothing, absolutely _nothing _about me!

"Struck a chord, have we?" Marian responded, her and Cassie's eyes lighting up with malicious intent as they both shared a laugh.

"So I heard you're a foster kid, _Alice_," Cassie spat, saying my name as though it were some kind of curse word. I remained silent, giving her a stony look. "Your birth parents obviously didn't want you, and who can blame them. Who would want a _crazy freak_ for a daughter anyways?"

She and Marian began to laugh once more, and I began to shake from sheer anger. My fists were clenched tightly and my mouth clenched tightly shut. I gave both of them a dangerous glare, but only Marian seemed to notice for the amusement began to leave her face, her heartbeat picking up in pace.

"_Stop talking now_," I managed to choke out, but Cassie completely ignored my words. She looked right at me, and while I could tell I had made her nervous, she obviously had no sense of self preservation for she only glared right back at me. Marian on the other hand was now trying to get her friend to shut up for she subconsciously recognized the danger they were in.

"Look at you!" she shrieked jubilantly. "I'm right, aren't I?" she laughed. "Your family did get rid of you, and I bet it's only a matter of time before your foster family reacts the same way." Her words, spoken so carelessly tore through me more than she could ever know. My human family had abandoned me, and that thought hurt me terribly.

"Maybe you can have your doctor daddy take a look at your head while you're at it, too," Cassie continued, obviously enjoying the state she was putting me in. "I'm sure he could give you some drugs that might be able to help you, or maybe he can get you into a special hospital for peo"—but she didn't get to finish her sentence because I snapped, loudly yelling out "_SHUT UP_!" before slapping her across the face.

"Ah!" she screamed out in pain, falling to the floor from the force of the blow. With great effort I managed to hold back a ferocious growl as I glared down at her quivering form. There were tears falling down her face as she clutched the side of her face. Already I could see the beginnings of a bruise forming, and I felt great satisfaction.

"YOU CRAZY FREAK!" she roared angrily as Marian helped her to her feet. By this time we had the entire gym's attention, but I didn't care because the next words out of this witless girl's mouth made me see red.

"You belong in a mad house! You're nothing but a freak, not fit to be amongst us _normal _people!" she snapped cruelly, and I could not stop the growl that escaped my lips as I once more raised my hand and gave the girl another vicious slap to the face. I froze momentarily when I heard a loud crack, only to immediately relax upon hearing the loud wail of pain. If she could still scream then she was still alive, I thought emotionlessly. The stupid girl was on the floor again, clutching her jaw, a look of agony on her face as she sobbed. I could tell it was broken, but I felt absolutely no remorse as I watched her.

There was screaming and yelling at this point, and Ms. Stevenson appeared, staring between Cassie and I with a look of utter shock on her face.

"What happened?" she demanded sharply as she tried to assess Cassie's wounds.

"This is Cullen's fault!" Marian shrieked, pointing an accusing finger at me. Tears were streaming down her face as she tried to soothe her friend. "She attacked Cassie for no reason, I saw the whole thing!"

Some of the other kids began to speak up, corroborating Marian's story and throwing me dark looks. I returned them full force, smirking when I saw all of them look away from me.

Ms. Stevenson looked at me with disappointment and incredulity. "Is this true, Alice?" she questioned, and I just gave a single nod, crossing my arms over my chest as I gave her an indifferent look. I saw anger flash across the teacher's face at my lack of remorse.

"Marian and Sheryl, please escort Cassie to the nurse's office," she ordered, murmuring some soothing words to that useless cow as she continued to sob. The three girls began to make their way as Ms. Stevenson turned toward me. Her expression was very severe as she sternly said, "You and I are going to pay the principal a visit, Ms. Cullen."

I said nothing before just turning and making my way towards the office. I didn't care what she or anyone else thought. I didn't give a damn about being in trouble. Cassie deserved everything she got and more.

Dad and Mom are not going to be happy though, I suddenly thought, and I searched my future, grimacing as I saw the bewildered and disappointed reactions of my parents upon receiving the call from my school. My stomach churned nervously as I knew without visions what punishment would be awaiting me once I arrived home. Fighting in anger was expressly forbidden in this family, and the consequences of breaking that rule were a nice long trip over Carlisle's lap. I bit my lip before convincing myself that I didn't care about that. I wasn't sorry, and I wasn't going to pretend to be either. If Dad wanted to spank me, then so be it, but I wouldn't apologize!

**A/N:** So Alice has gone over the deep end, hasn't she? The stress of what she's discovered about her past, her anger at Edward and Carlisle for leaving Bella, and the bullying by Cassie just became too much for our normally perky pixie. It'll be a while before this anger leaves though, so prepare for some mighty tantrums in the future.

I've finished the entire story and plan to update once a day. There are a total of 12 chapters.

PLEASE REVIEW!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Twilight

**Warning: **This story contains **disciplinary spanking **so don't bother reading or flaming if this bugs you.

**A/N: **Haven't read any reviews, so not really sure what you guys think of the story yet, but I hope you're enjoying it! Sorry for the late post! ENJOY!

To all you who just fave or follow my story, don't be strangers you guys! Review please!

**Chapter 2: Rising Tide**

**Carlisle's POV:**

"That was _amazing_," Esme declared, letting out a contented sigh.

I smirked as I stared down at her exquisite body. "Well, I am pretty amazing, aren't I?"

My gorgeous wife raised an amused eyebrow at me, grabbing the back of my head and pulling me in for a kiss. "You are hilarious," she murmured with a roll of her eyes when we broke apart.

"Not to mention charming, intelligent, and dashingly handsome," I added with a proud smile, and Esme let out a loud laugh.

"And don't forget modest too," she stated sarcastically, and I nodded my head agreement as I said, "Of course."

"You are incorrigible," she stated with a fond shake of her head.

"And you love me for it," I quipped, nuzzling my face against hers.

"I am so glad you got the day off, Carlisle," she remarked happily, giving me a beautiful smile. "We needed this."

"Desperately," I stated with a serious nod, and my wife laughed once more as she played with the hair at the nape of my neck. I began to place light kisses on her face, starting at her forehead and running down along her jaw line. She moaned softly, gripping a fistful of my hair and I began to nibble lightly on her lower lip.

"Eager, are we?" Esme managed to say before I captured her lips with mine. I gave a very low growl of pleasure. "Practice makes perfect and you know how much I love to strive for perfection," I spoke a bit hoarsely.

This time it was Esme smirking at me as she responded, "Then by all means doctor, practice away." And with that I graced my wife with a roguish grin.

We were in the beginnings of what would have been some mind-blowing sex when our bliss was shattered by the shrill ringing of our bedside telephone. I froze, throwing the offending object an extremely irked off glare. I was raising my hand to crush the blasted creation when Esme stopped me, throwing me a scolding look.

"Stop, Carlisle, what if it's important," she stated, moving away from me and towards the wretched piece of human technology. Important? I highly doubted it. If it was anyone_ important_ they would have called our cell phones.

"New rule in our next house," I grumbled as my wife was about to pick up the cursed thing, "no telephones allowed in the bedroom...or anywhere in the house for that matter."

Esme gave me a smile, her eyes alight with amusement. "I second that," she stated mischievously causing me to give her wide grin. Add one more reason to the enormous list of why I loved my wife.

"Cullen Residence, Esme speaking," my beloved answered, and I decided to make the most of the situation by wrapping my arms around her waist from behind. I was lightly trailing my fingers up her thigh when I heard a woman on the other side say, "Hello, this is Principal White from Fuller High School and I am calling because your daughter, Alice was involved in an incident at the school today.

I immediately tensed, feeling my wife do the same. As I released my hold on Esme I heard as she calmly asked, "What sort of incident? Is she alright?"

"She's fine yes, but…" There was a slight pause, and I had a feeling the principal was hesitant to say. Esme and I exchanged worried glances. What could _Alice_ have gotten into? Out of all my children she was the only one who had _never_ gotten into any trouble at school. What could have happened?

"Well, frankly there is no nice way to put this so I will just come out and say it. Alice assaulted another student and seriously injured her. Witnesses say it was an unprovoked attack, and upon speaking with your daughter"—

"She deserved everything she got and more!" I heard Alice shout in the background, and my concern increased ten-fold. What in the world? Alice fighting? Seriously injured? How injured? And why in god's name was she not sorry?

"Ms. Cullen," the principal scolded, "please keep your voice down"—

"NO!" Alice yelled angrily, and my concern quickly turned to anger at how disrespectful my daughter was behaving. "I will not quiet down! You're making it seem like that slut is innocent, but she is anything but!"

"Ms. Cullen, control yourself at once!" the principal chided more sharply. "You had your chance to"—

"No, _you_ control _yourself_!" Alice snapped back, and I had heard enough. It seemed Esme had as well for she promptly said, "Principal White, please give the phone to my daughter and I'll see if I can get her to calm down."

"With pleasure," Principal White responded irritably, and I heard as she handed the phone to my angry child.

"What?" she answered moodily, and I could see from Esme's expression that she was as displeased with Alice's behavior as I was.

"Mary Alice Cullen," Esme spoke smoothly, anger and disappointment quite clear, "You will drop this attitude and bring yourself under control _this instant_, do you understand me?"

"Hmph!" was the response we received, and I stared at the phone in bewilderment. Why was Alice acting like this? She was _never_ this disrespectful. What could have put her in such a state?

"Young lady," I added quite sternly, "I don't know where this attitude is coming from, but you had better listen to your mother and watch what you say. I have a feeling you are in enough trouble as it is, so do you really want to be adding disrespect and defiance to your list?"

There was a moment of silence before Alice let out a strained sigh. "Fine," she responded emotionlessly before I heard her handing the phone back to the principal.

"Hello?" White greeted.

"Hello, Principal White," Esme spoke, "I am so terribly sorry about what has happened and for how abysmally my daughter is acting. I assume you were calling to have a meeting with us?"

"Yes," the principal replied, still sounding a bit disgruntled. "How soon can you be here?"

"Twenty minutes," my wife responded, and I immediately set about getting ready. I turned the shower on, rinsing myself, Esme joining me not soon afterwards. We were both out and dressed in under five minutes, driving and arriving at the school in another 10 minutes.

My mind raced the entire time trying to understand what could have occurred to have put my normally jubilant daughter in such an irritable state. I frowned, realizing that Alice hadn't been her normal jubilant self for some time now. Ever since she and Jasper had returned from their trip, Alice had not been herself.

When Alice and Jasper had returned home, I knew right away that something was wrong. Jasper had looked concern, but Alice had seemed completely detached. She had informed us of finding out she had a family, and that her niece was still alive. She told us about finding the asylum, how it was shut down and then how she had found old records concerning her admittance to the asylum. She told us her full name, and had grumbled about her first name being Mary. "It's so common and boring," she had complained. And that was all she had told us. She said there wasn't any other information, but I hadn't been so sure I believed her. Jasper had shifted uneasily at her words, looking as though he wanted to speak up, and my angel hadn't been meeting my eyes as she said this. I did not press the matter though as I felt her past was hers to share when she wanted; well, as long as it did not cause her to spiral into depression.

This had been months ago, and while Alice had begun to act like herself, I had a feeling it was just that, an act. There was also a tension between Alice and Jasper that I had never seen before. My soldier always looked stressed and concerned, and when I confronted him about it, he told me he was just concerned about Alice and Edward and Bella, and that he was guilty that his lack of self control had caused all this mess. I had immediately rushed to assure him he was not at fault, but while I felt that Jasper had been feeling guilty I could also not help but feel he had been manipulating the conversation. Why would this have caused tension between him and Alice? I could never see Alice holding what happened against Jasper.

About a month ago I had finally confronted my daughter. I'd seen enough of my children suffer in silence because of their pasts until it became too much for them. I myself had gone through such a moment, and it never ended well. I didn't want my little girl to go through such a moment so I point-blank asked her if she'd told me everything she had discovered. Alice had answered that she had, so I had pushed, letting her know that I was aware that something was bothering her and that I wanted to know. She rebuffed me, saying she was just worried about Edward and Bella. She related to me her many concerns and how she wished we had never left. I had noticed a lot of anger as she confessed all this to me…a lot of anger directed towards me. I kept that to myself though as I listened to all her concerns, and comforted her (attempted to comfort); but I knew there was more. I knew there was something she wasn't telling me, but she wasn't budging, and I didn't yet feel right forcing the issue; so, I had let the girl go, letting her know that both I and her mother were here for her if she ever felt the need to talk.

I hadn't seen much of Alice lately or any of the family for that matter as I had been working very long hours. My children were not the only ones who were stressed and concerned. I too worried about not only Edward and Bella, but every member of this family. Rosalie and Emmett were away from home, and while I knew they could take care of themselves, I always worried about my children when they were away. I had not heard from Edward in a month, and I had no idea where he was or what kind of state he was in. Esme was heartbroken, both at Edward's departure and at our leaving Bella behind. She already saw her as a daughter, and so did I.

I worried for my human daughter, and I wondered how she was doing. I wondered if she was as heartbroken and lost as Edward, or if she was managing to move on. She was human, and I wasn't quite sure if her connection to Edward was as strong as his was to her. I desperately wished that Edward would realize that he could not live without Bella and go back to her. Truthfully, when we had left I had known that we would eventually return. Bella was Edward's mate, and no matter how hard he tried to stay away, sooner or later my son would realize that it was impossible. He had lasted far longer than I had ever anticipated though, and I was truly growing frustrated and angry with him.

I was angry at how he had left our family without telling anyone. We had left Forks so that we could stay together, but I was realizing how big of a mistake that had been. Our family was not together anymore. Rosalie and Emmett were abroad. I practically lived at the hospital. Jasper spent most of his time in college or holed up in his room, Alice spent her time shopping while Esme worked away on one project after another. Our family was suffering greatly, and we were falling apart. I couldn't believe I had allowed us to reach such a state. I was failing my family, so part of the reason I had called off work was because Esme and I desperately needed time to bond and deal with everything that had been happening. We needed to talk, but that had obviously been cut short.

Alice. What could have happened to have pushed her to act so angry and disrespectful? Out of all my kids she was the most easy going, even more so than Emmett. She was also the child that got into the least amount of trouble, her visions no doubt proving a huge help. This is what made what happened today so difficult to understand. Alice was not a violent person. She didn't really have a temper. Her biggest fault was her biggest asset: her visions. She used her visions to get things her way and to manipulate both people and situations. This was the usual reason my little angel found herself nursing a sore bottom; but it didn't happen often. Alice had felt my hand for other reasons as well, such as lying, disobedience, and even once for getting into a rather vicious fight with Rosalie, but what happened today was just not making sense to me.

Why would Alice attack a _human_?! What could this human have done to have enraged her? And why in God's name was Alice not repentant in the least?

Perhaps I was overreacting. Perhaps Alice had still been reeling from whatever triggered the fight and had not been thinking when she had spoken so disrespectfully.

I grimaced internally, somehow doubting it.

My gut was telling me that something was seriously wrong. My gut was telling me that this was connected to Alice's past. I sighed heavily, running a hand through my hair.

If this was related to Alice's past, then what could this human have said to have elicited such a terrible response from my most laid back child? I resisted the urge to sigh again as I somehow knew that this was going to be a _very_ long day.

Esme and I were in the school office at this point, and I could tell right away that the atmosphere was tense. Several women were attempting to console a distraught girl who was holding a bag of ice to a severely swollen jaw. I could tell with one look that it was broken, and a sinking feeling entered the pit of my stomach as I realized this had to have been the girl Alice had attacked.

Bloody hell Alice, you broke the girl's jaw! _Why_?!

Letting go of Esme's hand I quickly made my way over to the group, the doctor in me unable to stand watching this child suffer, especially knowing my own daughter was the cause.

"Excuse me," I interrupted politely, "I am a doctor and I was wondering if I could be of some assistance?" I gave the injured girl a gentle, reassuring smile, and she grudgingly nodded her head, giving me a wary look.

I offered a smile to the women as they backed away so that I could kneel in front of the girl. Gently removing her hands from her face I lightly ran my hands along her jaw, a myriad of emotions passing through me when I realized that her jaw bone was not just broken, but completely shattered. This poor girl would need extensive surgery to fix this.

"What's your name, sweetheart?" I questioned kindly, wondering if she still had the ability to use her jaw. I could see her struggling to answer me, but the pain of her injury was apparently too much, for she let out a choked sob as more tears began to fall down her face.

"Her name is Cassie Thompson, doctor," a woman, probably the school nurse, answered softly, throwing Cassie a sympathetic look.

I turned to the nurse and asked, "Has she been given anything for the pain?"

The woman gave a sad shake of her head before explaining. "All we have is aspirin, but she hasn't been able to open her mouth to take it. Her parents are on their way here, and they will take her to the hospital. I wish there was more we could do, but I'm no doctor, and we don't"—

I cut off her apologies with a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I understand Ms…"

"Ramirez," the nurse answered.

"Well, I understand completely Ms. Ramirez. You have done the best you can, and nothing more can be asked." She returned my reassuring look with a relieved one of her own. I turned back towards Cassie, who was staring up at me with scared eyes. Her jaw was twitching, and I could tell she wanted to speak. "Wha…wron…" was all she managed, but I understood what she wanted to know.

Kneeling once more, I gave her hand a gentle squeeze as I gently told her, "Ms. Thompson, you will need x-rays to verify this, but I feel quite certain when I say your jaw is broken…shattered actually."

Her eyes widened in panic, and I heard her heartbeat begin to race as loud cries began to escape her.

"The poor dear," I heard someone mumble as I sought to comfort the panicking child.

"Shhh Ms. Thom—Cassie, shhhh," I soothed ass I rubbed her shoulder. "There is no need to be afraid, sweetheart, you will be just fine, I promise you. Your parents will take you to the hospital and the doctors will be able to fix this."

"Hur?" she managed to choke out, and I gave her small smile. "No Cassie, it will not hurt. They will give you something for the pain, and may even put you to sleep momentarily while they fix the damage. But you will be just fine, have no fear."

Cassie cried some more, though she nodded her head. I could see the gratitude in her eyes, a gratitude I did not feel deserving of seeing as it was my own daughter who did this to her.

Alice, I thought in severe disappointment, this was unacceptable. I glanced over at Esme to see her sporting a sorrowful look, although I did notice the disappointment in her eyes. We locked eyes, and I could see the same question I had raging in mine: _Why?_

Cassie had begun sobbing once more, and I turned toward the girl to see her clutching the ice pack to her jaw. The pain was apparently too much for her, and I wished desperately that there was something I could do to ease it. I settled instead with just offering my comfort by smoothing back her hair and murmuring soothing words. Ms. Ramirez followed my example, wrapping a caring arm around the girl.

It was not long after this that Mr. and Mrs. Thompson arrived, both looking quite upset. They rushed their daughter, Mrs. Thompson fussing over her injuries as Mr. Thompson looked around the room with anger in his eyes. "Where is Principal Stevenson?" he questioned furiously. "I demand to know what happened!"

I felt guilt at noting the obvious concern these two parents felt for their daughter. _Why Alice?_ Why would you do such a thing?

"Mr. Thompson," I spoke aloud, capturing the angry father's attention. "My name is Dr. Carlisle Cullen (Cassie's loud sobbing stopped momentarily, wide eyes snapping towards me) and this is my wife Esme," I said, motioning for my wife to join me. "I am afraid it was our daughter's actions that have led to this, and I just want to offer my sincerest apologies."

"_Your_ daughter did _this_ to my little girl?" he sputtered, and I gave a grim nod. He looked ready to start shouting when Mrs. Thompson spoke up, tearfully saying, "I don't care who's at fault right now, Jim! I just want to know what's wrong with Cassie. We should be taking her to the hospital, not sitting around here shouting at people!"

Mr. Thompson seemed to deflate at his wife's rebuke. He nodded his head, mumbling, "Of course, Margaret, you're absolutely right."

"Mr. Thompson," I said, ignoring the angry look he gave me, "like I said before, I am a doctor. I checked over your daughter and it seems as though her jaw has been shattered." His face whitened as Mrs. Thompson let out a loud gasp. "She will be just fine," I quickly assured them. "She will probably need to undergo reconstructive surgery"—

"Surgery?!" Mrs. Thompson exclaimed in dismay, wrapping her arms around her daughter protectively as Mr. Thompson glared at me, his fists tightening as though he wanted to hit me.

"Yes, surgery," I continued speaking in a soothing tone. "It is not a difficult surgery, and I promise you she will be just fine. Also, do not concern yourself with costs because I will cover those, and I will also assure she gets the best care"—

I was cut off once again as Mr. Thompson got in my face and snarled, "We don't need your money or your help _Dr._ Cullen! Your family has done enough!" I stared into his furious face with an impassive one, feeling Esme's hand tightening around my own.

"Jim!" Mrs. Thompson shrieked, "Stop it! What happened was not his fault, he's only trying to help! Now please darling, let's just get to the hospital." Mr. Thompson let out a sigh, nodded to his wife and turned away from me without a look or a word. He helped Cassie stand and then both he and his wife left, but not before Mr. Thompson yelled out to the office staff, "That _girl_ who did this better damn well be expelled—no, she better be _arrested_ for what she did to my daughter!"

I bristled at his words, but there was really nothing I could say in my daughter's defense. That man was just angry and looking to protect his child, and I could not fault him. I would've done the same had our positions been reversed.

An awkward silence descended the room, the office staff staring at Esme and me before looking at each other. Esme groaned softly as she leaned her forehead into my shoulder and I wrapped a comforting arm around her. A timid looking secretary approached us at this point, informing us that the principal was waiting for us. We nodded our heads before heading towards the office. We both took in calming breaths, readying ourselves for whatever may come.

**Alice's POV:**

I sat in my chair absolutely seething. I had heard everything that had happened from the moment my _parents_ had walked into the office.

How dare he? How dare my own _father_ comfort that pompous bitch! How dare he call her sweetheart and speak so kindly to her after what she did to me! _How dare he_!

And why on earth would he apologize to that brat's parents? Why would he offer to pay for her surgery? She deserved what she got!

And why didn't Carlisle defend me?! Why didn't he defend me when Mr. Thompson was shouting for my expulsion? What kind of father was he if he wouldn't defend his own daughter?! He'd rather comfort the horrible skank who hurt me than his own daughter!

Tears of anger and hurt welled up in my eyes, blurring my vision. I fought to control my anger, wringing my hands in my lap to keep from breaking the arm rests. I noticed Principal White staring at me with slight concern, obviously having noted my saddened expression. I immediately hardened my face, throwing the interfering woman a glare, which caused her to frown back at me.

There was a knock on the door signaling my parent's arrival, and I took in a breath to prepare myself for whatever may come. I knew I had to keep my temper under control. As enraged as I was I knew that making a scene in front of a human would not solve anything. It would just worsen the spanking I knew I already had coming.

"Come in," White called, and I couldn't help but smirk slightly at the obvious strain in her tone.

Carlisle and Esme walked in, and I kept my gaze on the wall behind White, not wanting to see their expressions. They exchanged pleasantries with the principal before sitting down. I'd made sure to choose the farthest left chair in order to be as far away from White as possible and to insure my parents couldn't sit on either side of me. I could see both of them trying to catch my eye, but I stubbornly stared straight ahead, an impassive look on my face. I didn't need Jasper's ability to sense their anger, disappointment, and bewilderment. I knew they wanted answers, but I wasn't planning on giving them.

Jasper, oh how I wished he was here. I never should've come to this stupid high school! I should've just gone with him to college, then none of this would've happened. I didn't want to be here anymore. I wanted Jasper now. I wanted his comforting, reassuring presence. I wanted his arms to wrap around me and to tell me that everything was okay.

Risking a quick glance towards Carlisle and Esme, I saw both their attentions fixed on Principal White as she informed them of what happened, or at least what she knew. I hadn't told her what Cassie and Marian had said to me. I had only shouted that she deserved what she got.

"As I said before, many of the witnesses screamed that the attack was unprovoked, but I personally find that hard to believe," White explained, throwing me a glance. "I have attempted to extract from Alice what happened, but she has refused to cooperate, only claiming that she is not sorry for what happened."

I made the mistake of looking towards my parents at these words and was met with two angry, disappointed looks. A twinge of guilt sparked in me, and I hastily turned my head away. I was not accustomed to seeing such expressions on their faces, especially directed towards me. I knew my behavior was _slightly_ out of control, and that they were no doubt confused, but I just felt too angry to really care. I knew my butt was toast no matter what happened, so truthfully I couldn't help but think it didn't' matter what else I did or said. I was getting a spanking whether I cooperated or not, so what was the use in pretending I cared about Cassie?

"Alice," Principal White called, and I looked at her with a bored expression. I could see her fighting back a frown as she asked me to give my side of the tale. I promptly looked away after her question, staring at an ugly painting she had on her wall.

"Alice Cullen!" Esme scolded, her tone aghast. "Your principal asked you a question, and I expect you to answer."

"I don't want to," I answered, not even bothering to glance in my mother's direction.

I heard her and Dad's sharp intake of breath at my rudeness.

"Young lady," Mom called again much more sternly, "you will look at me when speaking, and you _will_ explain what happened today."

I fought back my growing irritation as I very reluctantly faced her. Her face was a mask of disapproval, her eyes warning me that I had better do as she said right now. I huffed, crossing my arms as I stared at everyone with angry eyes.

"Cassie and her little lackey Marian have been bullying me since the day I arrived at this pathetic excuse for a school," I began, not making eye contact with anyone. "Today was just the last straw. I was minding my own business, but they wouldn't leave me alone. Cassie said…," I paused, gritting my teeth tightly as I remembered her cruel words. Freak, she had called me. Crazy, she had said. What the hell did she know?

"Cassie said," Mom prompted, and I let out another angry huff before saying, "Cassie said some cruel things and I taught her a lesson."

"You shattered her jaw, Alice!" Father snapped, dark amber eyes flashing to me in outrage.

"She deserved it!" I snapped back.

"Alice, sweetheart," Mom spoke softly, grabbing a hold of my hand, but I ripped it out of her grasp. She gazed at me with increasingly saddening eyes as she asked, "Do you truly feel no remorse for having hurt this girl? She will have to undergo extensive surgery to fix her jaw. This doesn't bother you at all?"

Why did they keep asking this? Why did they keep bringing up this brat, and talking about her in those worried tones like they cared more for her than they did me? Didn't they hear what I said? That whore had been bullying me for months, and I finally decide to defend myself and they're angry? It's only a broken jaw! Not like I maimed or killed her or anything!

"_Why_ do you care so much about this other girl?!" I shrieked out furiously as I stood up. "She's been nothing but hateful and cruel to me since I got here, and all I did was stick up for myself! I'm not sorry at all!"

Dad stood up at this point, mirroring my angry posture. He looked ready to speak, but the principal beat him to it.

"I believe I have heard and seen enough," she declared, her voice full of disapproval. All our attention focused on her and she motioned for Carlisle and I to sit down, and we both did with great reluctance. Dad's eyes were boring into me, but I stubbornly ignored him.

The principal gazed at me and said, "Just to be absolutely clear, Ms. Cullen, you are not sorry for having injured Ms. Thompson so grievously?"

"I'm not," I answered.

She stared at me for several seconds before turning towards my parents with a grave look. "I am very sorry to say this, Dr. and Mrs. Cullen, but due to the severity of this attack and your daughter's obvious lack of remorse, I am expelling her from Fuller High school."

I felt no shock as I had already seen this outcome. In fact, I felt relief as high school had been a literal hell to me these past several months. It would be nice not to have to come back. Glancing towards my parents, I could see that they did not share my feelings. They appeared shocked, and I guess I couldn't blame them. None of my siblings or Jasper had ever been expelled from a school, despite all the trouble they'd caused over the years; and here I was doing just that after my first time.

I was suddenly struck with the bizarre desire to laugh, but knew that would be really inappropriate. A smile did appear on my face, a smile that my thoroughly unamused father caught, and I watched as his eyes darkened even more. The smile was immediately wiped from my face, and while he and my mother attempted to argue for leniency for me I took a little peek into my future. My brow furrowed as my punishment had not been decided on. I knew there would be a spanking, but it seemed my father wanted to decide on how bad it would be and what other punishments to give me until after he'd spoken with me. Ugh.

"I am terribly sorry Dr. and Mrs. Cullen, but my decision is final," Principal White declared, standing up to signal this conversation had come to an end. My parents exchanged a look before they stood up as well. They expressed their sincerest apologies on my behalf (I just rolled my eyes), shook hands before making their way out the door. Dad placed his hand on the back of my neck in quite a firm grip as he led (pushed) me through the office, out of the school and towards the parking lot.

**A/N:** Alice may seem OOC, but I think that the stress of learning about her past (and she has learned more than I've mentioned) coupled with the bullying, worrying over Edward and Bella, and the fighting with Jasper, well, it's all gotten to be too much for our normally happy go lucky pixie.

PLEASE REVIEW!


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** Do not own Twilight or any of its wonderfully, sexy vampires!

**Warning:** This story contains _disciplinary spanking_ so don't bother reading or flaming if this bugs you.

**A/N: **THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS!Alright, things are gonna be pretty tense in this chapter as the chapter suggests. Hope you enjoy!

On a side note, I said there would be 12 chapters, but I meant to say 13.

**Chapter 3: Totally Losing It**

**Esme's POV:**

Disbelief was my most prominent feeling at the moment. I just could not for the life of me figure out why Alice was acting like this. This behavior was so out of character for her. My daughter was _not_ a violent person, not at all! So for her to have attacked a human so viciously and to feel no remorse, it just didn't make sense. And the disrespect! Alice was rarely, and I mean _rarely_ disrespectful with either Carlisle or I, and it usually took only a mild scolding or sharp look for her to immediately simmer down and apologize. What was wrong with my baby?!

I glanced over at my husband's closed off expression. His face may be unreadable, but I knew he was angry and embarrassed over Alice's behavior. His jaw muscles were twitching from the way he was clenching his teeth, no doubt, and his neck and back muscles were tense. His grip on our capricious daughter's neck was firm as he forcefully guided her through the school and out into the parking lot.

My gaze lowered now to Alice, and I noticed the stubborn expression she sported. She kept rolling her shoulders and moving her neck, trying to maneuver out of her father's grasp, but he only tightened his grip as he uttered a stern, "Alice". She stopped her movements, glaring at nothing in particular as we walked the last few feet to the car.

Carlisle opened the back door, let go of Alice and motioned for her to get in. Alice turned around, crossed her arms and glared at Carlisle. He stared at her with a hard look before he placed one hand on top of the car and his other on top of the door, effectively trapping Alice between his arms and the car. Very slowly he then lowered his upper body until his face was level with hers. The tension was thick as they stared into each other's eyes. The staring contest seemed to go on for ages, but it was only thirty seconds before my little seer gave a slight shudder and lowered her eyes. Carlisle maintained his position until she got into the car and buckled her seat belt. At that point he stood up, closed the door with a tad bit more force than necessary, and made his way to the front of the car.

I quickly got into the passenger seat and stared back at my angry teen through the rearview mirror. She looked so upset and there were tears welling up in her eyes as she glared at the back of my husband's head. I reached back a hand to place on her knee, but she jerked her knee away, giving me a glare this time. I withheld a disappointed sigh as I turned back around.

My God, this was getting out of control, I thought wearily as I rubbed a hand over my face. I looked at Carlisle and saw how tightly he was gripping the steering wheel. His eyes were darkening by the second and there was a prominent frown marring his face. I did not like what I was seeing, so I reached over and placed a hand on his thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze. His face softened as he looked over at me, and he covered my hand with one of his own. He took in a few deep breaths then, and immediately I noticed as his eyes lightened up a bit.

We had been driving for only a few minutes when Alice broke the silence.

"What's my punishment going to be? Why won't you make up your mind?" Alice questioned in a whiny voice that put my teeth on edge. I could never stand it when the children whined like five year olds.

"Trust me Alice, you do not want me deciding on a punishment right now," Carlisle answered stiffly.

My daughter huffed before petulantly saying, "Yes, I do! I'm tired of seeing my future being inconclusive. Look, I know I'm getting a spanking, so just make the decision and be done with it."

"Alice Cullen," I scolded disapprovingly, "cut the attitude and"—

"What attitude?" she screeched, throwing her hands up in the air. "I was just saying I wanted"—

"Silence Alice!" my husband interrupted sharply. "You are correct, my _very disrespectful little one_, you are getting a spanking, but I have yet to decide on how hard it is going to be. Right now your future is looking quite dark, so if you would like to brighten it up a bit, I suggest you keep your mouth shut."

"I don't care what you do," Alice snapped back, and I internally groaned at my normally level-headed daughter's stupidity. A low warning growl erupted from my husband as Alice continued to speak. "No matter what you do I won't be sorry for what I did! Cassie can rot in hell for all I care, and I don't give a damn"—

"_Mary Alice Cullen_!" Carlisle interjected harshly, "If you utter one more sound I swear I will pull this car over and give you the whipping you are asking for right here on the side of the road!" My eyes widened at the threat and I noticed as my daughter's mouth snapped shut, her own eyes widening as well. She once more had tears of anger in her eyes, but she stubbornly refused to let them fall as she silently fumed. Carlisle glared at her through the rearview mirror just daring her to test him. Thankfully, Alice seemed to have regained some of her senses for she remained silent the rest of the way home.

We arrived home shortly afterward, and as Carlisle and I got out of the car, I noticed in growing dismay that Alice stayed in the car, her arms crossed as she stared at us in defiance. My husband's face turned angry, and he was stalking over towards her door before I stopped him. I gave him a look that told him to calm down and allow me to deal with this. He very reluctantly gave me a minute nod of agreement before he marched inside the house. I let out a small sigh of relief before opening the door of the car.

Alice's expression was slightly less defiant and more wary as she stared at me. I kneeled down in order to appear less threatening as I gave her a concerned, loving look. I wanted desperately to ask her what was wrong, but I knew that in the state she was in, my question would not be well received. She was too angry to open up, so instead I just said, "Why don't we go on inside, sweetheart." I held out my hand, and after an internal debate she gave a sigh and took a hold of it. Inwardly, I was cheering, but outwardly I just gave a small smile as my daughter stepped out of the car and shut the door.

"You've gotten yourself into quite a mess, Alice," I remarked softly, and although she tried to hide it with an unconcerned shrug, I clearly saw the nervousness in her eyes. She knew she was in hot water with her father, and despite what she had said in the car about not caring about getting spanked, I knew my child well enough to know she felt the complete opposite. As I continued to watch her, I noticed as the anger began to seep out of her to be replaced with sadness, hurt, and fear.

"Oh baby," I could not help but coo lovingly as I pulled her into my arms, "it will be alright," She trembled as she wrapped her arms around me, and I comfortingly rubbed her back.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked her gently, but I immediately regretted the question when she tensed and pulled away from me.

"There's nothing to talk about," she snapped with little heat before making her way inside. I let out a heavy sigh as I shook my head. Why did I get the feeling that this day was going to get a lot worse before it got better?

"I don't want to talk to _you_, so leave me alone!" I heard Alice shout, and I immediately went inside the house to see her glaring at Carlisle. My husband looked momentarily stunned before his expression hardened.

"Go to your room," he ordered, his voice hoarse from the amount of anger he was holding back.

I flicked my eyes to Alice who remained where she was, blatantly disobeying her father's order. I felt my own anger stir at such a display of disrespect, but before I could say anything, Carlisle marched right up to our girl and stared her down. I could see his hands were clenching and unclenching, and I knew he was desperately fighting the urge to spank her. I could not help but feel proud of the amount of control he was exhibiting. I would not have faulted him one bit if he'd decided to warm Alice's backside right here and now, but Carlisle knew his limits, and he knew he was too angry to punish her.

Carlisle said nothing, the look on his face enough to cause Alice's defiant eyes to drop to the floor before she stormed up the stairs and to her bedroom.

There was silence for several minutes as I gave Carlisle the time he needed to calm himself down. I knew it was okay to approach when his shoulders seemed to sag and he lowered his head. I swiftly made my way to him and wrapped my arms around his waist, gazing into his frustrated eyes.

"That girl is out of control," he whispered dishearteningly as he wrapped his own arms around me. I leaned my forehead into his chest as I sadly said, "What has gotten into her, Carlisle? _Why_ is she acting like this?"

Carlisle gently swayed us from side to side, placing a light kiss on my temple before letting out a sigh. "I am fairly certain this has to do with her past and whatever she found out in Biloxi."

I lifted my head, giving him a surprised look before nodding in agreement. Yes, that made perfect sense. My daughter had not been quite right ever since her trip.

"But what could be upsetting her so much?" I questioned aloud. "She told us everything she found out, and it wasn't much." I caught my husband's skeptical look and quickly realized what he was thinking. "You believe she lied to us?"

He gave a single nod. "I do," he answered. "And now that I think about it, I am certain that Jasper knows and is not happy with his mate's decision to keep us in the dark."

I gave a gasp, nodding my own head as I commented, "That would definitely explain the tension I've been seeing between the two." I frowned sadly before then stating, "If this is true, then why didn't Alice confide in us? She has never been one to hold things in, so I don't understand. What could she have found out?" My concern was rapidly building as I wondered what horrors my sweet little daughter could have found that would have pushed her into believing she could not confide in us.

"I have no idea, love," my husband responded, his own voice mirroring my concern. I was glad to see he was no longer angry.

"What are we going to do about this?" I asked him, and he groaned as he buried his head in my hair. I smiled sympathetically as I caressed the back of his head. I knew how much he hated disciplining our children, especially when a physical chastisement was required, as it no doubt would be in this case.

"For starters I'm going to blister her out of control backside," he stated, and I blinked before saying, "For starters? You're not going to talk first?"

Carlisle slowly pulled his head up, giving me a tired look. "If she is willing to have a civil conversation with me, then we will talk first, but if her immature behavior continues, then I will give her a much needed attitude adjustment before we talk."

I frowned, not liking the thought of my little Alice being punished before she even had a chance to explain her side. I told this to my husband, and he furrowed his brow before shaking his head at me.

"You misunderstood me, my love," he explained. "If Alice does not curb her attitude, the spanking she gets would be for the disrespect alone. The spanking she has earned for the fighting and risk of exposure I will not administer until I have heard the full story."

I bit my lip still not happy, but I did not try and change his mind. It did not happen often, but I knew there had been a few occasions over the years where Carlisle had needed to provide an attitude adjustment prior to a punishment spanking when one of our children decided to be particularly obstinate. Alice had never been in need of such an adjustment though. Any of the times she had been spanked Carlisle had told me she had been very compliant, well, apart from the first time, but that was understandable seeing as it had been her first spanking ever. It seemed today was the first of many for my dear little seer, and I wasn't happy about that at all.

"You agree with me that despite not knowing the full story, Alice has earned herself a trip over my knees?" my husband questioned, a slight worry in his eyes and tone as he stared at me.

"I would say she's earned a _long_ trip," I answered with a slight smirk, and my love smiled back, giving me a kiss on the lips. "She broke two of our biggest rules," I added when we parted, wanting him to know that I was well aware of the gravity of what our little one had gotten done. "She got into a fight, and she has made a spectacle of herself in front of the humans, risking exposure."

Carlisle gave a serious nod of agreement, sadness entering his amber eyes. "I do believe I can deal with both issues in one spanking," he mused aloud, "but I will need the full story of what happened first."

I quickly nodded my head in agreement. While I fully agreed the girl was in need of a good hiding, I did not like the idea of her being subjected to two spankings. I knew if Carlisle were only to spank her once, the spanking would be a hard one, but it would be done and over with. Anytime my children endured multiple spankings I could barely withstand watching how nervous and tearful my babies became as they desperately pleaded with me (and they always did) to talk their father out of the second (and even once, third) spanking.

"Esme," Carlisle spoke, and I locked eyes with him. "I am going to need you to keep Jasper away from here while I deal with Alice. I have a feeling things are going to be difficult enough as it is without adding an overprotective soldier into the mix."

I grimaced slightly as I nodded my head. "Do not worry, my dear, I will keep our soldier under control," I assured him with a pat on the cheek. "That boy knows better than to cross his mama."

Carlisle grinned widely, pulling me in for another kiss. "I'm sure he does," he remarked with some amusement. "However," he tacked on more seriously, "you be sure to remind that boy that if he forces your hand, then he will force mine as well."

"Carlisle," I sighed unhappily, "that will not be necessary. I will have everything under control."

"I am sure you will," he responded, "but tell him all the same. That boy loses all sense of reason when he feels his Alice is in danger."

I sighed before giving a small nod of agreement. Yes, Jasper became nearly impossible to deal with every time Alice was in trouble. He had earned himself quite a number of spankings for his overprotectiveness. Granted, he was much better than he used to be as he no longer became angry anytime either Carlisle or I scolded or grounded Alice, but he still hadn't learned to control himself when she was due a spanking.

"Do not concern yourself Carlisle, I wi"—I stopped speaking as a loud crash was heard from upstairs. Carlisle and I exchanged startled looks that turned positively alarmed when we heard a loud scream of rage followed by several more crashes.

Carlisle uttered a small curse before he and I rushed up the stairs and to Alice's room as quickly as we could. When we reached the room both our eyes widened at the sight of a dresser lying in the doorway, the door in pieces. We both stared into the room to find Alice in the midst of a full blown tantrum. The room was an absolute mess. It looked like a tornado had blown through as most of the furniture was in pieces and there was ripped clothing scattered all over.

I looked at my daughter and my heart ached as I saw the tears falling down her face as she continued to let out screams of anger while she ripped up every piece of clothing she owned.

"Alice!" Carlisle called out as we both stepped into the room, "What are you doing?"

Alice turned her eyes towards us, and I could see she was in a lot of emotional distress. The pain though quickly turned to anger when she caught sight of her father. My heart sunk as I knew what that was about, but I thought no further on it a my attention was caught by the chair that was thrown at my husband. He avoided it no problem, but I was suddenly infuriated by my daughter's audacity.

"Mary Alice Cullen, you stop this at once!" I yelled sternly as I flashed on over to my daughter and grabbed a hold of her arm. "You do not"—I began to chide, but I was roughly shoved away, Carlisle catching me before I crashed into her bed. Why is it always me being thrown around, I couldn't help but think tiredly as my husband set me on my feet and assured himself that I was alright.

"Don't call me that!" Alice hissed furiously. "My name is Alice, not _Mary_!" Those words alone clued me in that Carlisle's assumption was right. This did have to do with Alice's past.

"How dare you shove your mother!" Carlisle snapped angrily. "Get this tantrum under control this instant!"

"NO! Now leave me alone!" Alice yelled as she threw a high heel at him, which he dodged before letting out a loud growl.

I opened my mouth to speak again, but Carlisle held up a silencing hand as he motioned for me to move away. He obviously did not want me to be on the receiving end of our out of control daughter. I wanted to snap at the man that I didn't need him to protect me from my own child, but I knew that fighting with Carlisle right now wouldn't help the situation at all, so slightly fuming I moved to the doorway to anxiously watch the disastrous scene unfold in front of me.

"Alice Cullen," Carlisle warned, "if you do not get yourself under control this second I will do it for you little lady and it will not be a pleasant experience."

"Just leave me ALONE!" Alice half roared/half sobbed as she threw another high heel shoe at her father and it took all my self control not to scream out and try to interfere when I saw what happened next. Carlisle let out another fierce growl before making his way towards Alice, who promptly turned around and tried to run towards her balcony.

**Alice's POV:**

I had intended to leap out of through my balcony, but a quick vision of Carlisle catching hold of me caused me to immediately move to the right, barely avoiding his grasp. He was much stronger than me, so I knew if he managed to get a hold of me I would be done for.

"GO AWAY!" I screamed, once more barely avoiding my father's arms through use of my visions. I avoided him several more times, but as I tried to get into the hallway I found my path blocked by Mom. As I was mentally uttering a curse Dad managed to get a hold of me. I screamed and began to buck wildly as I attempted to get him to let me go.

"Alice, sweetheart, _please_ _calm down_!" he gasped out, his tone pleading and full of concern and utter exasperation. There was a small part of me that knew I was maybe a tad bit out of control, but I just felt so darn angry, hurt, and scared. I didn't want to talk to my parents, _especially _Dad!

Tears streamed down my face now. The memories were so sharp. My dad, my own father had _hated _me! Why? _Why_...

_...I opened the folder marked with my name, nervous energy causing me to tremble. What would I find? Right off the bat, the news was bad. Reading my date of entry, I noted it was the same exact date as my supposed death. What's more was that I saw who it was who admitted me…my own father. My own flesh and blood had locked me up. I froze, hurt coursing through me. Why would he have done that? Why would my own father have abandoned me in such a place?_

_ My eyes immediately scanned the papers to find the reason for my imprisonment. What had I done? What could I have done to have pushed my father into doing such a thing? Had I really been crazy? It didn't take long to find. On the second sheet it stated that I was seeing things and claiming to be able to predict the future. It also said the sudden death of my mother had driven me insane and that I had tried to kill my own father because I had blamed him for her death. What?! That couldn't be true! Could it?_

_ I was shaking, my breaths coming out in short gasps as I read this._

_ "Alice," Jasper spoke gently as he tried to take the folder away from me, "I don't think we should read anymore. Ya don't need ta know this. All its doin' is hurtin' ya, so please—"_

_ "Stop it Jasper!" I snapped harshly as I yanked the folder away from him. He gave me a stunned look, but I ignored him as I continued to read through the pages. I read about the treatment I was subjected to. I was given a lot of electroshock therapy, which according to the notes resulted in my memory loss. An outbreak of typhoid was the reason I had short hair. I had been in the asylum for an entire five months before I suddenly disappeared. It was presumed that I escaped, perhaps with the help of a Dr. Troy for this doctor had disappeared the same evening I had. A chill went up my spine as I realized this Dr. Troy must have been the vampire that had turned me…the vampire that James had killed. _

_ I closed the file, and feeling a soothing wave pass over me I looked up at my husband who was gazing at me in concern and sympathy. A part of me appreciated it, but a larger part of me didn't want to deal with his concern right now. I wanted—no, I _needed_ to know more. Why did it say I blamed my father for my mother's death? Had I really been delusional, or had I _seen_ this? _

_ "Alice?" Jasper called out hesitantly, and I looked at him. "Ahm sorry baby, I know this ain't what you wanted ta find out. Ya know none o' this matters, right? It don't change who you are."_

_ I just shook my head before saying, "I'm not done searching Jasper. This can't be all there is. There has to be more information. Maybe my niece Mary knows something, or—or maybe she has some information"—_

_ "Oh, Alice, no," Jasper argued putting his hands on my shoulders. "Let this go darlin', just let this go. Can't ya see how much this is hurtin' ya? Why d'ya wanna know more? Please, let's just go"—_

_ "NO Jasper!" I hissed furiously as I pulled away from him. "God, why can't you understand? Why can't any of you understand how important this is to me?! I just read that my own father put me in that damned hospital and that I was claiming that he'd killed my own mother! How can you expect me to just go on home after reading something like this?" I glared at him angrily, hating how he kept trying to stop me. For an empath, he sure was doing a lousy job of understanding my feelings._

_ "Do you expect me to just go on home and pretend none of this happened?" I questioned._

_ "What? No, o' course not!" Jasper countered desperately. "I'm just trying ta look out fer ya, why can't _you_ understand that?"_

_ "All I understand is that you're in my way, and I'm leaving." I declared as I stood up, stuffing my file in my backpack and roughly kicking boxes out of my way as I stormed out of the small, cramped office. "I'm going back to Biloxi. You can come along or stay here, I don't care," I spat somewhat untruthfully. I wanted him with me, yet at the same time I didn't. I was just so darn confused._

_ "Ali! Alice, wait!" Jasper shouted as he rushed to my side. "Of course I'm comin' with ya," he stated strongly._

_ We exited the building and quickly made our way back to Biloxi. It was already dark so we were able to wander around the town without creating a fuss. I quickly found my niece's museum, and it was still open. I was about to march right on in when Jasper grabbed a hold of my arm and dragged me into an alleyway._

_ "Let me go Jasper! What the hell are you doing?" I screamed angrily. "I already told you, I'm doing this, so STOP getting in my WAY! God, I would've expected this from Dad or maybe even Mom, but not you! I thought you were on my side!" I ranted angrily, ignoring my husband's increased hurt and frustration._

_ "Will ya be quiet for a second and lemme explain?" he finally interjected sharply, giving me a hurt glare._

_ "I was just saying that if yer intent on doin' this, that you should wait 'till it's closed. Yer niece is in there, and ya CAN'T be seen by her! You'll risk exposin' us if you do something foolish like this, not to mention that Dad would have yer hide when he found out," Jasper lectured, giving me a disappointed look._

_ "I don't care if she recognizes me, I just"—I started to argue, but he grabbed onto my arm and shook my lightly, giving me a stern look along with bewildered eyes._

_ "Well I do, and I know fer a fact that Dad would too," he countered heatedly. "I'm sorry Alice, but I ain't gonna let you risk exposin' us cuz yer being too damn stubborn ta think clearly. Now if yer willin to wait until they're closed, then I'll help ya break in, but ya ain't goin in there while Mary is still inside." _

_ I knew he made sense. I knew it was a really stupid idea to go in there while Mary was inside, but I just couldn't help it. I was so darn close to figuring out my past. There were so many questions, and the answers could be just a few feet away. I glared at Jasper, yanked my arm away from him and sat myself down on the ground. Jasper let out a relieved sigh as he sat down beside me. He made to put an arm around me but I quickly moved away, placing myself opposite of him and turning my head away so I wouldn't have to look at him. I could feel his surprise, hurt, and exasperation, but I really didn't care. This wasn't about him. This was about me, and as far as I was concerned, he wasn't being very supportive or understanding. _

_ We sat out here for an hour and a half when I heard my niece closing up the museum. I stood up so that I would be able to see her as she walked out. I wanted to know what she looked like so that I could get a glimpse of what my sister may have looked like. Mary hobbled on out, a bright smile on her face, one I'd seen on my face on many occasions. Her hair was gray and short, her skin wrinkly. She pulled her jacket tighter around her as she slowly made her way to her car. I watched her every movement, inhaling her sweet, vanilla scent, and listening to her every heartbeat and breath. She got into her car and turned on the ignition. I had the sudden desire to follow her home, to see that she was well. I wanted to protect her because she looked so darn fragile, but I held myself back. For a woman of her age, she looked healthy, and due to the smile I saw, I knew she was happy. That was all I could ask for. _

_ I took a few shaky breaths before quickly arriving at the back door to the museum. There was a security camera, but I could tell it was a fake, a prop meant to deter people, well, people like me. Jasper was faithfully by my side, and so I turned and gave him a hard glare._

"_You wait out here," I ordered, and he stared at me in open mouthed astonishment._

"_What? Why?" he gasped out in shock._

"_I don't need you getting in my way and trying to stop me. It's obvious you don't understand, so just wait here and let me know if anybody is coming," I informed him, and his face turned blank before he gave me a curt nod._

"_Fine," he responded stiffly, walking back into the alleyway, displeasure clear in his every step._

_I made my way inside, closing the door behind me. Once again I spotted a fake security camera, and heaved a sigh that I wouldn't have to break anything._

_ I slowly wandered the small museum, taking in all the information regarding my hometown. I could have spent ages here, but knowing I was here with a purpose I immediately sought out the area that would most likely contain any information regarding the asylum or me. If I didn't find anything here, then my next step would be to go to Mary's house and search it._

_ It didn't take me long to realize that would not be necessary, for in a corner of the room there was an entire display labeled Tragic History of the Brandon Family. Why tragic history? Did it have anything to do with me? There were newspaper articles, and I quickly spotted the one regarding my death and that of my mother. There were others, one reporting my father's marriage to a Stephanie Olsen, shortly after my mother's death, along with his death in 1929. He had apparently committed suicide. Was this the tragic history, I thought dubiously._

_ I looked down into the cases, and immediately zeroed in on an open book full of writing…_my_ writing. Nervous energy fluttered through me, and my breathing rate began to increase. I read the first line, and if my heart beat I knew at that moment it would have stopped short. The first sentence read: _Dad just paid someone to kill me._ The entry was short and hurriedly written, blots of ink staining the pages. _

_ My mind was detached as I tried to pick the lock to the case. Being unable to, I ended up just breaking it with a sad sigh. I'd leave money so it could be replaced. Opening it up, I then quickly pulled out my diary and finished reading the passage. I described receiving a vision of my dad talking with the man who had I had seen in a previous vision murdering my mother. Vision dad had paid this man to come kill me because I had suspected that he had my mother killed in order to marry his new wife. I was suddenly hit with the urge to vomit, but I fought it back._

_ I went on to mention that I was going to go into hiding. The diary ended at that point, and I longed to know what happened. I had obviously failed at hiding, but why had my father put me in an asylum instead of having that man kill me? Well, the hospital file stated I'd been ranting about my father being a murderer, so it's possible I went and told someone about what I'd seen. They probably hadn't believed me though. Visions aren't really accepted now, and it was even less so then. _

_ I slowly slid down to the floor, settling on my knees as I stared down at the empty pages. I began flipping through the pages, reading about many different visions I had as a human. I learned about the love my mother and sister felt for me, and the love I felt for them. I learned of my father's disbelief and lack of tolerance towards my gift. I learned how my aunt and uncle blamed me for the death of their son after I had warned my cousin not to play in the trees because of a vision I'd had of him falling out. I read about the vision I had concerning my mother's murder, and how I'd warned her; and for months she had remained home until one day she went out due to my father's insistence. She never came home. Father married shortly afterwards to an evil stepmother who hated me. The feeling was mutual and I had begun to suspect that she was somehow connected to my mom's death. I had been right._

_ A few tears fell down my face as I tried to grapple with what I had read. Shakily bringing myself to my feet I began to read some of the information for this display. That was where I discovered what happened after my last entry. My sister Cynthia had found this information as an adult, and it had been rediscovered by her daughter Mary a decade ago. According to this information, I had tried to hide out at my aunt and uncle's house, but they had refused me, seeing as they hated me. I had then run to the town marshal, but Father had beaten me there. He had spread stories to the town that I had gone insane and tried to kill him, so the minute I stepped foot in the courthouse I had been apprehended and locked away in the Haddonfield Asylum. _

_ The sickening feeling in my stomach increased and I actually doubled over, gasping as I fought back the rising bile or venom, or whatever it was. Tears blurred my vision and began to litter the carpeted floor. My shoulders shook with suppressed sobs as I did the best to bring myself under control. _

_ Deep breaths Alice, I told myself. Take deep breaths._

_ Oh God, but this was so much worse than I ever imagined._

_ It will be alright though. I will be just fine._

_ How could I ever be fine again? My father murdered my mother and then tried to kill me before having me locked away in an asylum! He even bought a freaking tombstone, marking my date of death as the same one as my admittance to that wretched hospital!_

_ Calm Alice, calm. There is no need to freak out._

_ Ha! No need? Have you been reading the same information as me? Oh my god, what am I going to do? How am I going to deal with this?_

_ Several more tears escaped as I leaned forward, placing my head on the carpet. Taking deep breaths, I fought with all my might to rear in my emotions. I was being ridiculous, I scolded myself. There was no reason for me to be acting like this. This was in the past and the past couldn't hurt me….Oh, who the hell was I kidding? How many times over the years had I seen the effects our pasts had on my siblings and parents? I mean, even Dad, who was the most level-headed guy I knew went off the deep end for a bit when his past reared its ugly head._

_ But I wasn't going to do that. I wasn't going to let this…this tragedy affect me at all! I would pretend it didn't happen. I wouldn't tell anyone about it, not even Jasper. I'd bury it and just go back to the way I was before. I have no past. I have no memories. I am just Alice, not Alice Brandon, and _definitely_ not Mary. _

_ Slowly but surely I felt my emotions calm down. I was surprised that Jasper hadn't rushed in here when he felt me breaking down, but I figured he was either ignoring me, or felt that I wouldn't appreciate his help. That was true, I guess. I was glad he didn't come in because I didn't want him to see me like this._

_ I stood up, wiped at my face and once more stared down at my cursed journal. I had originally intended on taking it with me, but now I wanted it as far away from me as possible. The girl who wrote this was dead. I wasn't her and she wasn't me. I put the journal back in the case and swiftly made my way out of the museum._

_ As I approached Jasper, I did the best I could to radiate calm. I'd prefer happiness, but after what I discovered, calm would be difficult enough for me to achieve. Unfortunately, I didn't succeed. I either wasn't good enough or Jasper knew me too well, for as I neared him, he was instantly on his feet, giving me a very concerned look._

_ "What happened? Are you alright?" he asked, his brow furrowed in worry._

_ "I'm fine," I responded automatically, but he gave me a doubtful, pointed look._

_ "What did you find out, Alice?" he questioned more insistently, but I ignored him, making my way out of the town. He gave a frustrated sigh as he exasperatedly stated, "I knew you shouldn'tve gone in! Yer all upset over whatever ya found out, and now ya ain't talkin' to me. I just wanna help you, Ali, so please tell me what ya discovered." He was nearly begging me as he stood before me so that I was looking him in the eyes. _

_I could see his sincerity, but I couldn't bring myself to confide in him. This was for me to deal with on my own. I was the one that wanted to know my past, and despite all the warnings I was given about not liking what I'd find, I'd trudged on full-steam. _

"_There was nothing," I told him quite firmly. "I'm upset because there was nothing there. This was a waste of time, so let's just go home."_

_His eyes widened at my words before turning suspicious. "Ya don't want to go check out Mary's house?" he asked me hesitantly, but I just shook my head. _

"_Anything she had, she would've brought here. There's nothing more to find." I declared before taking off at a run. Jasper ran by my side, giving me increasingly concerned looks as we made our way home. I knew he didn't believe me, but he didn't press the matter; or, I didn't let him. He tried to speak to me several times, but I rebuffed him each time. I wasn't in the mood for talking. My mind was a whirl of thoughts, and my emotions were all over the place. I was confused, hurt, and angry. I wanted to forget. I really wanted to forget…_

… I roughly shook my head as I attempted to rid myself of these god forsaken thoughts. I supposed I should at least be grateful that my search hadn't triggered any of my human memories. I was bad enough as it was, so I could only imagine how much worse I'd be if I remembered what happened in detail. I'd seen Jasper, Rosalie and Dad lose themselves in flashbacks, and it was never pleasant.

"Alice, you _need_ to calm down," I heard Dad say before he gave a grunt as I swung my head back into his chin. Calm down? _Calm down_?!

I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to talk to Dad. It was his fault our family was scattered to the winds. It was his fault Edward was nowhere to be seen, Emmett and Rosalie were gone, and Bella was catatonic and _all alone_ back in Forks. Dad had abandoned someone he considered a daughter. What was to stop him from doing that to any of us? I mean he'd just let Edward leave! And then he'd let Emmett and Rosalie go too! Did he even really love us? Did he love me? Was he just using me for my visions?

I felt like sobbing at these depressing thoughts. Stop dwelling on the negative and get your butt out of here, I told myself. With all you've done, you know the second you settle down Carlisle is gonna tan your hide real good, and that is most definitely something to be avoided.

"Get your hands _off_ of me!" I hissed fiercely, giving the man a jab in the ribs with all the strength I could muster.

Carlisle gave a loud gasp, my mother shrieking an indignant, "_Alice_!" as the arms around me loosened. I took my mere millisecond of opportunity to make a break for it, but right as I was at arm's length from him, he pulled me back. I was in panic mode at this moment, so without really thinking I did what my instincts told me to and bit down hard on the wrist in holding onto me.

"Arrrgh!" he howled as he let go and I once more made to escape. I had just managed to take a step out onto my balcony when I heard a loud, ferocious growl that chilled me to the bones. I froze, the terrible sound shocking me out of whatever blind panic I'd been in. I swallowed back a mouthful of venom as I my brain finally caught up with me and I realized how badly I had just messed up.

"_Not another step_," Carlisle spoke in a slow, deep tone; it was a tone I'd never heard him use before, and one that just commanded my obedience. I instinctively knew that disobedience was not an option so I remained frozen where I was. Fear entered the pit of my stomach, and if my heart could beat, it would've been hammering a mile a minute. A vision hit me at this moment, and I began to tremble as I saw the punishment that awaited me. This was not going to end well for me.

**A/N:** We've reached the climax of little Alice's temper. Wow, she sure overstepped her boundaries this time, and her dear daddy is about to reel her back in quite roughly.

PLEASE REVIEW!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or Carlisle. So sad.

**Warning:** This story contains _**disciplinary spanking**_, so if that bothers you then don't _**read or flame**_!

**A/N: **Sorry for the late post. Took a nap around 12 and didn't wake up till 4:30. Yikes! Never had that happen before. Haven't read many reviews yet, but I see that I have 17, so THANK YOU! I really do appreciate every single one of them, so keep 'em coming!

Alice has reached the peak of her temper and now its time for Carlisle to yank her back in line, and she's not going to like that one little bit. Enjoy!

**Chapter 4: Attitude Adjustment**

**Carlisle's POV:**

"Get your hands _off_ of me!" Alice roared as she jabbed her elbow into my ribs with all her might. I let out a loud gasp of pain, my grip loosening slightly. I recovered almost immediately though, tightening my grip on my misbehaving child before she could escape. She responded with an enraged yell before biting down onto my wrist. I could feel as her razor sharp teeth, the upper and lower pierced through my skin and bone and I let out a pained howl.

My hold immediately loosened as I brought my injured wrist close to my chest. Alice took that time to break away from me, and that was when I decided it was time to end this tantrum. I was done being Mr. Nice Guy with my impetuous daughter. I had shown an incredible amount of restraint and patience with her today, more than I would have for any of my other children, that was for sure. This girl had severely overstepped her boundaries and she was about to suffer my wrath. Enough was enough, I thought as I quickly jumped to my feet and let loose a ferocious growl, noting in satisfaction as Alice froze in place.

_"Not another step,"_ I spoke in a slow, deep voice that absolutely commanded her obedience. It was the voice of her coven leader, and God help her if she even thought of disobeying me. I watched her silently, noticing right away when a shudder ran up her spine, and I knew that she'd no doubt just received a vision of her impending punishment. Her entire body began to tremble, and I could smell her fear. Good, she should be afraid.

My wrist throbbed painfully, and I could feel venom dripping down and onto the floor, but I stubbornly ignored it. Despite the incredible pain, it was still usable, and I felt dealing with my little rebel was more important and pressing than my wound. This was a matter that could not wait.

"Turn around," I ordered less severely, and she slowly did as I said. She was trembling and she looked scared, but her face still showed anger and defiance. I pulled myself up to my full height, crossed my arms, and gave Alice a foreboding look.

"If I were you I would get that look off my face this instant, little lady," I informed her quite sternly. My muscles were tense and I was once more desperately fighting against the urge to adjust her attitude here and now. I preferred to discuss things before dishing out a spanking, but every now and then words weren't an option, and the only thing that would get through my thick-skulled teens was a sore bottom.

Alice maintained her expression, although I did notice as more tears began to fall down her face. I felt my heart strings tug at the tears, but I ignored it. The time for compassion and understanding was over.

"Come here," I told her, pointing at the place in front of me. More fear flashed in her eyes and she shifted anxiously from one foot to the other. My girl knew she was in a bad way with me, a _very_ bad way. She knew what awaited her, which was why I wasn't surprised when she refused to move and just shook her head at me. Normally, I would soften my approach at this point. Normally, I would step away from the situation, but not this time. This girl would learn to do as she was told exactly when I told her to do it, or suffer the consequences. I knew I usually showed Alice more leniency than I did her siblings and mate, but that was because she was rarely in so much trouble. I couldn't and wouldn't do that anymore though. It was time I put my foot down and show her just how unacceptable her behavior has been.

I quickly assessed my emotions and state of mind, declaring myself sufficiently in control to deal with this. I was angry, yes, but more disappointed than anything.

"_Come here now,"_ I repeated, my tone once more deepening to that of a coven leader. As defiant and rebellious as she was feeling, I knew that she would not disobey such an order. None of my kids had ever disobeyed me when I had taken such a tone, and I didn't think Alice would be the first…or at least I hoped.

Several tense seconds passed before she began to take several small, hesitant steps. I allowed the slow pace, relieved that she was at least obeying me. I kept my severe expression, eyes boring into hers as she very slowly made her way towards me. She stopped a few steps away from me and I narrowed my eyes. Oh no, I was _not_ going to play this game.

_"Mary Alice Cullen, _you will get yourself over here this instant or"—but I didn't get to finish the threat because my little girl decided to lose her mind at this point and _scream at_ _me_.

"Arrghh! _Don't_ call me _Mary_!" Alice raged, and I felt a moment of sheer astonishment at her audacity; but that astonishment quickly turned into anger, disappointment, and frustration. That was it. I was _done_. I dimly heard my wife groan as she muttered, "Oh no," before I blurred over to my disrespectful child so quickly she did not see me coming.

I briefly noticed her wide, startled eyes before I deftly tucked her under my left arm and let loose on her backside. I didn't use anywhere near my full strength, but I didn't go easy on her either. She yelped and cried out with each smack, wriggling her body as she tried to avoid my punishing hand.

_Smack! Smack! Smack!_

"Oww, Daddy, please!" she yelled out, kicking her feet. I just tightened my grip as I paused long enough to yank down the girl's pants and undergarments. Alice gave an indignant shriek, kicking her feet even higher, so I landed several well placed swats on her upper thighs.

"Carlisle," Esme called out tentatively, but I completely ignored her. This girl had more than earned this thrashing, and she would take every bit of it.

_Smack! Smack! Smack!_ _Smack!_

"Owwww! Daaadddyy, I'm sorrrrryy!" she screamed, fully beginning to sob. She reached her hand back, covering her vulnerable backside.

"Move your hand," I told her, but she refused, yelling out a tearful, "But it hurts!"

"Alice, move your hand _now_!" I ordered, swatting her thighs until she let go with a pained wail.

"Ahhhh! Okay, okay, okay!" she screamed.

I laid into the girl, peppering her entire backside and upper thighs. She yelled and sobbed, and pleaded, but I wasn't stopping until I felt this lesson was learned.

"Carlisle, that's enough," Esme stated more loudly and firmly, but I just shot her a sharp look, silencing her protests. Her face turned utterly bewildered, and I turned away before I could see whatever expression followed.

I continued spanking my girl, letting my hand do the talking as she did all she could to get her backside out of harm's way. It was only when she finally stopped struggling, her knees buckling that I stopped, maintaining my hold long enough so that I could make sure she was steady enough to stand on her own.

She looked absolutely pitiful as she stood before me, one hand rubbing at her eyes, the other rubbing at her no doubt aching backside while she sobbed. I kept a hand wrapped around the back of her neck, gently massaging it to help her settle down some. This punishment was not finished, but there were things I needed to say before I would move on to the next phase.

"D-D-Dad, I-I'm *_sob_* sor-sorry!" Alice cried to me as she leaned her forehead into my chest and gripped onto my shirt. She was desperately seeking my comfort, but I was not yet ready to give it. I rubbed the back of her head slightly, allowing her a few more moments to settle down before pushing her away.

"Daaadddy," she whined, but I gave her a silencing look as I forced her to look into my disappointed eyes.

"We are not finished here, Alice Cullen, now are you ready to listen?" I questioned, and although my words incited a new wave of fresh tears, my daughter managed to nod her head. She gave a few more choked sobs before managing to bring herself under enough control as to where I felt she would hear what I had to say.

"I don't think I need to tell you how unacceptable your behavior has been today, but I will. The yelling, throwing things, back-talk, cursing, and shoving completely astounds me, and I can honestly say I have never been more disappointed in you than I have today. Never, and I do mean _never_ do I want to see you acting so disrespectfully and defiantly towards me or your mother again, do you hear me, young lady?" I pressed quite strictly.

She gave me a tearful nod as she responded, "Y-yes sir, I understand."

"We are your parents and we deserve your respect," I lectured. "We are nothing but good to you. We provide for your every need and we do not ask much from you except that you respect and listen to us."

"I know, Daddy, and I'm"—Alice began to speak, but I cut her off with a sharp, "I don't want to hear your apologies. Now, I don't know what has gotten into you, Alice, but when this spanking ends, you _will_ be informing me."

"But I don't"—she began to argue, and my eyes flashed before I gripped her arm and landed four sharp swats to her sit spots, causing her to burst into tears once more as she hopped from one foot to the other in an attempt to alleviate some of the pain.

Pulling Alice close to me, I leaned down, looked her straight in the eyes and said, "I know you found out more of your past than you told me." Her eyes widened at my words. "I know whatever you found out is eating away at you, making you act out in a manner that is very much unlike my normally well-behaved daughter. So, you and I _will_ discuss this, and you _will_ be honest and forthcoming with me because, truthfully sweetheart, I have no qualms with blistering your backside until you do." I heard a disgruntled growl from behind me, and had to resist the urge to turn around and give my own wife a stern look. She was _not_ going to interfere in this.

"O-okay Da-Daddy, I'll t-tell y-you," my daughter stated, giving me an insistent look. She sniffed noisily, wiping at her face with both her hands. She was taking shaky breaths, hiccoughing every now and then as she tried to stop her tears, but they kept falling. I watched her silently, my heart beginning to ache as I rubbed at my injured wrist. Looking down I grimaced at the ugly bite before tearing off the bottom hem of my shirt and wrapping it tightly around the wound. I then took in several deep breaths, readying myself for what would come next. I felt I had dealt with her attitude, but now was time to deal with her having shoved her mother and having bitten me. These actions were inexcusable and could not be left unpunished.

My angel's tears began to fall even more rapidly as she saw what was coming to her. She looked at me with wide, tearful, pleading eyes as she begged, "Please, _please_ Daddy, don't wh-whip m-me! I-I swear I w-won't d-do it ag-again! Please Daddy!"

"You know the rules, Alice, and you know that it is unacceptable to lay a hand on either your mother or I out of anger," I responded in an unyielding tone.

"Nooo Daddy, please, please, _please_! I d-don't wanna be whipped!" she cried out in between sobs as she wrapped her arms around me. I just shook my head in response, unfastened her grip on me and directed her towards her still-standing bed.

"Over the bed, Alice," I stated, but the poor girl just broke down into more sobs, stubbornly shaking her head at me. I fought back a growl as I began to drag her towards the bed. She was not getting out of this punishment. It was more than deserved.

"Carlisle Cullen, that is _enough_!" Esme suddenly shouted, appearing next to me in a flash, forcefully grabbing hold of my bicep. I froze, my body stiffening, teeth clenching as I fought back a wave of anger. Turning towards my wife, I gave her a chilling glare, my tone deepening as I told her in full authority, "_Do not interfere_."

Esme's eyes widened and she gave me a shocked look, her hand dropping from my arm as she took a step back. My stomach churned as I realized the tone I'd just taken with my wife, a tone I swore I would _never_ take with my her as it was one she could not disobey. I wanted to take it back, but the deed was done. A hurt, irate look crossed over her face as she stared at me. Her jaw was clenched, the fire in her eyes building before she took several steps away from me, bowing her head in submission. I felt sick at the sight, and wanted nothing more than to beg her forgiveness at this point, but now was neither the time nor the place. She could not interfere in this.

"Could you go and wait for Jasper?" I asked, and though my tone was void of emotion, I made it clear with my eyes that this was not an order. She could refuse me if she wanted to.

"Very well," she responded stiffly, and I could tell she was biting back several words and/or threats as she gazed between me and Alice. Her words were not necessary though as her eyes told me everything I needed to know. If I crossed the line with _her_ daughter, then she would make good on the promise she had made to me when I had lost control with Emmett. I fought back a shiver, although I really had no reason to be worried. I had no plans on taking things too far with Alice. I was in complete control and the girl would receive nothing more than she deserved.

I gave Esme a single nod of understanding as I said, "I will let you know when it is time to come home," and with those parting words she was gone.

Giving an internal sigh I turned to stare down at my daughter who had gone silent the second I had issued the order to my beloved. Silent tears continued to fall down her cheeks, and her eyes widened in panic as she stared at the doorway her mother had walked out of. She knew her last chance at leniency was gone, and as such her breaths were beginning to come out in gasps once more as she turned pleading eyes towards me. I could see the fear building, and I frowned. Some fear was good, but the amount she was displaying was not. Seems it was time to slow things down a little.

I eyed her for a few more seconds, determining whether I could trust her not to run if I released my hold. While still afraid and obviously upset, she seemed to have lost the panic and defiance. Letting go, I reached down, pulling up her panties and sweats before sitting her down on her bed. She yelped loudly, squirming quite uncomfortably, but to her credit she did not attempt to get up. I allowed her a minute to try and situate herself before clearing my throat to grab her attention.

Large, doleful eyes full of tears gazed up at me, and I had to fight the sudden urge to just end this part of her punishment right now and pull her into my arms. Ugh, I absolutely _hated_ having to punish my kids, but when it was one of my girls, it was always _so much harder_. My boys always tried to be tough. They did the best they could to take their punishments stoically, and instead of pleads and tears they normally resorted to defiance and heated words, which were much easier for me to deal with. My girls though, there were almost always tears before the spanking even started, and their cries were always louder than the boys, tearing at my heart like no other.

I closed my eyes momentarily, pinching the bridge of my nose as I once more strengthened my resolve. Alice had done wrong, and she would suffer the consequences. She knew just as well as Jasper and her siblings that striking out at anyone in this family out of anger would lead to a sore bottom; and she knew that doing so with her mother or me was the surest route to feeling the harsh sting of my leather belt. Five licks; that was the standard amount I had given when Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper had committed the same offense with me. The situation with Alice was slightly different though as not only had she struck and bitten me, but she had also shoved her mother. Attacking me was one thing, but attacking her mother, well, my venom boiled at the mere thought.

My kids were vampires. They had strength, speed, power, and instincts, but they were still kids. They had the raging hormones of teenagers, hot tempers and insecurities. They were forces to be reckoned with, but they still required guidance and discipline. In any other coven Alice's attack would more than likely have resulted in death, loss of limb at the very least, but not in mine, _never_ in mine. Anytime I felt I was too hard on my kids, anytime their tears became too much for me to handle I had to remind myself of this. I had to remind myself that my punishments were given out of love, in a desire to keep my rambunctious lot safe, to see them better themselves.

As much as I was going to loathe myself for doing so, I had to be tough on my angel. Attacking me had earned her five licks. Attacking her mother had earned her another five. Alice _would_ take those ten licks. She _would_ endure, and so would I.

Alice began to shake, her tears falling more rapidly as she no doubt saw her future solidify.

"Alice," I began to speak, wincing both at how harsh my voice still sounded and how my daughter promptly burst into tears, burying her head in her hands.

_Damn_, I thought, giving myself a rough mental shake. I immediately softened my expression, crouching before my distraught child.

"Alice," I spoke much more gently this time, "Please look at me." She shook her head at me, continuing to sob her heart out, absolutely breaking my heart in the process. Argh, we hadn't even begun the whipping and she was already a mess. My fault. All my fault. I had to calm her down before we could even contemplate commencing.

"Sweetheart, please look at me," I repeated, gently yet firmly removing her hands from her lovely face.

"Shhh, Angel, shhh," I murmured, lovingly running a hand through her hair, "I need for you to take some deep breaths for me, okay?"

"D-D-Daddy, I d-don't want a whipping, _pleeeaaase_ Daddy," she begged, her tears having calmed enough for her to speak. She leaned forward, wrapping her arms around my neck, leaning her head against mine.

"I know," I responded softly, rubbing the back of her head before pulling away enough so we could lock eyes with each other.

"Daaaaaadddyy," she whined pitifully, and though the look I gave her was full of love and understanding, it was also full of determination. She would _not_ be changing my mind.

"Let's talk," I suggested, leaning further away from her. Her arms did not loosen her grip, and I didn't bother to force her. If physical contact was a source of comfort for her now, then I would provide it.

"You know why I am doing this, right?" I questioned, and she stifled a sob before shaking her head. Stubborn child, I thought with a sigh.

"Alice," I said sternly, and she cringed lightly before hesitantly meeting my eyes. I raised my eyebrow, letting her know I expected a truthful response.

"Nooo, I d-don't know," she claimed, and I frowned at her blatant lie. I was not in a gaming mood.

"Mary Alice," I spoke more sharply, not surprised when I saw the sudden flash of anger in her eyes. What did surprise me though was when she lifted a hand up as if to smack me. I quickly snatched her wrist with my hand and gave it a hard smack with my other before giving her a steely glare.

"Ouch!" Alice yelped, her eyes widening, and she stared between her trapped wrist and my angry countenance with a stunned look, looking as surprised by her actions as I was.

I clamped down on my fury, all the more determined about my child's punishment.

"Let's try again, shall we?" I intoned coolly, and Alice gave me a deer-in-the-headlights look before I asked again, "You know why I am doing this, right?" I had yet to release my hold on the girl, and she feebly tried to pull her hand free before shakily answered in a near whisper, "B-because I ph-physically hurt y-you a-and mom."

"And why is that wrong?" I calmly questioned, still refusing to release the hand that had been ready to strike me.

Alice finally stopped struggling as she tearfully responded, "It was wrong because-because we're family, a-and f-families don't h-hurt each other, no matter-no matter what." I nodded my head to show my agreement, and then twirled my finger to insinuate I was waiting for more. She took in a shaky breath before continuing. "It wa-was even more w-wrong, cuz y-you and mom are my parents a-and n-nothing but good to me, so y-you d-deserve my respect."

"We do," I replied with another nod. "Now tell me, Ali, what are the consequences of fighting?"

My angel whimpered before dutifully answering me. "A spanking."

"And what are the consequences of fighting with your mother or me?" I questioned, my tone becoming more serious.

"Ohhhh," my daughter whined distressfully, wiping at her face with her free hand as she rocked back and forth.

"Answer the question," I stated strictly, and tears leaked out of her eyes as she said, "The-the consequences are _*sob* _a-a spankin' with your-your belt—Daddy, please,"—

"No, Alice," I interjected sharply, cutting her pleads off. "You know the rules and you know the consequences. Fighting and lashing out in anger as you did today is expressly forbidden. You know this, yet you still went through with your actions," I lectured, and she just shook her head at me as she protested, "But I was upset, Daddy, I was really upset."

"No excuse, Alice Cullen, there is _no_ excuse that will ever justify what you did. You _never ever_ attack a family member, _especially_ your mother or me. As you just stated, we are your parents and we deserve your respect. I know you were upset, angel," I spoke more kindly, "but you should have talked about what was bothering you. We gave you multiple chances to do so, but you chose instead to bottle it up and lash out at us. You chose instead to throw a temper tantrum, destroying your room and your possessions before unleashing your anger on us."

"But 10 swats, Daddy?" she cried. "I can't take that many. You've never given the others that many, so why me? I can't do it, Daddy, I can't. I've never been spanked with a belt."

I finally released my daughter's wrist before cupping her face with my hands. "You can and you will endure, Alice," I declared with conviction. "And you are receiving 10 licks because you attacked not only me, but your mother as well. 5 licks for her and 5 licks for me."

"I can't do it, it's gonna hurt so bad," she told me. "I'm already sore, Daddy, please, _please_ don't do this. I learned my lesson, I swear"—

"If you had learned your lesion, you would not have attempted to strike me not but five minutes ago," I interjected sternly. Her eyes turned guilty, and she cried her apologies to me, but I had heard enough. Putting this off would not change anything. She would only work herself up even more. It was time to put her out of her misery.

Decision made, I stood up, hands on my hips as I stared down my misbehaving child. She was once more sobbing loudly, but there was nothing I could do about it. These sobs were out of fear and self-pity, and soon they would be sobs of pain and guilt.

"Stand up, Alice," I ordered, taking a step away from the bed as I began to unbuckle my belt. I frowned in displeasure when my order was ignored. Swiftly pulling the belt from the loops, I doubled it over and brought it down on my hand, creating a loud cracking sound. Alice immediately jumped to her feet, letting out a startled yell as she stared between me and the belt in my hands.

I ignored the sting as I then ordered the girl to turn around and bend over. She threw me one last pleading look before she finally resigned herself to her fate. Turning around, she slowly began to bend over her bed. Placing the belt on the bed right next to her, I placed my left hand on her back, pushing her until her entire body lay flat on the bed. Looking towards my left I then grabbed the pillow that smelt most like Jasper and handed it to her. She grasped onto it like a lifeline, a loud sob escaping her as she buried her head in it. My heart was aching at the sight and sound, but I ignored it. Gently rubbing my daughter's back, I quickly lowered her sweats and underwear before picking up my belt.

"Why are you in this position, Alice?" I questioned, my voice a bit hoarse.

"Cuz I h-hurt you a-and m-mommy. I-I'm so s-sorry, D-daddy," she replied thickly, and I nodded my head as I responded with forced calm, "Correct. You will receive 10 licks from this belt, no more, no less. Let this serve as a reminder to you about how serious I am about you not attacking your mother or me. Feel free to yell and holler all you want, Angel, but don't kick your feet and don't reach back, understood?"

"Uh-huh," was the response I received, and I took a deep breath, hardening my heart before raising the belt in the air.

_Crack! Crack!_ The first two licks came down, and I nearly jumped out of my skin at how loud my daughter's yells were.

"OWWW! Daddy!" she yelled out in pain, immediately jumping to her feet and furiously rubbing at her behind.

Oh, my poor girl, I couldn't help but think inwardly. Outwardly though, I was stern and unyielding. "Alice Cullen, you will maintain your position or I _will_ be adding to your whipping, am I clear?"

"Y-Yes sir, ver-very cl-clear!" she hollered before shakily lowering herself down again. Good girl, I thought, giving her back a light rub.

_Crack! Crack! Crack!_ I landed the next three as quickly as I did the first two, and once again my little girl howled with pain, her sobs increasing in volume and intensity. She squirmed on the bed, gripping Jasper's pillow so tightly I thought she was going to rip it apart.

"Five more, Alice, you are doing very well," I told her, my voice cracking from how much emotion I was holding back. She was in so much pain and it was all my fault.

_Crack!_ "AHHHH! _*sob*,_ 'M so _*sob*_ sorry!" Alice sobbed loudly. I know you are, sweetheart, I know you are.

_Crack! Crack!_ Alice yelled out in pain before beginning to mumble nearly unintelligible apologies to me. My heart broke, it really did, and I found my breaths beginning to come in short gasps, tears prickling at my eyes. I wanted to cry, but I had no right to cry.

I had to finish this. I raised the belt, ready to bring it down twice more in quick succession to end this blasted punishment, but right before I could my little one reached her hand back, placing it over her vulnerable backside.

"N-No mo-more, D-d-daddy, plea-please! Hu-hurts!" she managed to choke out, and I nearly burst into tears at her words. I had to finish this though. I had to finish what I started.

Taking a deep breath, I pinned the girl's hand to her back, bringing down my belt a final two times, quicker and lighter than all the rest. Alice still cried out from the pain, but it was over and done with. Feeling beyond relieved and disgusted with myself I flung my belt out into the hallway before staring down at my heartbroken child. She lay on the bed, head buried in her pillow, loud heart-wrenching sobs escaping from her tiny frame.

Taking another deep breath, I choked back a sob of my own before very carefully pulling up her underwear and sweats. I winced when she cried out from these simple actions. I restrained myself from just lifting the girl into my arms, unsure of whether or not she would welcome my comfort. The one time I had whipped Rosalie she had immediately fled to her room, and an agonizing two hours passed by before she sought out my comfort. I hoped it would not be the same with Alice.

I bent down on the bed, laying my upper body right next to Alice, turning my heads towards her as I ran a hesitant hand through her spiky locks. I took it as a good sign when she did not resist my touch, but I was somewhat disheartened that she did not even turn to look at me. Alice usually attached herself to me like a leech after I'd spank her, so this was unusual for her. Withholding a sigh, I began to quietly hum my lullaby, continuing to run a soothing hand through her hair. Nearly twenty minutes passed by like this, her sobs only lessening slightly before she finally turned her woeful gaze towards me.

"Hello, Angel," I greeted lovingly, giving her tear-stained cheeks a light caress.

"Y-You don't-don't h-hate me, do y-you?" she was barely able to choke out, and I immediately froze, completely caught off guard by the question.

"_Hate_?!" I gasped out uncomprehendingly, my mind racing to recall what exactly I could have done to have triggered such doubt. "Of course not, Alice, I could _never_ hate you. You're my daughter, my little angel, and I love you dearly."

Alice gazed back at me with her dark eyes full of pain. Tears continued to cascade down her cheeks as she then asked, "A-and you'd n-never ma-make me l-l-leave?"

Maker her leave? Where was all this coming from? "No, Alice, of course not! How could you think such a thing?" I questioned, feeling quite distressed. What did I do? How could I have made my own child feel unloved, and as though I would abandon her? "I love you Alice Cullen, and no matter what you do, I would _never_ make you leave. Families don't abandon each other."

Alice began to cry in earnest once more at my proclamation, finally lifting herself up before she launched herself at me. I gladly pulled her into my arms, laying my entire body on the bed with her wrapped securely in my arms. Her grip on me was tight, and I buried my face in her hair, tears leaking from my own eyes as I lost the battle with my self-control.

**A/N:** Emotional chapter, right? Poor Alice sure dug herself into quite the deep hole, didn't she? Thankfully our favorite vampire dad is quite experienced with dragging stubborn teenage vampires out of those kinds of holes, haha! Let me know your thoughts by REVIEWING!


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight.

**Warning:** This story contains _**disciplinary spanking**_ of teenage vampires. Don't bother reading or flaming if this offends you.

**A/N: **Thanks so much for the WONDERFUL reviews you guys, I love 'em all! So, general consensus is that Esme is pissed at Carlisle for what happened. Well, she is, but there's more to it than that, and I think it'll be another chapter or two before you really find out why. Carlisle kind of dug himself into a deep hole of his own, but that's all I'm going to say about that. Now, this is where the story basically shifts to Jasper. Alice has been dealt with and now it's time for our favorite cowboy to respond to what's happened.

**Chapter 5: Hold it Cowboy**

**Jasper's POV:**

I headed home at a leisurely pace, truly not in any hurry to get there; which was surprisin' considerin' my Alice was there. I let out a frustrated sigh, running one of my hands through my hair.

Alice. Her name evoked such strong emotions, and unfortunately, not all of 'em were positive at this moment. I was angry. Surprisin', I know, but true. I was angry with Alice…and I was hurt…and frustrated beyond belief! I loved her to death, I truly did, but right now I didn't know whether ta pull her into my arms or shake the damned bull-headedness out of her.

Oh, how I wished we'd neva gone to Biloxi! How I wished we'd neva met that psychopathic imbecile, James! Arrgghh!

I knew before we'd even gone to Biloxi that there'd be no good news. How could it when she'd ended up in a hospital before bein' turned? It was worse than I'd thought though. It was worse than I knew. Alice found something out in that museum. She found something terrible, and how I wished I'd insisted on goin' in there with her! I'd felt her emotions turn to absolute shock and devastation when she was in there, but I'd remained outside. It had been extremely difficult for me to do so, but I had assured myself that she would've confided in me what she had found.

I was such a damned fool!

And so was she!

There was no reason for her to be keepin' this news to herself. There was no reason for her to be sufferin' alone. Had I not already proven to her that I could be trusted? That I would always be there for her? That I wouldn't judge? That I loved her unconditionally?

_Why_ was she keepin' secrets from me?I'd done the best I could to be supportive of her desire to learn her past. Despite my misgivings, I'd supported her when she decided to head to Biloxi. I'd gone with her and helped her look through all those records. What more could I have done?

I thought back to what had set her off, and I frowned deeply, rubbing at my forehead as my frustration continued to mount. All I'd done was show my concern for her. All I'd done was ask her to take a step back and to _think_, but she'd taken it so badly. She'd grown furious with me, accusing me of not understandin' and of not bein' supportive.

Bullshit! I have always, _always_ been supportive of Alice. I have _always_ stood by her side through thick and thin. I have protected her from anything and everything that would bring her ta harm, even landing myself in a good bit of trouble with the parents more than a time o' two.

How could she not trust me? How could she feel that she needed ta suffer through all this crap alone?

Life in the Cullen family had been pretty miserable these last couple months. I wasn't a big fan o' school, but with all the negative emotions at home I just had ta get away. I'd thought for sure Alice woulda come with me. I mean she had been talkin' about getting a degree in design, so I had been flabbergasted when she decided to _willingly_ go back to high school.

Why the heck would she do that? All we Cullen kids _hated_ high school, and none of us woulda ever willingly have subjected ourselves to such torture. I just couldn't understand why she was doing this. I had offered to go with her, but she had shot me down, remindin' me that the story had already been spread that I was a college student. I told her I didn't care about that, but she was adamant that she didn't want me to go with her.

I knew then what this was about. She didn't wanna be 'round me. That thought caused me more pain than anythin' I had ever suffered through. My own wife didn't want ta be around me.

I let out a loud roar at these thoughts, plowing through several trees.

For months now Alice and I hadn't been gettin' along. I tried again and again and _again_ ta get her ta talk to me—to open up to me, but she refused, growin' angrier and angrier with me the more I brought it up. I tried to get her to talk to Dad or Mom, but she _still_ refused me. I threatened a few weeks ago ta tell our parents what was up, and how she hadn't been honest with them but after feelin' her absolute terror at my words, I couldn't bring myself to follow through. I knew they needed to know, but it was gonna have ta be Alice that told them. I couldn't bring myself to betray her trust when it already seemed she had so little of it in me.

We didn't spend much time with each other anymore. I spent a lot of my time at the university, and Alice spent most of her time away from home shoppin'. Mom and Dad knew somethin' was up and Mom had approached me several times, about once a week actually on what was botherin' me or what was goin' on between Ali and I, but I'd manage to brush her concerns away, my gift proving quite useful. I knew she didn't truly buy that I was just fine, but she had no idea how to get me to talk. Dad had even confronted me once, but I'd once again kept my mouth shut. I'd told him instead of the guilt I felt over how Bella's birthday party turned, and how a part of me felt that all the hardship our family was experiencing was my fault, but he'd told me I'd been wrong. He'd told me that Bella didn't hold nuthin' against me, and that it was Edward and he who made the choice to leave Forks.

Ugh, thinkin' of Edward and Bella brought back a whole 'nother slew of emotions I'd rather not be dealin' with right now. I was worried about my little brother, but I was also furious with him. Leavin' Bella had been stupid. I'd agreed at first cuz I'd been so scared by what I'd almost done, but the more I'd thought about it, the more I'd realized it was the wrong choice. I knew what Bella and Edward had was true love. They were mates, and being apart from each other would bring them nuthin' but suffering. I'd seen how bad Edward got, and I could only imagine how Bella was. I just hoped she was handlin' her sorrow betta than Edward, the idiot. How I'd like ta just track him down and drag his sorry behind home; and if Dad didn't tan his hide for all the worry he'd put us through then I sure would.

Neither one of my parents was doing well. They were both stressed and constantly worried. When Mom wasn't pestering me or Alice she kept busy with one project after another while Dad just spent all the time he could at the hospital. I couldn't help but be angry with Dad for not having noticed how bad my Alice was—for not having helped her yet. Couldn't he see the suffering she was going through? Dad had confronted me once, but had he confronted Alice? Had he tried to talk to her? Had he tried to comfort her?

NO! He was too damn lost in his own sorrow and guilt. He regretted leaving Forks. He was worried constantly about every single one of us, and he like me was angry with Edward, but he didn't do anything about it. He just wallowed in his self pity. He needed to man up and do something cuz I was startin' to doubt his leadership abilities. Our family had fallen apart and yet he continued to carry on like everything would fix itself in due course. He needed to do something!

Sigh, I was getting side tracked. Now wasn't the time ta be thinkin' about my parents or Edward or Bella. I needed to be focusing on my Alice, the love of my life. She was my first priority and it was obvious I was the only one that wanted to help her. I was the only one that cared. No matter what it took, I was gonna see her happy once more.

I slowed down as entered into our territory, choosin' to walk the rest of the way. I needed ta think. I needed ta figure out what to do.

But what could I do?

I'd just have to continue doin' what I had been doin'. I'd be there for her no matter how even if she tried to push me away. I'd quit college and keep an eye on her while she was at school. I'd be by her side every second of every moment so that she'd know how much I loved her—so she'd know that _I _would never abandon her! I would prove to her that—

I abruptly stopped walking, catching the scent of my mom. Looking to my right I watched as she ran over to me with a loving, maternal smile, and my heart melted, whatever anger I had harbored towards her completely vanishing. How could I maintain my irritability towards her in the face of such honest motherly affection?

I gave Esme a smile, happily accepting her greeting hug.

"Hello, Mama, how ya doin'," I had begun to drawl before tensing when I felt the emotions she had so poorly been trying to hide from me: worry, hurt, anger, and bewilderment. I pulled away from her, placing my hands on her arms as I gave her a serious look.

"What happened? What's wrong?" I asked, my mind going into hyper drive as I imagined a multitude of horrible scenarios.

Mom shushed me, running both her hands through my hair as she said, "Nothing is the matter, sweetheart,"—

"Don't lie to me," I interjected sharply, more on edge than before. "Yer emotions are tellin' me that everythin' is far from fine so please don't treat me like some ignorant child, Mom."

My mother sighed, giving my cheek a gentle pat as she gave me an apologetic look.

"You're right, Jasper, and I'm sorry," she apologized. "I will tell you what is going on if you promise to hear me out and keep a hold of your temper."

I frowned, wondering why she was worried about me losing my temper. "Course, Mama," I responded, dropping my hands from her arms. She lowered her arms, grasping both my hands, and I suddenly had a pretty good idea of what she was going to tell me.

"What's wrong with Alice? Is she alright?" I questioned, and Mom raised an eyebrow at me her expression and emotions telling me to keep quiet. I didn't want to, so it was with great difficulty that I forced down several protests. Mom eyed me for several agonizing seconds before beginning to speak.

"Alice was expelled from school today for having attacked a human. Don't interrupt," she stated when I opened my mouth to ask several questions. "Alice lost her temper, not her control, and the human ended up with a shattered jaw." I felt completely floored by what she said. Alice, _my little Alice_ lost her temper and attacked a human? I couldn't believe it! What had that lousy human done to my wife? Damn! This was all my fault! I shoulda been there for her! I shouldn'ta let her talk me outta going to high school with her. She _needed_ me, and I hadn't been there for her! This neva woulda happened if I'd been there!

"Jasper, Jasper, honey, stop that," Esme scolded sternly. "What happened with Alice was in no way your fault."  
"If I'da been there, then this wouldn'tve happened," I refuted firmly. "How is Alice? Is she alright?"

Mom sighed, but before she could speak I roughly pulled away from her as I suddenly realized what she was doing here. Alice had been in a fight, and I knew that getting' in a fight got ya nuthin' more than a good smackin' from Dad. That was why Mom was here. My dear, sweet, innocent wife was getting her tail lit up and Mom was here ta keep me from interferin'. I _would not _stand for this!

"Dad betta not be spankin' my wife!" I roared, fists clenched in sudden fury. "I'm sure she had a perfectly good reason for attackin' that human. You know she don't lose her temper for no reason."

"Jasper Lee, you will lower your voice this instant and reign in that temper," Esme chided, giving me a frigid glare. "You know better than to yell at me, and you know very well what the consequences are for getting into a fight. Add that to her risking our exposure, disrespecting us, and the multitude of temper tantrums she has thrown, and that little girl has more than earned herself a sound spanking."

Disrespect? Temper tantrums? What in tarnations was wrong with my mate? Alice didn't have temper tantrums…I mean, except for these past few months…Arrggghhh! Forget this, I was going home to Alice this second. I pulled my hands out of Esme's and was turning to run home when she grabbed a hold of my bicep.

"Jasper, stop it," she ordered, attempting to yank my arm out of her grasp, but she just tightened her grip. I could have pulled harder, but I didn't wanna risk hurting her.

"Let me go," I demanded, my angry eyes boring into hers. Esme's eyes darkened in response and she got right into my face.

"Jasper Lee Cullen, I have had more than enough attitude for one day, believe me," she began to lecture. "Alice is receiving her more than deserved punishment right now and I don't want to hear another word out of you, do you hear me?"

Most her words registered with me, but I was still too upset to really heed her words. All I knew was that Alice was hurting and that she needed me. Coming to a decision I lowered my head to show submission, waiting for the second that Mom loosened her grip so I could yank my arm out of her grasp and make a mad dash for home.

It was a good plan, but unfortunately it didn't go as planned. It seemed my mama was wise to my act cuz the second I pulled away from her she grabbed a hold of my ear, giving it a harsh tug downwards. I let out a loud yelp, bending downwards to alleviate some of the pain. It worked, but a new pain enveloped me, centered right around my vulnerable posterior.

"How _dare _you try and manipulate me, young man!" Mama scolded harshly, landing swat after stinging swat.

"I'm sorry," I choked out before gritting my teeth and deftly trying to maneuver my vulnerable backside out of harm's way.

"Yes, you are sorry now that you are getting your backside warmed up, aren't you?" she responded angrily, and I cringed at her words, letting out a whimper when she landed a particularly harsh swat.

"How many times, Jasper—_how many times_ are we going to have to go through this?" my infuriated mother questioned. "How many times are you going to lose all sense of reason anytime Alice is in trouble?" I tried to formulate an acceptable response, but she began speaking once more before I could.

"No more of this Jasper, do you hear me, son? Do you have any idea how much your lack of trust in your father hurts him? Or how much your lack of trust in me hurts me?" Mom asked, her voice cracking from the amount of emotions she was holding back.

Tears prickled at my eyes, and I painfully bit down on my tongue to keep from yelling.

"I-ouch-I do trust ya, Mama!" I was able to shout, finally letting out a yell when she began attacking my sit spots.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! I thought, a few tears managing to escape, her sadness and guilt compounding mine.

"Well you certainly don't act like it," was her response, her strict tone revealing none of her strife. "We have discussed your overprotectiveness time and time again, and time and time again you have disregarded those talks, not only landing yourself in trouble, but hurting your father."

Her words stung more than her swats did, and it took several seconds as I registered these words before I realized my spankin' had come to an end. My mama had released her painful hold on my ear, and she just stood in front of me with her arms crossed and a displeased expression. I hastily wiped at my face, clenching and unclenching my fists as I resisted the urge to rub my aching backside and ear. It hadn't been the worse lickin' I'd eva received, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. My poor rear was throbbin' against my suddenly too tight jeans.

"I-I'm sorry, Mama," I spoke, not likin' how pitiful my voice sounded. "I do trust you and Papa, it's just that Alice—I just don't think clearly when"—

"Save it as I have heard it all before," she interrupted, and I looked down at my feet in shame.

Dumb cowboy, I thought harshly, now look at what ya done! Tears welled up in my eyes once more at the thought that my relationship with my mama could be damaged. She was so darn good ta me and here I was screwin' things up. I was a horrible son!

"Jasper, look at me," Esme ordered, and I obediently lifted remorseful eyes to her. Her gaze was stern and unyielding although her emotions were anything but. They were a swirling vortex of anger, hurt, frustration, confusion, and sadness. Was I the cause of this?

"I do not understand your continued obstinacy, and honestly I have no idea what to say to you anymore. Your behavior confounds me and after all these years as a part of our family I would have thought you would have learned to trust Carlisle and I, but I guess I was wrong," she stated simply and tiredly, her words striking me like a physical blow.

"I"—

"Don't speak," Esme declared, holding a hand up and turning away from me. "There is nothing right now that you could say to justify your actions so it is best you just remain silent." I fought back a wave of tears but I was unable to restrain the hurt that I felt. Mom must have felt it for she immediately turned around and stared at me with unreadable eyes before letting out a weary sigh.

I bit back the apology I so desperately wanted to give and settled for just using my gift to convey my remorse.

Mom studied me for several moments before just shaking her head at me. "I feel your remorse, but I'm not sure you truly mean it as I have no doubt in my mind of how you will react when you hear what more trouble Alice has gotten into."

My readied denials died on my lips as she finished her sentence, and I tensed, mind and emotions whirling as I wondered what she was talking about. What more trouble could Alice have gotten into in the few hours we had been apart?

I should be with her! I should be helping her, comforting her, and making things right between us, not here arguing with Mom!

Instant guilt hit me at my thoughts as they proved what she had stated just seconds before. Once more I was ready to rush off without thought to my mate. Once more I was feeling righteous anger at the thought of Carlisle laying a finger on her. Even now, venom was flooding my mouth, a growl building in my chest as my protective instincts flared to life.

Stop it, Whitlock! I scolded myself harshly. Stop bein' an overprotective fool. You trust Esme and Carlisle…don't you? You know they'd neva hurt Alice. They love 'er ta death, you've felt it yerself.

But she doesn't deserve ta be punished like that, another part of me snarled heatedly. She don't deserve a spankin' when she ain't done nuthin' wrong! She's been horribly stressed and out o' sorts lately over what she learned of her past. Extenuating circumstances should be taken into account. That dumb human had ta of done somethin' ta deserve my Alice's attack cuz Lord knows she wouldn'ta lost her temper for no damn reason. Carlisle and Esme have ta be overreactin cuz they just don't understand! They probably didn't even let her defend herself before judgment was passed!

I let loose a hiss, my fists clenched as I imagined the pain my wife had to be in at this very moment. What was I still doin' here? Why wasn't I rushin' to her aid?

Because she's not in danger, you bullheaded mule! Dad would neva in a million years hurt Alice, _you know this_! You've been spanked by him plenty o' times and you've come out alright every time. Hell, you've even experienced the dreadful sting of his belt and lived ta tell the tale, so why would you think Alice wouldn't be alright?

I lifted my hands and gripped fistfuls of my hair, growls of frustration rumbling deep in my chest. I closed my eyes as my conscience warred with itself. I had to go help Alice…or did I? Would she be alright? Of course she would…right? Why wasn't I with her already? Why was I still sitting here debating this? Because she was in no danger, of course…right? Yes…no…maybe…

**Esme's POV:**

I watched my son grip his hair in frustration and frowned at his obvious internal struggle. He was no doubt fighting with himself over his tendency to overreact anytime Alice got herself into trouble. I thought he had gotten better, but he had proven me wrong. When I had come to find Jasper, I had anticipated his anger, but I had not anticipated how far he would go to get to Alice. I had not anticipated that he would stoop so low as to try and manipulate me. The mere memory caused my venom to boil. How dare that boy try and trick me?! Had he not learned this lesson long ago? Did he have no respect for me? Did he think me a fool?

I briefly closed my eyes and swallowed back the anger that was once more welling up inside of me. My southern boy deserved every swat I gave him and then some for thinking he could pull the wool over my eyes. It was a good thing I knew him well enough to be able to tell when he was lying, but I was so hurt by his actions. I meant everything I had told Jasper. I was tired, fed up, and hurt by his obvious lack of trust in both Carlisle and me. Time and time again the stubborn boy had earned himself a sore backside for his temper and overprotectiveness; and I was at my wit's end. I had no idea what to say or do anymore to convince Jasper that he need not react so violently.

I rubbed at my forehead, feeling as though I were getting a headache. I was ready for this day to be over with. First Alice, then Carlisle, and now Jasper; I was furious with all three of them!

I didn't know what had gotten into Alice, but she had crossed several lines today. Her temper had been atrocious, she had been extremely disrespectful and defiant, _and_ she had attacked her father in a fit of rage. _What had she been thinking?!_

Carlisle had been right to step in at this point and rein our feisty daughter in, but he had been much too rough with her. She deserved to be brought down a peg, but after having delivered quite a harsh spanking I couldn't believe he was still going to take his belt to her! And _then_ he had the audacity to-to _order_ me not to interfere! I pursed my lips tightly, keeping down a hiss as my eyes flashed in anger. Carlisle swore to me he would _never_ give me an order as coven leader because I would have no choice but to obey. He _swore _to me!

"What more did Alice do?" a stressed voice asked, and my gaze flicked towards the third and final reason behind my growing headache.

Staring at the boy I pondered over what to tell him before deciding he didn't need to know. If I told him Alice had attacked her father I just knew he would lose what little self control he had and take off for home; and I wasn't so sure I would be able to stop him. As upset as I was with Carlisle, I did not want Jasper to attack him when he found out the punishment Alice had received.

"That is not for me to say, Jasper," I responded diplomatically. "You can ask her when we return home, which will _not_ be happening until I receive a call from your father," I tacked on, giving my son a stern look to hold him in place.

He frowned, clearly unhappy with my response. He bit his lip and furrowed his brow, no doubt pondering over how to respond or convince me to tell him what happened. I waited patiently, fighting back my remaining irritation.

"Is Dad punishin' her for the fightin'?" he finally asked, his tone full of displeasure and disapproval, and I internally sighed. I did not want to lie, but I also knew that if I told him the truth, then he would go ballistic at the thought of his wife having earned herself two spankings. He was bad enough when she was enduring one punishment, I thought grimly.

What should I tell him though? I cannot lie. I will not lie.

I let out a sigh at this point, resisting the urge to rub my temples as I shook my head and responded, "No, she is not."

_"What?!_" Jasper roared in disbelief and outrage, and I tensed, eyeing him warily. "D'ya mean she ain't getting' a lickin' or that she's getting punished for somethin' else?"

"Something else, and before you ask, no, I will not tell you," I responded calmly, although I was far from it. Inwardly I could feel my irritation growing as I felt my son's irritation grow. I had no doubt he was influencing me, but I also had no doubt that a lot of that irritation was my own.

"This is ridiculous, Mama!" Jasper cried out furiously. "What could mah Alice have done ta have earned herself another punishment? Is Dad gonna let the fightin' slide?"

"He will not let the fighting slide," I informed him, choosing to ignore the first question as I had already told him he would have to ask Alice.

A fierce growl escaped from my soldier at this point, and I watched as he gnashed his teeth together and curled his hands into fists. His eyes were closed, and to his credit I could tell he was attempting to bring himself under control. It clearly wasn't working though, because the next words out of his mouth were, "This just ain't right! I've got ta go home, Mama! Alice needs me!" He stared at me with pleading eyes full of concern and anger, and although my heart went out to him, I did not give in.

"Son, my answer is no," I told him quite firmly. "What Alice needs is for you to keep yourself out of trouble. She will need you when her punishment is over, and she will need you calm and supporting. She does not need you to defend or protect her, and she most definitely does not need you to be running on home with some half-brained notion that she is being abused and mistreated!" I could not help but finish loudly.

Jasper's face went blank at my words, but I could literally feel his anger at this perceived injustice. He truly believed I did not understand. He truly believed that I would allow my husband to abuse one of my children.

"Jasper Lee Cullen, I want you to listen to me and listen closely, young man," I addressed him strictly, and his darkening eyes flicked straight towards mine.

"Alice is in absolutely no danger. She is being given a more than deserved punishment, and I assure you that she will be absolutely fine when all is said and done. Right now I implore you to think before you act anymore rashly than you already have. Remember the spankings you have received from your father. Have you ever felt abused, slighted, or mistreated? Have you ever felt him to be unfair with you? Have you truly so little faith in the man you have considered a father for over half a century? Have you truly so little faith in me?" I questioned him, allowing him to feel my hurt. "You know my past. You know how I feel about abuse, so do you really believe I would allow any of my beloved children to experience such a thing? Carlisle is my husband and mate, but I believe I have already proven that I will step up to the plate and take him to task if I feel he has overstepped himself, have I not?"

I stopped speaking at this point, feeling some relief that my empathic son seemed to truly be thinking over what I had said instead of just lashing out. I had to remind myself that ordinarily Jasper was quite mature and level-headed, unlike my brooding Edward or devil-may-care Emmett. Jasper could usually be reasoned with quite easily, well, at least when Alice was not involved.

I could understand the need to defend your mate and to do everything in your power to keep them from harm, I really could. It was instinctual, in our nature to protect and defend our mate from anything that could be perceived as a danger. We all felt this, even Carlisle and me, but no one took things so far as Jasper. In fact, the first time Jasper had felt my husband's belt had been due to him overreacting.

I had caught Alice in a lie and when I had confronted her she had stubbornly refused to admit her fault, becoming belligerent the more I pushed. I had eventually become fed up with her continued lying and had doled out only six swats to curb her attitude. She had let out several yells, but they had been more out of surprise and frustration than from pain. Jasper, who had been in the house at the time had gone ballistic at this point, rushing at me and actually tackling me away from Alice and to the floor. Alice, too stunned to do anything, just stood there in shock before Edward shoved Jasper off of me. They were snarling at one another when I rushed to intervene, and that was when I had gotten bitten by Jasper.

Carlisle, Emmett, and Rosalie arrived home precisely at this time, but their presence had not been needed as after biting me Jasper had managed to come to, his eyes widening in horror before he had taken off. Alice, Emmett and Edward had gone after him, Carlisle staying home as he wanted to check me out, not to mention he did not trust himself around his soldier at that moment.

I would like to say Jasper had learned his lesson after the whipping he had received from his father, but only to a certain extent. My son had never again laid a single finger on me out of anger, but he had obviously not quite learned to curb his over protectiveness. He had not resorted to violence since the incident, but if ever there was a moment that would test his restraint, today would be that day. Carlisle would no doubt want to dole out his own little punishment after learning that I had spanked our son, and I didn't want that to turn into something harsher if Jasper did not get a hold of his temper now.

**A/N:** Alright, so as predictable as ever, dear Jasper just can't handle Alice in trouble and Mama just ain't willing to put up with his bs today. What will happen next?

PLEASE REVIEW!


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight

**Warning:** This story contains _disciplinary spanking_ so if this bothers you then don't read or flame

**A/N: **LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE your reviews guys! You all rock! Alright, so here is chapter 6 and as the title suggests it's gonna get a little emotional. Enjoy!

**Chapter 6: Emotional Turmoil**

**Alice's POV:**

I lay on my bed staring into my daddy's loving eyes. He was gently caressing the side of my face wiping away at the last of my tears. My poor bum was burning fiercely, but I knew I'd brought this on myself. I had really lost it today, and I was suddenly feeling extremely guilty and embarrassed. Guilty for the things I had said and most especially for having shoved my mother and bitten my father; and I was embarrassed over how childish I had acted.

"I'm so sorry, Daddy," I apologized, reaching over and _very_ gently grabbing hold of his injured wrist. What had I been thinking? How could I have done this to my own dad? How could I have done something so horrible? Tears once more began to fall from my face, but Dad was having none of that.

"Hey, shhh, shhh," he soothed as he nuzzled his face close to mine. "None of that, Angel, it is all forgiven."

"Nuh uh," I disagreed with a shake of my head. "I-I really h-hurt y-you."

"I know, but it's been forgiven, Alice," he soothed, not denying at all that I'd hurt him. That's how my dad was though. He didn't sugarcoat things for us. If we screwed up he let us know. "You have been punished and I _know_ this will never happen again, right?"

I rapidly nodded my head in agreement as I rushed to assure him. "Never again, I _swear_."

"Good," he responded, placing a light kiss on my forehead, "then there is no need for all these tears. I am not angry with you."

"B-but are you in p-p-pain?" I pressed, tears continuing to fall.

My dad sighed at this point, getting himself up and off the bed before deftly lifting me off the bed as well in a manner that made sure my backside wouldn't touch anything. "Why don't you help me take care of this bite, Ali, so that it can begin to heal?"

"Yes!" I burst out eagerly, wanting beyond anything to assist him. "What can I do to help?"

Dad smiled at my enthusiasm before gingerly beginning to roll up the shirt sleeve on his right arm. He took off the make-shift bandage he wrapped around it and began to examine the wound with the practiced eyes of a physician before looking at me, and that was when I knew what he was going to request of me.

"You want me to seal the wound?" I asked uncertainly, and he nodded his head.

"It would be a great help," he said, and I bit my lip in concern.

"But won't that hurt you?" I asked, not at all liking the idea of causing him more pain.

"Yes, but it is a short-term pain and much better than leaving the wound open like this," he responded calmly. At seeing my continued reluctance he then added, "As it was your venom that caused this, it is your venom that will aid most in healing, not to mention it will also insure minimal scarring."

I stared down at his wound, feeling tears once more as I saw just how terrible the bite was. I wasn't sure if he was really being honest with me or not, but if he was, I knew he could have just done this himself and that he didn't care about scarring or how quickly his wound healed. I also knew that if it wasn't for the obvious guilt I was feeling he wouldn'tve asked this of me at all. He would've endured the slower healing and the scarring because he wasn't one to ask for help. As helpful as Dad was to others, he was always extremely reluctant to seek help for himself as he never liked to appear vulnerable or weak. This made me doubly touched and honored as his request showed not only his love for me, but his trust; which was the harder of the two to gain.

"Okay, Dad, I'll do it," I declared confidently. "Just tell me what to do because I don't want to make things worse."

Dad gave me a proud look before showing me where exactly to bite. "I am going to need you to seal both sides of the wound, and make sure not to bite down too deeply, but don't be too gentle either. You will do just fine, I trust you."

I swelled with pride at his words before giving him a determined nod to reassure him that I would take care of this. Then, lifting his wrist up I allowed venom to flood into my mouth before biting down onto the wound I had caused. I felt as he tensed, giving only a quiet grunt as I sealed his wound as quickly as possible. After several agonizing seconds I released my hold turned over his wrist and repeated the process. When I once more let go I was elated to hear his sigh of relief as well as noting how much better the wound already looked.

"Thank you," Carlisle told me gratefully as he too stared down at the wound. I could see right away by the lack of tightness around his eyes that the pain was not as intense as it had been.

"Let me go get you some bandages," I responded, flashing out of my room and into his, grabbing a roll of gauze and returning. I immediately began to wrap the gauze around the bite, nodding in satisfaction when I was done.

"You make sure to take care of that wound, Mister," I advised. "That means no strenuous activities such as smacking this hand against your poor, very apologetic daughter's behind who loves you very, _very _much," I informed him with a stern look.

My father's smile widened, amusement clear in his eyes as he nodded his head. "Very well, I will take the doctor's orders seriously," he commented, but I had no time to feel relief before he then added with a smirk, "It's a good thing I am ambidextrous."

"Of course you are," I remarked dryly, placing a tender kiss on his wound before releasing my hold. Dad pulled me in for a hug at this point that I wholeheartedly returned.

"I love you, Dad," I whispered into his shirt.

"I love you too, Alice," he replied, placing a kiss on the top of my head. I soaked in all his love and comfort, allowing those feelings to soothe and comfort me. I knew things weren't over yet. Dad was going to make me talk about what had happened in Biloxi, and if that wasn't hard enough, we had yet to hit upon what had happened at school today. It would be wishful thinking to believe that the whipping I had just received, however harsh it had been had anything to do with my having attacked Cassie. No doubt I was still due another spanking, and that thought caused me to begin to tremble. My bottom was on fire, and I couldn't imagine having to endure anything else, at least not for a week or so; but I wasn't sure Dad would give me that.

"What's wrong?" Dad asked in concern, and I looked up at him with mournful eyes.

"Are you still going to be spanking me for what happened at school today?" I asked, holding onto a dim hope that I was wrong.

Dad let out a sigh before giving me a serious look. "Yes," he replied simply, knowing that I had already known the answer and that no further explanation was needed. Nevertheless I couldn't help but to try and change his mind; so, groaning out loud I gave him the most pitiful, wide-eyed, mournful look I could muster.

"Daaaaddddyyy," I whined, "Please, please don't spank me again. I'm so sore I'll never sit again. I can't take another spanking."

Carlisle's eyes were gentle and understanding, but his face was unyielding, so I knew my pleading was for naught.

"Alice," he spoke softly, "I will not let this incident slide especially due to the severity of the attack, your lack of remorse, and the fact that you were expelled. Depending on how cooperative you are in our upcoming discussion that will determine how long I will give you to recover. As it stands," he rushed to add before I could open my mouth in protest, "I will give you the rest of today and tomorrow. If you cooperate I will give you another two days, and if you do not, we will take care of this tomorrow evening, is that clear?"

I bit my lip, glad that I had the chance to get a few days, but worried that I may not be able to keep hold of my temper and such take the spanking tomorrow night.

"Alice," Dad pressed when I failed to respond, and I gave him a nod, answering, "Very clear."

"Good," he replied. "Now, I'm sure you won't mind, but I feel we can continue this conversation at a later time. I need to speak with your mother, and I'm sure Jasper will be anxious to see you."

I froze at his words, a multitude of thoughts and feelings rushing through me. Jasper, I thought sadly. I'd treated him so horribly as of late. I'd just been so angry with him since the trip to Biloxi, but right now I couldn't quite remember why. All I could think about was how I wanted him with me right now, and how I wanted him to hold and comfort me. I wanted to apologize, and I didn't want to fight anymore. I didn't want to be distant , and I just really wanted everything to go back to the way it used to be.

"Are you alright?" I heard my father ask, and I was just about to reassure him when a vision came to me that caused me to groan out loud in distress and exasperation.

"Alice, what is it? What's wrong?" Dad questioned worriedly, and I held up a hand while I tried to figure out if my involvement would make things any better. A changed vision hit me and I winced. Yes, my showing up would only worsen the problem.

Turning towards Dad with sad eyes, I said, "Jasper knows and he's not happy. Mom is trying to reason with him, but it's not going to work."

Dad tensed at my words, standing up straight and clenching his jaw shut. He remained like that for a few seconds before letting out a tired sigh. "Thank you for the warning, sweetheart, will you be accompanying me?"

I shook my head negatively. "I'll just make things worse," I admitted sadly, closing my eyes as a vision of what my husband was about to experience came to mind. When I opened my eyes, Dad was staring at me knowingly. "I take it my presence will make things worse as well," he surmised, and I gave a grim nod.

Dad gave a terse nod before gently saying, "He needs to learn curb this attitude, Alice. He cannot be allowed to lose his temper any time you are being chastised."

"He's gotten better," I feebly attempted to defend, but Dad just raised an eyebrow at me so I let out a sigh.

"I will send your mother to you," he informed me before placing a kiss on the top of my head as he brought me in for a hug.

"M'kay," I responded sorrowfully, and as my dad went to leave I quickly grabbed hold of his arm, unable to stop myself from pleading my husband's case. "Please don't be too hard on him, Daddy. Things haven't exactly been…great between the two of us, and he's been under a lot of stress, worrying himself sick over me, and I"… I trailed off, knowing before I finished that my words had no effect. I mean, it wasn't as though extenuating circumstances had saved my poor rear today.

Dad's eyes were soft though as he replied, "I will give him no more than he deserves."

I nodded, knowing that was the best I was going to get, and as he left my room I couldn't help but think, 'Good luck, Jasper.'

**Jasper's POV:**

My body was tense, every muscle coiled and ready to spring into action. Anger, no, _fury_ coursed through me like a hot flame, and all I could see was red.

She was lying. She had to be lying because there was no damn way Carlisle would ever take a belt to _my wife_! No damn way in hell!

My body trembled, my fists tightening as my jaw clenched.

There was nothing, absolutely _nothing_ that Alice could have done to have deserved such a beating! _Nothing!_

A snarl escaped me and I openly glared at the woman across from me.

She glared right back, a spike of anger flashing through her as she yelled, "You do not snarl at me, young man!"

"I can do whateva I want," I snapped back heatedly, and Esme's anger increased two-fold. "What did Alice do?" I demanded.

Esme glared back at me with extreme disapproval as she pursed her lips. She was holding her tongue, I could tell, keeping herself from saying anything she would regret. I had already gotten her to slip about Alice's punishment so I was hoping continued pushing would get her to slip what she'd done. I didn't care about any consequences for myself. All I cared about was Alice.

"I _said,_ what the hell did Alice do?!" I roared hotly, seething when she continued to remain silent.

Screw this, I thought furiously. I'm going to see Alice and I don't care what she thinks. Alice needs me! Mind made up I turned towards home, ready to take off only to freeze in astonishment when I saw Carlisle standing a few feet away, his arms crossed and a foreboding look on his face as he stared at me.

When the hell did he get here? I thought wildly. Had I been so absorbed in my anger that I had failed to notice his arrival? Damn Whitlock, I cursed myself! Get yer head on straight, boy, cuz yer slippin'! How could ya not have heard his arrival? A stunt like this woulda gotten ya killed in Maria's coven!

I was so caught off guard by his arrival that I momentarily forgot my anger with him, and it wasn't until Mom asked, "How is she?" that it rapidly came back to me.

"Just fine," he replied softly, his eyes never leaving mine. "She would like to see you," he added offhandedly, briefly flashing his wife a look before returning his eyes towards mine.

Esme sighed, giving me a disappointed look before walking towards her mate. "I don't know how to get through to him," she told him in frustration. "He won't listen to reason. I spanked him for trying to manipulate me, but it seems to have had no effect."

Carlisle's eyes narrowed, boring into mine as he gave a single nod of understanding. "I will take care of this," he said simply.

Esme frowned, looking between me and her husband. Her emotions were more sad now than angry, and more tired than frustrated. She gave me one last disappointed look, gazed at her husband for a few seconds before taking off.

I did not follow her departure as my eyes were focused solely on Carlisle's. He did it. He hurt Alice. He took a belt to her. I gritted my teeth tightly, my hands clenched into fists, and my lip curling back from my teeth.

"_What_ did ya do to _my_ Alice?!" I demanded in anger, and he calmly responded, "I spanked her."

"With yer belt!" I accused, my body once more trembling from the rage I was feeling. Carlisle just raised an eyebrow before giving a single nod. His nonchalant behavior did nothing to calm me. If anything it was just making me angrier as I felt he didn't care about what he had done.

"Do ya got nuthin ta say then?" I asked in outrage. "Nuthin' ta defend yerself?"

Carlisle raised both eyebrows at my words before giving a minute frown. "I have nothing to say and no need to defend myself," he answered with continued calm.

"You bastard!" I snarled furiously. "You _dare_ hurt my mate and then act like ya ain't done nuthin' wrong?!"

I felt a strong spike of anger flare up in him, and I gave a smirk of satisfaction. His calm countenance was gone and his frown was prominent as he narrowed his eyes at me. "Watch yourself, _Boy,_ before you say anything more that you will regret," he warned silkily.

I growled lowly at his referral to me as a boy. "I ain't no _boy_, I am a _man_!" I yelled with a stomp of my foot. "You got _no damn right_ to lay a single finger on my mate and if you eva even _think_ of doin' so again I will hurt"— I never got to finish my threat because in less than a blink of an eye Carlisle was right in front of me, gripping me by the collar of my shirt and hauling me up so that his face was mere inches from mine.

"_You will do what?_" he questioned in a quiet, dangerous tone that chilled me to the bones. His darkening eyes stared straight into me and I felt as though he was reading my every thought.

"I-I-I'll, um, I will…," I swallowed nervously, my mind suddenly going blank as I tried desperately to hold on to my rapidly dwindling bravado. I stared into the furious eyes in front of me and felt my flight or fight instinct begin to kick in. The man in me being too prideful to run away like a coward, I made the thoughtless decision to roughly slap the man's hand away from me while screaming, "Get your goddamned hands off o' me!"

I regretted my words and actions instantly; my body freezing as I stared at Carlisle. His emotions were at first furious, but that was quickly stamped down and overshadowed by mounting disappointment and exasperation. I could tell he was fed up. I could tell he was tired of my bullshit, and frankly, so was I.

Aww hell, I was acting like some darn teenage gal on her menstrual cycle with the amount of control, or lack of control I had over my emotions. Alice was my life, but she was gonna also be the death of me with the way I went above and beyond the call of duty to protect her even from people that she maybe didn't need to be protected from.

"You done?" my dad asked and I stiffened, barely able to give a nod as he slowly began to walk towards me. The flight or fight instinct kicked in once more, but unlike previously right now I wanted to run, I wanted to run far, far away; also unlike previously I managed to restrain myself this time because I knew that running right now would only make things worse…and from the look on Dad's face things were already bad enough.

"Anything else you want say?" he then asked, and I just shook my head negatively finding it extremely difficult to maintain eye contact with him the nearer he got.

"Are you sure? You were quite the chatterbox a few moments ago," he commented much too casually. "Please do not stop on my account. By all means speak up, buckaroo."

Embarrassment swept through me and I finally could not help but to look down at my feet in shame. A loud snap of fingers though immediately caused my eyes to flick back up and I swallowed nervously at the stern, nearly cold gaze of my father.

"Well?" he prompted, and I held back a grimace as I realized he was waiting for my response.

"No sir, I'm done now. I got nothin' more ta say," I informed him in a near whisper.

"Hmmm," was all the man said as he slowly began to circle around me. I automatically straightened myself up, standing at attention with my hands clasped behind my back as I stared straight ahead. He made two full circles at an agonizingly slow pace and my uneasiness increased with every second. Carlisle was not a violent man and more often than not I thought of him as way too human and _tame_ to really be a vampire, but it was times like this that I remembered how wrong I was. He was a vampire through and through and it never showed more than when he was protecting his family or…or putting one of his rebellious, upstart kids in their place; and unfortunately for me I just happened to be one of those rebellious, upstart kids.

He was standing right, and I do mean _right_ in front of me now and I had to keep from cringing or shifting around nervously as I waited to see what he would do or say. I wouldn't have been surprised at all if he'd decided to just wallop me here and now.

"Have you calmed down sufficiently enough to have a civil conversation?" Dad questioned me in a tone that belied none of his emotions. In fact, if I had to gander a guess I was figurin' that he was keeping a tight lid on his emotions because I knew that he couldn't be anywhere near as calm as he seemed.

"Yes sir," I answered in forced calm using all my willpower to keep my emotions on a lid. I didn't want to accidentally influence Dad's emotions, but more importantly I didn't want him to know how unsettled he had me with nuthin' more than a few words and looks. It was times like this where I truly worried about what this family life had done to me. I used to be a fierce warrior, second in command to one of the largest vampire armies in the south. My name used to bring fear into the eyes of any who heard it, and I was afraid of no one except Maria. I was a man, a leader, strong and proud, but now…now I wasn't any of that anymore. I-I, well, I'd been _tamed_ I couldn't help but think in disgust. I was a just a boy in charge of nuthin', feared by none, and quivering in fear over the thought of a simple lickin'. What in tarnations had happened ta me? When had I fallen so low?

"What am I going to do with you, Jasper?" my father spoke aloud, and I said nothing as I wasn't sure if the question as rhetorical or not.

"Huh, Jasper?" he pressed, crossing his arms, his right hand rubbing his chin in a thoughtful manner.

"Sir?" I asked hesitantly, unsure if he was really askin' my opinion.

"_What_ am I going to do with you, Jasper?" he repeated with more emphasis, his dark eyes riveted on mine. "This is _far_ from the first time we have had this discussion, and quite frankly my lad I don't know what to do."

I stared at the man, taken aback that he was actually asking my opinion. He raised an impatient eyebrow and I hastened to reply. "I, uh, well I guess…I mean…I suppose I earned myself a good and proper hidin'," I eventually managed to say, findin' it difficult beyond belief to make eye contact. I felt so ashamed of myself right now. What kind of sissy was I that I couldn't even look my father in the eye?

My self castigation was cut short when I heard the word, "No," escape from Dad's mouth.

"_What?_" I couldn't help but gasp in confusion, my shock allowing me to finally look at him.

"No," he repeated simply, and I still couldn't help how dumbfounded I felt. What did he mean? No doubt noticing my continued confusion he thankfully elaborated. "No, Jasper, I don't believe that idea will work with you." I blinked, unable to comprehend what he meant. He wasn't going to spank me? After all that I'd done?

"How many times in all the years we have known each other have you been spanked for your tendency to overreact when Alice is in trouble?" Dad asked, and I frowned looking down briefly at my shoes before looking back up.

"I don't know," I whispered, beginning to understand what he was getting at.

"I don't know either," Dad stated, "and that is why I won't be doing it. I feel you are more than deserving, of course, but I am against abusing my children and spanking you when I know it will do _absolutely nothing_ to curb your attitude does not sit well with me."

"What do ya plan on doin' then?" I questioned, somewhat surprised with myself that I felt no relief over not getting my butt busted.

Dad was just staring at me again and when I started to get nervous he finally began to speak. "You have yet to utter a single apology or explanation for your behavior. You disrespected my wife, _your mother_ by trying to manipulate her, yelling at her, and _snarling_ at her. You disrespected me by your accusations, your demands, and your _threat_. I know you, son. You pride yourself on being respectful and while this is far from the first time you have lost your temper, this is the first time I have sensed no remorse from you at all. Not a single apology has escaped from your lips which leads me to believe your calm behavior right now is simply a result of me having frightened you." He said all this calmly, with no hurt or anger in his voice, which I would've expected. He sounded as though he had been making an observation on the weather rather than on me. I listened in surprise to his words until his last statement, which caused my pride to take over.

"Ya didn't scare me at all," I informed him, my chin raised up in defiance as I stared into his eyes.

"And that is all you got from my words," Dad mused quietly, giving a shake of his head as he looked away from me; and that was when I finally began to feel some real emotions from him. I felt his disbelief and disappointment, and while I didn't like those emotions I did feel that knowing what he was feeling was better than not knowing.

"No, I did hear the rest," I refuted quickly. "I am sorry," I said, "I'm sorry for"—but I didn't get to finish my statement because without even looking at me my father had waved his hand, cutting me off before turning his back on me. His disappointment was mounting with every second as was his anger. I shifted nervously from one foot to another. His behavior was really throwing me for a loop as he wasn't acting anything like I expected. Truthfully I had expected him to have tanned my hide by now after I'd attempted to threaten him.

I was broken from my musings when Dad abruptly turned around and stated, "We're done here. Let's go home."

I should've been relieved. I mean, it looked as if I was getting off scot free, note even a real lecture or anything; however, all I really felt was shock followed by hurt and a bit of fear.

"What d'ya mean we're done here?" I questioned, panic welling up inside of me.

"I mean I am not in the right frame of mind to continue this conversation, and frankly, I don't think you are either. I believe we both need some time apart to reflect," he informed me, his emotions once more becoming detached as he gave me a blank look.

"Reflect? What do ya need to reflect about? Let's talk! Say, do whatever you want, I can take it," I stated emphatically. I was feelin' frightened. This wasn't the way this was supposed to go. Dad didn't just say things like 'we're done' before anythin' had been settled. He was supposed to be lecturing me, making me feel guilty, and then settin' my tail on fire. He-he wasn't s'posed to be walkin' away and-and washin' his hands of me as though he'd given up on me. I wasn't a lost cause! He couldn't be givin' up on me!

My father's eyes narrowed before he gave a snort and a disbelieving shake of his head. My anger flared at his actions. "We're going home now, Jasper. No doubt you are anxious to see Alice." And with that he turned his back on me and began to walk away. I was breathing heavily now, panicking as I thought this was it. Had I ruined things? Had I gone too far? Did he no longer care about me? He said spankings no longer worked on me. Did that mean he was going to send me away?! He wouldn't do that, would we? He couldn't do that!

My fear had kicked up several notches by now, but as was my usual, my anger began to take control. Once again it was my fight or flight response, and I was ready to fight. If he didn't want me anymore, if he didn't care, well then I was going to make him say it. I wasn't going to wait around for him ta kick me out.

"Hey! Where ya goin, we ain't done here!" Carlisle immediately froze, his muscles tensing as a very low, warning growl escaped him. I could feel his anger simmering near boiling point and although the logical part of my mind was telling me to shut up and stop pushing, the emotional part of my mind was hurting and wanting to lash out; so I pushed away my fear of the consequences by allowing his anger to influence mine.

"Carlisle!" I shouted furiously, "I'm talkin' to ya so the least ya could do is turn around and _look _at me!" I waited impatiently for an entire minute, gritting my teeth, clenching and unclenching my fists, and shifting from one foot to another. My nerves were frayed, my mind buzzing so loudly no real coherent thoughts were registering with me. I was all emotions, ready to erupt like some ragin' volcano. He was ignoring me. He was _deliberately ignoring me_! He claimed to care! He claimed to _love me_ and here he was brushing me aside like I was nothing but a nuisance!

"Alright Carlisle, you listen here, you got no right, _no damn right_"—

"No right to _what, _Jasper? _No right to what?!_" Carlisle burst out as he whirled around to stare at me with dark, obsidian eyes. I knew I had pushed too much, so I was surprised that he hadn't taken me in hand yet; but I wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. If he wanted to know what I was thinking, then I was going to let loose.

"No right to ignore me! No right to turn yer back on me and just-just walk away like I'm some effin' lost cause!" I spat out, glaring at him in anger and hurt. His mouth was open with a readied retort, but as he registered my words it slowly closed shut, his eyes widening in shock.

"Is that what's bothering you right now?" he finally asked in astonishment. "You think I'm tired of you—that I no longer wish to have you as a son?"

I answered with a single nod, my body trembling from all the emotions I was attempting and failing to control.

His expression and feelings were disbelieving, uncomprehending, frustrated, exasperated, and even hurt. He closed his eyes briefly and pinched the bridge of his nose, one of his tell-tale signs of stress. After several tense moments he opened his eyes and walked until he was only a few steps away from me. I wondered why he didn't stand right in front of me, but then I realized it was for both of our benefits. He could see and feel my emotional state as well as I could his. Neither one of us was doin' well and he didn't want to chance us influencin' each other more than necessary, and he didn't want things ta get ugly.

"Jasper, you are my son," Carlisle began simply, his eyes locked securely on my own. "You are not some object that one will discard when they grow bored with it. You are not some stray who I took in because I felt sorry for you. You are not some soldier in an army where disobedience could lead to banishment. You. Are. My. _Son._" His voice was calm and quiet, yet it was brimming with restrained emotions.

"I didn't bring you into this world, human or vampire, but that doesn't matter, Jazz," he remarked, and I felt warmth spread at his words. There was always a part of me that felt jealous of Emmett, Rosalie, and Edward because of the tie they had to Carlisle. He changed them. His venom flowed through them, but not through Alice or me. We weren't his…or at least that's what I thought sometimes; and sometimes I wondered whether he thought the same thing. I wondered whether he regretted inviting me into the family.

"You are my son," he repeated, "And that is not just something that can be ended or thrown away like a used piece of garbage. We are a part of each other for all eternity whether you like it or not. It doesn't matter if one day you decide to leave us, or if you decide to no longer see me as your father because my feelings will _never_ change. You will _always_ be my son, and I will _always_ love you." He stopped speaking, his all-knowing eyes searching my face for what I was feeling and thinking. I was searching too.

"So, you ain't gonna ask me to leave?" I had to ask. "Yer not fed up with all my bull?"

Dad stared at me with increasing hurt as though my questions had been physical blows. "No Jazz, I am not going to ask you to leave, and no, I am not fed up with you."

I found myself letting out a shaky breath, my shoulders drooping with an overwhelming amount of relief. "Oh, well, okay then," I found myself responding. It was a ridiculous response after all he had said, but it was really all I could get out. My dad noted my actions and gave a nod at my declaration, but his emotional state did not improve. The frustration, concern, confusion, and hurt were still there.

"Where did this come from?" Dad suddenly pressed, and now I was concerned as I could hear desperation in his tone. "Why the sudden fear? Or have you been feeling like this for a while?" I opened my mouth, but I really had no explanation. My mind was a jumbled mess of thoughts. I didn't know where this had all come from. I didn't know how we'd gotten from me bein' furious with him for having spanked Alice to me accusing him of wanting me to leave.

"I dunno," I responded, giving him a helpless look. I wished I could answer the question because he looked like he really wanted, no, _needed_ to know. I wondered at the desperate, urgent look on his face, in his tone, and in his emotions, but I could come up with no explanation. As I watched him watch me I could tell there was something he wanted to say. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before letting out a defeated sigh as he ran a hand through his hair. I noticed for the first time a white bandage wrapped around his wrist, but before I could even contemplate the meaning behind it, he was speaking.

"You alright now, son?" he asked me worriedly.

"I—yeah, I guess…I mean, yes, I'm fine," I answered lamely, knowing that my response contradicted my words. "I just got a lot goin' on in my mind right now and I'm not sure…," I trailed off, giving a shrug as I grimaced lightly.

Dad seemed to understand what I was saying though for he just pressed his lips and nodded his head absentmindedly. "Yes, I know how you feel," he remarked tiredly. "Are you ready to head home or is there anything else you would like to discuss right now?"

"Home," I responded immediately, feeling a sudden and urgent need to see Alice. Now that my immediate fear of being banished from my family was out of my head, I was overwhelmed with worry for Alice. She'd not only been spanked, but she'd been spanked with that dreaded belt. I knew how much that thing hurt, and I just couldn't stomach the thought of my sweet, darlin' Alice having to endure something so harsh. A flash of anger on her behalf once more flooded through me, but I stomped it down as now was not the time. I needed to get to my wife, and we really needed to sort things out.

"Home it is," Dad replied and we both began to run. We said nothing to each other, both no doubt lost in our own thoughts. The house was just coming into view when my father broke the silence, tapping my shoulder to get me to slow down to a walking pace. I gave him my attention.

"I am letting you know now, Jasper, that we have not finished our discussion. As I said earlier, I believe we both need some time to reflect before dealing with your disrespect," he informed me quite seriously. I stiffened slightly before giving a single nod of understanding. I was just turning away from him when he grabbed hold of my bicep gently yet firmly.

"Listen closely," he ordered very quietly, so quietly that the occupants in the house would not hear. "While I have decided not to spank you for your over protectiveness regarding Alice, that does not mean I won't do so in regards to disrespect or defiance. Bear that in mind, my dear soldier as you contemplate your actions from earlier today."

I nodded my head, fighting the urge to look away as I recalled all the shouting I had done at both him and my mother.

"Is everything alright out here?" a voice suddenly asked, and I glanced up to see Mom walking towards us, a wary yet concerned look on her face.

"Everything is just fine," Dad answered, but Mom barely spared him a glance before zeroing her gaze on me. I was surprised at the action and the sudden tension I felt that I knew had nothing to do with me. What was going on?

"I'm alright, Mama," I informed her. She walked up to me and caressed my cheek softly, looking me up and down as if to confirm my words. I grasped her hand in mine and gave it a gentle kiss before saying, "I'm sorry for the horrible way I've been actin'. Yer my mother and I've been more than a might bit disrespectful with ya, and I am very ashamed of myself. I had no right to speak to ya in the way that I did, or to try and manipulate ya. You didn't deserve it, and I promise it won't happen again,' I assured her.

"Oh Jasper," my mother sighed, wrapping her arms around me in a motherly embrace. I happily accepted the comfort, relishing in the security and love I felt coming from her. When we broke apart she put her hands on either side of my face as she said, "You've already been punished for the manipulation and I'm sure Carlisle has dealt with the rest, so consider it all forgiven"—

"No ma'am, he hasn't," I interrupted with a shake of my head. Mom blinked, giving me a look of surprise. She gave a furtive glance to her husband before turning back to me.

"What do you mean he hasn't?" she questioned in confusion.

"I mean I haven't been punished," I responded. "I got angry and started shoutin' stupid stuff at Dad, and it all got a bit out o' control. Dad thought it'd be best if we just came home and spent some time reflectin' on what happened before decidin' on my punishment."

Mom looked taken aback, and I wasn't surprised. Any other time, the attitude I had displayed earlier would have earned the recipient a good lickin', no questions asked; but now, well, now my papa was conflicted on somethin'. He was unsure, and I didn't like it. I didn't like the unknown. This is part of the reason I thought he was gonna ask me to leave. But I didn't want ta think about that now.

"Well," Mom eventually said, "then why don't you head on inside. Alice desperately wants to see you. She told me she has much to discuss with you," she told me, and my eyes lit up at the thought of Alice finally opening up to me.

I rapidly kissed my mother's cheek, thanking her for informing me. Before I rushed off though, I once more apologized for my behavior before all too happily running into the house. There was something serious going on between my parents because the tension had been thick. Mom had barely looked at Dad, and I had felt a certain frostiness in the air.

Oh well, I thought, I'd have to think more on that later, but right now I had more important matters to be thinking on, like Alice and…and why the hell our broken door was in the hallway along with a broken lamp, a shoe, and…I stood in our doorway and my jaw dropped. My room was completely trashed, broken dressers and ripped clothing. The only thing still standing was the bed, where currently my wife was laying on it looking up at me with her beautiful smile. It seemed like forever since she'd last smiled at me like that.

"Hi Jazzy," she greeted, and despite the state of the room or the stress I was under I couldn't help but smile back.

**A/N:** Soooooo, this chapter didn't turn out anything like I'd originally planned. In fact, because of this chapter Jasper's portion went from minor to major. Without my realizing it, it seems Jazz has got some pent up issues as well, and poor Carlisle was completely blindsided (not to mention me as well). Now both our blonde boys are emotional wrecks so I felt it best to give them some time apart before either one of them lost their temper. Let's give Jasper some time to comfort and receive comfort from Alice, and let's give the Cullen parents some time to talk things out. And yeah, Mama Cullen is not in the best of moods. PLEASE REVIEW!


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: ** I unfortunately do not own Twilight. Too bad cuz I could use the money…yup.

**Warning:** This story contains _**disciplinary spanking**_, so if this bugs you, then find something else to read.

**A/N: **First off, as always, THANK YOU to all you readers and reviewers! You guys make this all worthwhile!

Now, we're gonna be focusing on the parents. Carlisle finally starts to realize how badly he's messed up, and Esme isn't happy.

**Chapter 7: Conflict**

**Carlisle's POV:**

My mind was reeling, a cacophony of thoughts and emotions running through me that threatened to topple me over. What had happened? Jasper, my hardened soldier had thought I was going to abandon him. He thought I was going to banish him. How? Why? _Where_ had this come from? He was the second child today to beg me not to leave them, not to abandon them. Where…

I froze, images of Edward, Bella, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice flashing through my mind. Oh. _Oh God._

I was a complete and utter fool! How could I have not foreseen this? How could Jasper and Alice's fears have caught me so unawares when in their eyes I had done nothing but abandon my children these last few months?

Oh God, what have I done? Through my actions we had abandoned our most vulnerable child. We had left her behind without even saying goodbye. I had yet to check up on her, or to even give her much thought as the pain her absence caused was too much for me to bear. Was she fairing well? Was she suffering as Edward was?

Edward suffered greatly because of his decision and yet I had failed to console him. His despair over the loss of his mate had caused him to leave, and I had yet to even look for him. I had abandoned him to his suffering. I had failed him. I should have been helping him, shaking the misery out of him and convincing him of what a mistake he had made in choosing to leave Bella.

I had allowed Emmett and Rosalie to leave, knowing they left mostly to escape the negative emotions and atmosphere of our home, our family. Emmett was torn. He loved Bella, but he loved his mate as well, and she had pushed for us to leave. His loyalty was first and foremost to his mate, but he would hurt because he felt he had abandoned his sister. Rosalie was hurt by Emmett's hurt. She knew what he was thinking; and she would be hurt by all our suffering. As cold hearted as she could seem, Rosalie loved our family and could not stand to see us suffer. I had not helped them and so they had left. I had no idea when they were coming back, or if they were coming back at all.

Alice. Jasper. My two remaining children had been suffering these past few months and I had made minimal efforts to help them, convinced they would seek me out. I had not realized—I had not considered that they may no longer trust me. I had not considered how my actions would have seemed to them, how weak and uncaring I must seem. Alice has suffered greatly over her human past and Jasper has suffered along with her, yet I let them be. _I did nothing_.

Esme, my dear, sweet, loving Esme. I had left her alone in this also. She had lost four of her children in the span of a couple months, and the two that remained were clearly unhappy. She had not wanted to leave Forks, to leave Bella. I had been the one to convince her. I had been the one to assure her that everything would be just fine, and that it would all work out. How wrong I had been. Nothing was fine. Nothing was working out.

I had been so damn selfish. I had been so wrapped up in my own despair and guilt that I had abandoned my family to their own personal demons. I had failed as a husband, a father, and as a leader. My family was in shambles, and I'd done nothing as of yet to fix it.

I understood now why both Alice and Jasper had feared being abandoned. I felt so ashamed. What had I done? How could I have allowed things to come to this? Where had my head been? We never should have left Forks! I was such a fool! How could I have allowed my panicked, teenaged son to dictate my actions? I had catered to his demands like a blithering idiot, and now everyone including him was suffering the consequences. I was the father. I was supposed to be in charge. I was supposed to know best, but I had failed, I had failed miserably.

I closed my eyes and gripped a fistful of my hair as I fought back tears of frustration and guilt. Now was not the time for tears. I had to be strong. I had to fix the damage I had inadvertently caused. It was time I stepped up and put this family back together.

"What happened with Jasper?" Esme asked, breaking me out of my reverie. We were far enough away from the house now that the children and we could have some privacy. I was leaning against a tree as I heard the question, and I opened my eyes, focusing them on my wife. Her face was guarded, and I withheld a sigh of exhaustion as I knew this meant she was upset with me. She maintained her distance, making no effort to offer me any of the comfort I so desperately needed. That was fine though. This was my punishment, and I deserved every bit of it.

"As you no doubt anticipated, he lost his temper with me," I began softly, regaling her with every little detail of what happened. I told her everything Jasper said, everything I said, and every emotion I gleaned from the boy.

"I realized that Jasper's wild emotions confused not only me but him as well, which is why I suggested we take some time apart," I explained. "I want to give him some time to process through his thoughts and emotions, and I feel he will be more apt to do that once he sees for himself that Alice is just fine." I looked down at my bandaged wrist, gently rubbing at it as it still ached. Alice had done an excellent job of sealing the wound, but it was still sore and would be for several more days.

"Why didn't you spank him?" Esme then asked confusedly.

"I'm not one to beat a dead horse, Esme," I responded with a wry grin, and she clearly did not understand for she gave me first a befuddled look before narrowing her eyes. Ugh, she obviously thought I was playing with her. I sighed internally before deciding to expand lest I make things any worse.

"We have both spanked Jasper more times than I care to remember for his lack of control any time Alice is punished," I told her. "Every time he has promised to do better, and to get a control of his temper, but time and time again he has failed. A good sound spanking usually does the trick for our crazy lot, but in this case I don't think it will. I don't want to spank Jasper if I already know it will have no effect. It would feel like abuse to me."

My wife's brow furrowed slightly as she contemplated my words. "I understand where you're coming from, but I am curious as to how you plan on punishing him then? I hate to say it, but Jasper's sense of honor will not let this go. He expects to be punished, and if he isn't then"—

"Then he will question his place in the family, and my love for him, I know," I interjected tiredly, rubbing a hand up and down my face. It was at this point that I informed her of Jasper's accusations and fears, and my reassurances that his fears were unfounded.

Esme looked just as weary as I did at this point as she was rubbing a hand at her forehead. "He honestly thought"—

"Yes," I interrupted once more, not wanting to hear her say the words. "And he is not the only one. Alice too had the same fear after I punished her," I reluctantly admitted, grimacing when I heard Esme's shocked gasp.

"I reassured her as well," I rushed to add, "and I'm fairly certain I got through to her."

Esme looked disheartened and just shook her head at me. "You understand where this is coming from, don't you? You do realize why the children are having this fear, right?" she pressed, and I gave a single nod before looking away.

"Yes, I know," I responded guiltily, unable to maintain eye contact with her. Silence greeted my admittance, an uncomfortable, angry silence. I didn't need to see my wife to know she was angry.

"I told you, Carlisle, I _told you_ that we should never have left Forks," she finally stated, her pain and anger clearly evident in her tone.

"I know," I replied tiredly, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"We abandoned Bella," she continued. "We left our baby all by herself, and for what? Because Edward panicked? Since when did the fears of one child dictate our actions? I told you we were making a mistake, Carlisle, but you didn't listen to me!"

"_I know_," I repeated more firmly, my own anger growing at having to hear this. I already knew all this. I knew I had screwed up. I realized the consequences of my mistakes. I didn't need her to harp on about them. I felt horrible enough as it was without her twisting the knife already embedded in my heart.

"You obviously don't know or you would have listened to me!" my wife snapped back. "You promised me that everything would work out, but look at where we are now. Look! Bella is alone, Edward is who knows where, Emmett and Rosalie are gone, and our two remaining children have been suffering in silence for months! Perhaps you haven't noticed, but _everything is not alright_!

"_I know_!" I hissed furiously, finally turning to face Esme, whose eyes widened at my outburst. "I know the situation we are in. I know what's going on, and I don't need you to tell me! Do you think I am too blind to have noticed what my decisions have led to? I made a mistake Esme, a terrible mistake and it is our children who have suffered the most because of it." I was breathing heavily now, and I turned away from Esme once more as I brought myself back under some semblance of control. Already I was feeling ashamed of how I had reacted. I should not have snapped at her.

There were several minutes of silence, and I impatiently waited for Esme to say something, but when she didn't I finally turned to look at her once more. While I had expected to still see her angry with me, I had not expected to see tears falling down her face.

Heart sinking, I immediately took several steps towards her in an effort to offer apologies and comfort, but she held a hand up stopping me in place.

"Esme," I spoke despairingly, "I'm sorry, love, please forgive me. I will fix this, I swear," I promised her. "I will bring our family back together, do not fear."

She gave no indication of having heard me as she just turned her head and walked a few paces away from me. She presented a pitiful sight, and my heart broke at her obvious suffering and the fact that she would not accept my comfort or reassurances.

It wasn't long before she stopped crying, wiping away at the remnants of her tears in slight embarrassment as she turned back towards me. Every second had been torture, and it had been a fight for me to not just get down on my knees and beg her forgiveness. While I accepted that I had made a grievous mistake, I also knew that I was not the sole blame for the situation we were in. The children were old enough to make their own decisions, and I would not take sole blame for the choices they had made. Edward did not have to run away from this family. He knew he could have come to me. He knew he could have come to his mother. I should have done more to help him, but then again, so should Edward. He made no effort to help himself, instead choosing to suffer. He pushed everyone away and sought out misery. Emmett and Rosalie left to get away from all this turmoil and to help each other. I wished they could have leant on their mother and me for help, but I also understood why they felt they couldn't get the help they needed here. Edward had still been here wallowing in self pity, and Jasper had been in a constant state of guilt, his gift wafting through the house like a poison. Leaving had been the best choice for them. As for Jasper and Alice, they too could have approached their mother or me at any point these past several months. I had made an effort to talk to them, not a good enough one apparently, but I had tried. If they did not trust me, then they should have at least trusted their mother enough to ask for help. There had been no reason for them to suffer alone.

At least, this was what I was trying to tell myself to quell the quickly growing guilt. I wanted to believe I'd done everything I could, or at least made an attempt, but was that the truth?

No, not really.

I withheld an irritable sigh, shaking my head of these thoughts. Now was not the time to be discussing this. Esme was angry with me, that was clear, and while I would gladly accept her ire, I felt now her energies would be of better use in helping our hot-headed teens.

"How was Alice?" I decided to press when she finally looked sufficiently calmed.

Esme pursed her lips as she looked at me with an unreadable expression. She clearly knew I was changing the subject, but she would allow it as like me she knew our children came first. "Alice is just fine. Fine enough that when I left her she was complaining about all the good clothes that had been ruined and trying to convince me to let her replace her entire wardrobe. Funnily enough she made it sound as though all her clothes had been destroyed in some tragedy or through spontaneous combustion."

I let out a sigh, grinning softly. If Alice was well enough to complain about her clothes, then she was alright.

"I told her absolutely not, of course, and she didn't like that," she continued saying, "but I'm not about to reward her for having thrown a tantrum."

I agree, I thought whole heartedly, giving my wife a nod. She was staring at me once more, and I was relieved to note she no longer seemed furious.

"How is your wrist? Alice told me you allowed her to seal the wound," my wife stated, giving me a knowing look. I looked down at my bandaged wrist before giving a light shrug and a sheepish smile as I replied, "I figured it would help her guilt.

Esme smiled as she nodded and said simply, "It did." I smiled back, relieved to know that my show of trust in my angel was able to help her. I felt a twinge of guilt as I recalled Alice's cries. Had I been too hard on her? I was barely beginning to work myself up when Esme changed the subject to a no less stressful topic.

"What are you going to do about Jasper?" she questioned, and I grimaced.

"I don't know," I answered honestly, "I haven't had much time to give it any thought."

"Are you going to let him get away with his temper and treating us so disrespectfully?" she pressed. "That boy knows better than to speak to us in that manner, and he definitely knows better than to threaten you."

"He does," I agreed, once more feeling weariness spread through me.

"If you don't spank him for this, Carlisle, then I will," my wife announced, and I stared at her in open astonishment. She stared back, her face a mask of determination. She was serious. I really didn't know what to say to that. My mind hadn't really been focusing on what Jasper's punishment would be, or even my impending discussion with Alice. I had been too caught up in coming to grips with how one decision could turn out such disastrous results.

"Esme, I'm not sure if a spanking is going to do anything for him. As I mentioned already I've spanked the boy before for his loss of temper and overprotectiveness regarding Alice but it's obviously not done much good," I reminded her wearily.

"Right, _you've_ spanked him several times for this issue, but _I _haven't," she responded as though that made all the difference.

My brow furrowed and I gave her a curious look. "And how is you punishing him going to be any different?"

She gave me a look as though I should already know the answer, and I just sighed rubbing my hand at my forehead. I noted suddenly as my wife's condescending look softened. My heart warmed at the sight. Even when furious with me, she still loved me, and she still was looking out for me.

"If this is too much for you to deal with right now, then just say it," she told me. "You can handle Alice, and I will deal with Jasper."

"No," I responded automatically, still not completely sold on the idea of spanking Jasper. "I'm still not sure that spanking Jasper,"—

"But I am," she interjected strongly. "Look at how you reacted to Alice's disrespect and tantrum. You not only blistered her backside on the spot but you took your belt to her. Jasper exhibited even more disrespect and you've done nothing; _and _you are talking about not spanking him at all. How is that fair to either one of them? Besides, you know how Jasper is. I'm sure that not spanking him will prove more harmful than good to him."

I stifled a groan as I massaged my temples. I could swear I was getting a headache. I really didn't want to deal with all this right now, but my wife was making sense. Jasper needed punishment to be able to move on. He expected a spanking, a severe spanking for his actions. I recalled now the way he had reacted when I had told him I didn't plan on spanking him. He was confused, but also panicked. He didn't understand my reasoning, so in his mind he began to view my lack of punishment as my lack of caring.

Damn. Esme was right. Jasper deserved and needed a spanking. Perhaps Esme spanking him would prove more of a deterrent than when I did…No, what am I thinking? How could I subject my wife to punishing Jasper? That boy would not react well.

"Carlisle," my wife called, and I fixed my gaze on her before saying, "No, I must be the one to deal with Jasper as it was me who he disrespected the worst. I need to impress on him that I am his father, and that he has no right to speak to me as he did today, or to threaten me into giving him what he wants."

My wife smiled briefly at me having given in before shaking her head and arguing, "Jasper should be dealt with today, you know how he gets when left to dwell too long on his misbehavior. He's liable to land himself in more trouble, and you don't look up to the task."

"You've already spanked him once today," I retorted, and she gave a dismissive wave of her hand.

"I gave him a mild spanking over his pants, and I doubt if he feels any discomfort at all now," she countered. "Let me deal with this. I know you feel you should be the one, but if you can spank the children for having attacked me, then I can spank the children for having disrespected you."

I really couldn't fault her logic, but this just didn't sit right with me. I knew how much spanking our children hurt Esme, and I just wasn't sure if she could really go through with this. "Esme," I sighed unhappily, running a tired hand through my hair, "you would have to be hard on him. This volatile behavior of his cannot be allowed to continue, and so this spanking will have to be a memorable one. Can you do that?" I questioned.

Esme raised an eyebrow at me and placed her hands on her hips as she asked back, "I don't know, darling, can I?"

I immediately looked away, groaning as I knew that she was referring to my own chastisement from half a century ago. Yes, that punishment had been quite memorable, so memorable in fact that the mere memory could still cause me to cringe. My wife clearly knew my thoughts for she was smirking at me in triumph. I just shook my head at her, not ready to give in just yet.

"Esme, we are not talking about punishing me, we are talking about punishing your little southern gentleman," I told her. "You used my belt on me, but I know you would never use that object on any of the children, am I right?"

Esme frowned at my words before giving a nod of agreement.

"And as of date, you have only spanked the kids on the bare, what—twice? Three times?" I pressed, and her frown became more prominent as she answered, "Twice."

"I do not mean to belittle you, love," I added kindly, not wanting her to believe for any second I thought her incapable of punishing our lot, "but I know you, and I know how you fret over delivering but a few swats to your babies. You may feel up to the task right now, but what will you do when Jasper begins to cry out? What if he fights you? Will you be able to push on through?"

"I can do this, Carlisle," Esme responded just as determined as before, and my eyebrows rose in surprise. I truly thought I'd had her convinced.

"Tell me something," my wife asked, "if you were to punish Jasper, would you use your belt?"

I furrowed my brow, thinking over her question. My mind went over my boy's actions, and after a few seconds I shook my head negatively. I didn't like to bring out the belt except as a last resort. My soldier's behavior had been way out of bounds, but in comparison to how he used to act when in a temper, his behavior had been rather tame. As enraged as he was, Jasper never once showed any signs of wanting to attack either me or his mother, and that was progress. I relayed my thoughts to Esme, and she nodded her head in agreement.

"I can do this," she repeated, "trust me."

"This is not a matter of trust," I argued weakly, and she just raised an eyebrow as she countered, "Isn't it, though? Carlisle," my wife spoke softly, "I detest physically chastising the kids, you know that, but that doesn't make me incapable. I know you hate it as well, and I see how you suffer. I can see even now the effect Alice's punishment has had on you. Yes, this will be extremely difficult for me, but I will manage just fine."

I sighed, my resolve slipping. "Jasper will be difficult," I argued. "He will push you to punish him harder than he deserves and if you can't get him to realize that he is not in control, he will use your doubt to his advantage. And let's not forget his ability, Esme. He will feel your despair. He will feel how much you are struggling with this, and he could use that against you."

I expected my words to instill doubt in my wife, but if anything her resolve seemed to strengthen, and she gazed at me now with slightly exasperated eyes as if I was the one who did not understand.

"I am well aware of how Jasper will react in a spanking, darling," she spoke in a tone that suggested I was being rather slow. "You forget that I have spanked him before."

"Your punishments with him have always been spur of the moment, never planned, and very little discussion needed," I countered somewhat heatedly, not liking the patronizing tone she had taken with me. I was only looking out for her.

Esme let out a sigh, her expression turning frosty as she continued to speak. "I know my son Carlisle Cullen, and I am more than capable of handling him. I know how he gets when he is feeling stubborn, but he is far from the most stubborn man I have dealt with before." She stared straight into my eyes as she said this, and I knew she was referring to me. "I don't anticipate Jasper to appreciate the fact that I will be delivering his punishment. In fact, I am certain he will fight me and attempt to dissuade me from doing so as he feels I will not be as capable as you or as strong as you. I'm prepared for this. I know how to get him to give up control. I managed with you, didn't I?"

I nodded my head faintly and just stared at my wife in a new light. She was stronger than I gave her credit for. I knew this. I'd seen her inner strength arise on several occasions, but I guess I overlooked those moments. I was so accustomed to being the main disciplinarian that I rarely ever considered asking for Esme's help.

"As for my emotions, well I plan on letting my stubborn cowboy feel them. He needs to know how his actions affect others, so I will make no effort at hiding my disappointment or hurt," she declared with a fierce look.

"Alright," I found myself saying, "You can take Jasper." I continued to stare at my beautiful wife, and I felt a huge upwelling of pride and love for her. My woman was strong. Poor Jasper, I couldn't help but think suddenly. I had a feeling that Esme's punishment will be harder on my soldier than my punishment would have been.

Esme nodded her head at my words before saying, "Very well, I see no use in putting this off. Jasper has had sufficient time to see that Alice is alive and well. Why don't you take Alice out for a hunt while I deal with Jasper?" she suggested.

"I think I should stay so I can help if Jasper gives you any trouble. That boy won't dare challenge you if I'm there," I stated, but Esme just shook her head at me.

"Thank you, love, but no. Jasper and I will be just fine. Trust me, _I can handle him_," she insisted with confidence

I gave my wife a proud, appreciative smile as I finally gave in completely. She just gave me a small smile in acknowledgment before putting on a serious face. She took several deep breaths before turning to head back home. Before she could take off though, I stopped her.

"Esme, wait," I said, taking a few steps towards her. "I'm sorry," I told her spontaneously, and at her questioning look, I expanded. "I'm sorry for earlier with Alice, and I'm sorry for allowing everything to get so out of hand."

She pursed her lips, a flash of anger sparking in her eyes before she replied, "Now is not the time for this. We have more important matters to be dealing with."

I cringed at the suddenly cold look in her eye, and mentally smacked myself for thinking a simple apology would fix the damage I had caused. Esme was more than willing to work with me for the good of the children, but our own issues would have to wait. She would grant me no mercy until at least Alice and Jasper were back to their old, mischievous selves. Giving an internal sigh, I gave her a nod to show my understanding before we both took off for home.

We were about to get within hearing range of the kids when I decided to say one last thing. "If at any point you feel unsure, or if you need me please do not hesitate to call."

Esme glanced at me and gave a nod of understanding before I added seriously, "And I do trust you." Amber eyes snapped back to me, and I was extremely gratified to see them soften as appreciation and relief shown in them. As angry as she was with me, she still valued my opinion above anyone else's, even her own.

**Alice's POV:**

I lay wrapped securely in Jasper's arms, my head resting on his chest, and for the first time in months I started to feel whole again. Not completely whole, but it was as though a large part of me were suddenly put back together. I hadn't realized how badly I had missed my husband until I saw him walk through our broken doorway.

We really hadn't done much talking since he entered the room. We spent more time catching up by soaking in each other's presence and reacquainting ourselves with each other's bodies. I took in a deep breath, inhaling the unique scent of my husband.

"Mmm," Jasper sighed contentedly as he buried his head in my hair. "I've missed ya my southern belle," he stated softly, and I tightened my hold on him, sending out all my love.

"I missed you too," I replied.

"You doin' alright?" he then asked, separating himself enough from me so that he could look me in the face.

"I'm better than I was," I replied honestly, giving him a small smile. He stared back at me with concern, gently caressing the side of my face with the knuckles of his right hand.

"I heard you got acquainted with Papa's leather demon," he remarked much too casually, and I didn't have to be an empath to notice the sudden anger he was feeling. Oh Jasper, I thought sorrowfully, when are you going to learn to curve your over protectiveness? When are you going to learn that our parents will _never_ harm me?

"Yes, I did, and I deserved every bit of it," I informed him firmly, poking my finger into his muscular chest. "And I am not pleased with how you treated Mom and Dad, Major. I more than earned my punishment, and I am more than fine. You know they'd never hurt me, so _why_ do you _always_ have to lose your temper, Jazzy?"

He stiffened, frowning stubbornly as he weakly attempted to defend himself. "I was standin' up for ya, Ali. I know you've been stressed, so I thought"—

I sighed dramatically as I rolled my eyes. "So you thought you'd scream at mom and try to _threaten_ Dad? You thought you knew better than them? You thought they'd _hurt _me?!" I questioned, fighting down my growing irritability. I loved Jasper with all my heart, and I loved how protective he was of me, but I _hated_ that after all these years he didn't seem to trust our parents.

"It ain't like that darlin'," he tried to refute, "I just"—

"You just what?" I interjected sharply, attempting to break away from him.

"No, please don't leave, I'm sorry," he stated quickly, tightening his arms so that I couldn't get away. "I'm sorry Alice, please forgive me."

"What exactly are you apologizing for?" I questioned coolly.

"For everythin," he sighed, looking at me with sorrowful, apologetic eyes. "Sorry for bein' such a horrible husband, for not bein' able to help ya deal with your past; and I'm sorry about blowin' up with Mom and Dad."

I just sighed, unable to stay angry with him, especially with how sad and dejected he was looking. He looked at me with doleful eyes and my heart melted.

"Oh Jazzy, it's fine, I'm not angry with you," I stated, nuzzling my face against his, letting him feel my love for him.

"I have no right to be angry with you anyway," I told him, my emotions turning guilty. "I've shut you out when all you wanted to do was help me. I didn't trust you with the information I found, and there's no excuse for that."

"Don't you worry about that, baby doll. Don't you worry about that at all," he responded, giving me a handsome smile. "These past few months have been the hardest of my life, for both of us, but none of that matters now. All that matters is that we're together, that we're talkin', and that we have each other's trust…right?"

"Of course Jasper," I replied wholeheartedly, wanting as much as he did for our relationship to go back to what it was, or better than what it was.

"I've been a fool," I muttered, burying my head in the crook of his neck, and he shushed me as he caressed the back of my head.

"No ya haven't, you've just been confused," he responded. "Every single one of us have had life times to deal with our pasts, but you found out about your entire human life in the span of a few hours, and it was a horrible past, at least from the little that I heard. You wanting some time to process all this is normal. You having trouble digesting or understanding what happened is also normal, but you don't have ta deal with all this on your own. I will _always_ be there for ya, and so will Dad and Mom."

"I thought ya didn't trust our parents with me," I couldn't help but say snidely, and he immediately turned abashed.

"It's not like that," he said, "I do trust them."

"It doesn't seem like it," I commented, giving him a pointed look.

He groaned, burying his head in my hair before saying, "I trust them to take care of you. They're great parents, I love them to death and I know you do too, but…I just…I mean when they're punishin' you I just feel so darn protective and I can't help it. I can't stand to see them scold you or, god forbid, spank you. My venom just boils at the thought, and I just can't help myself."

"You trust them when they're punishing you," I remarked, but he just sighed, saying in a nearly dismissive manner, "It ain't the same. I'm a guy and I can handle"—

"Oh my god, Jasper, you better not be trying to argue that because you are a _man_ that you can handle more than I can!" I snapped heatedly, pulling away and standing up. He refused to let me get far though as he grabbed hold of my hand. He looked upset with himself as he shook his head.

"That's not what I'm sayin' at all," he protested, running a hand through his blonde curls in frustration.

"You don't seem to have this problem when it's Rosalie being spanked," I argued, giving him a mild glare.

"Rosalie ain't my mate!" he declared loudly, "You are! It's my duty to protect you"—

"But not from our parents!" I shouted, interrupting him for the umpteenth time. "Jasper, both Mom and Dad have spanked me numerous times and have I ever given you any indication that I was abused?"

"No, but Alice, please I'm sorry, I don't know what to say and I don't want to fight with you," he said, standing up and taking both my hands in his. "Please Alice, forgive me."

"I'm not the one you should be asking for forgiveness," I replied, but my gaze and tone had softened as I squeezed his hands.

"I already have, but I will again," he responded earnestly, and I pecked him on the lips before sympathetically saying, "The amount of times you've done this, Dad is going to make sure you don't sit down for a month."

He gave a frown before shaking his head. "Actually, Papa said he wasn't goin' to give me a lickin' cuz it wouldn't work." My eyes widened in surprise, not having seen this outcome. It seemed my husband's future had changed.

"I-I can't understand why he'd say that," Jasper confessed, looking quite woebegone. I looked at him in concern as he recounted what happened earlier, how he'd accused our father of not caring, and how he thought he was being banished.

"Daddy would _never_ in a million years kick you out, no matter what you did, honey," I spoke softly, wrapping my arms around his neck. My poor baby, I thought sadly, my heart aching fiercely at the fear he must have felt.

"I know," he responded in embarrassment. "He told me that too, but I just can't understand that if he's not gonna spank me, then what is he gonna do? I messed up real bad, Alice, so what'd be a worse punishment than a thrashin' if not banishment?"

I have no idea, I couldn't help but think, but I didn't tell him that. "Oh, don't worry so much," I stated, giving him an encouraging smile. "It'll all be just fine. It _always_ is."

"I guess," he mumbled, giving me a wider grin as his love for me wrapped around me like a warm embrace. I smiled in return before deciding to search my husband's future. I wanted to know what punishment awaited him. It concerned me as well that Dad didn't want to spank him for his temper, but…oh wow, now that's interesting.

"What is it?" Jasper questioned, no doubt feeling my sudden shock. "What did you see? My punishment?"

"Uh, well kinda," I responded slowly, wondering if I should warn him. I couldn't believe that _Mom_ was going to be taking over Jasper's spanking. I searched his future a little more to see how he would react, and grimaced at the attitude he would display. He was not going to make this easy for our mother. But why was she the one punishing him? Why wasn't Dad?

"Hey, what is it? What's my punishment going to be?" Jasper pressed, his concern mounting.

"You're getting a spanking," I informed him sadly, deciding to withhold who would be administering the punishment.

My husband tensed, unable to hide the wave of anxiety that flowed through him before his brow furrowed in confusion. "But I thought Dad wasn't goin'"—

"He changed his mind," I explained faintly, beginning to grow distressed with how upset vision Jasper was with having Mom be the one to punish him. Ohhh, why couldn't Dad do it? I tightened my grip on Jasper, suddenly feeling quite protective over my love.

"Hey, hey darlin', I'll be alright," he soothed, giving me a smile. "Nuthin' I haven't experienced before."

We'll see, I thought glumly, wondering if there was some way to convince Dad to punish Jasper, or maybe if I refused to leave then they wouldn't—okay, that was a dumb idea, but I had to do something…and I had better come up with it quickly.

I tensed when I received another vision, this one of Mom and Dad headed here. Jasper pulled me closer, kissing the top of my head as he sent me soothing waves.

Oh Jazzy, I thought sadly, here you are comforting me when it is I who should be comforting you.

"You sure you're alright?" he questioned in renewed concern. "You real sore?"

I gave a light chuckle, staring up into his dark amber eyes. "It'll be a loooonngg time before I can sit down comfortably," I admitted, rubbing my aching bottom.

"I'm so sorry," he murmured, and I just rolled my eyes.

"I brought this on myself," I responded in exasperation.

We could hear our parents coming up onto the porch now when Jasper finally asked me, "What happened today, Ali? What did ya do to earn Papa's belt? Mama mentioned ya got into a fight with some gals at school," he remarked, his expression a good bit perplexed.

I let out another laugh, but this time there was no real humor in it. "I'll tell you about it later," I said, both of us hearing as our parents approached our house.

I felt another bout of anxiety flow through my husband before he quickly squashed it. He gave me one last reassuring grin before straightening up and putting on a serious face. His gaze turned towards our doorway, and I reluctantly turned as well to see both our parents standing there.

"Jasper, Alice, how are you both?" Mom asked, giving us a kind smile. Dad was leaning casually against the doorway, his face looking quite weary. His eyes though were very alert as they roved over both Jasper and me.

"We're alright," I answered my mother, although my eyes were locked on my father's. He noticed my gaze and gave me a barely imperceptible eye raise. A quick flash of a vision showed me what he wanted to know.

_"How will Jasper handle his punishment?"_

I gave a minute frown and narrowed my eyes slightly to communicate my unhappiness with what was going to happen.

He studied my expression, his own eyes narrowing slightly before his eyes flicked over towards Jasper. A quick check of my visions showed nothing changed, and I bristled.

"Son, I take it Alice has shared with you your upcoming punishment?" he questioned, and Jasper nodded. "Yes sir, I'm to receive a lickin'."

Dad stared at him before flicking his eyes over to me, no doubt realizing I hadn't told my husband who would be spanking him.

"Very well," Dad continued, "I need you to head to my study." Jasper gave an obedient nod as he once more responded, "Yes sir."

"No," I burst out, grabbing a hold of Jasper's arm as I stared at both my parents. "Wait, just…I mean…," I trailed off, uncertain of what to say.

Jasper turned to give me a pleading look to not interfere while Mom gave me a sharp look. I was readying the defense of my mate when Dad simply called out, "_Alice_" in a deep voice, and I immediately flinched, my eyes flashing straight to my father's. His face was calm, nearly bored as he stared back because he knew full well I wasn't going to challenge him. I looked down to the floor as I released my hold from my husband.

Jasper had understood what had happened, and he sent me a loving, appreciative wave with his gift, gave another nod to our parents and walked out.

"He's not going to like this," I hissed quietly the second he was out of hearing range, and Mom sighed before replying, "It's punishment, Alice, he's not meant to like it."

"I know that," I snapped back, finding it difficult to remain quiet enough for Jasper not to hear, "but why do _you_ have to do it? Why can't Dad?"

"Your mother has as much of a right to punish you children as I do, Alice, so just drop it and let's go for a hunt," Dad said before motioning for me to walk out of my room. I felt tears of frustration prick my eyes as I glanced at my mother. I wanted to know her thoughts and why she was doing this.

"You can't do this. You know this will upset him so much worse than if Dad does it, so _why_?" I pressed, wincing when my father took two steps towards me. I didn't need to use my visions to know that he was in no mood for _any_ more attitude from me, so I subconsciously took a step back, covering my extremely sore backside. Before he could reach me though, Mom stopped him, her hand slapping hard against his chest. His eyes snapped to hers and they stared each other down for several tense seconds before he closed his eyes, letting out a harsh sigh as he walked back towards the hallway. He placed a hand on the top of the doorway, leaning against it and looking down at the floor. Seeing him like this I no longer needed to know why Mom would be the one spanking Jasper.

I looked back at Mom and gave her a nod of understanding along with a quiet apology. My dad was suffering. I knew he hated punishing us, and that he hated punishing us girls even more. Him whipping me hadn't only worn on me but on him as well. Add that to Jasper's temper tantrum and his hurtful words, and I knew why Mom decided to step up.

She smiled at me before walking up and cupping my cheeks. Kissing the brow of my head she then looked me in the face and I received a vision of her saying, "_Please take your father hunting, and help him, because right now I cannot._"

I responded with a weak smile and a nod before walking towards Dad. It seemed my mother was still too upset to offer my father the comfort he needed. I would have to do the best I could to help him, although I knew full well that who he really needed was Mom. Until that moment though, we would lean on each other.

**A/N:** So Mama Cullen is going to be the one to take our dear soldier to task. As Alice has seen, he's not going to take this very well, but Esme is more than prepared. As for our other two Cullens, as Alice believes, they will help each other as Alice finally confesses what she found out in Biloxi.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or any of its characters

**Warning:** This story contains _**disciplinary spanking**_ so if that offends you then please don't bother _**reading or**_ _**flaming**_.

**A/N: **I am really loving your guys' reviews. Hearing all your opinions and guesses as to what will happen is just great, I love it! Please keep them coming! As you can tell by the title this is the chapter our dear soldier boy is going to be taken to task. Time for Mama to put our stubborn boy in his place. Enjoy!

**Chapter 8: A Mother's Touch**

**Esme's POV:**

I felt relieved that Alice put up little fuss. While one of the main reasons I was punishing Jasper was because I knew Carlisle was not up to it, the other was because I felt this would be a good time for Alice and Carlisle to talk. Alice needed to open up about her past and what happened today, and while I'm sure her pain would hurt Carlisle, I knew it would be cathartic for him to finally be able to help his angel.

I also felt I would be able to make a better impression on my southern boy than Carlisle solely for the fact that I was his mother. He was used to accepting discipline from Carlisle, but not from me and I knew from the few times that I had spanked him that he _hated_ it when I punished him. I had compared my experiences with those of Carlisle's and Jasper had always reacted worse with me, even if it was just a few swats. His pride suffered, and my inability to shut my emotions away as effectively as Carlisle always hurt him more. These emotional tolls that he did not experience as strongly when being punished by Carlisle would make more of an impact, or at least that is what I was hoping for.

Jasper needed to learn to get his temper under control. He needed to learn that it was _never_ alright to treat us with such disrespect and defiance just because he _felt_ Alice was in danger. I couldn't _believe_ how he'd tried to threaten his father! My son was going to be one sorry little boy once I was through with him.

I took a few breaths, resolving myself to what lay ahead. This would be the first time I would be dealing with an issue this severe. All other times I had physically chastised my children they had all been spur of the moment with not much discussion involved as the misbehavior had not really warranted it. Temper tantrums usually, or childish mischief, actions that the children knew were wrong and all that was needed was correction.

I knew Jasper was going to take this badly, and I didn't need Alice's visions to tell me that. He would fight me. He would try to change my mind, and I was prepared for anything, lies, manipulation, begging.

I was secretly hoping I was wrong and that Jasper would accept this spanking as easily as he did Carlisle's. Sigh, well, here's to hoping.

Alright, I had reflected enough. Now was time to take my son in hand. No doubt he was anxious enough as it was.

Glancing about the destroyed room I let out a sad sigh before making my way to Carlisle's study. Taking one last deep breath, I walked in purposefully and with confidence. I felt and saw Jasper's confusion as he looked at me.

"Hello Mama," he spoke hesitantly, "Don't tell me ya talked Papa out of this, did ya?"

"No," I answered with a small shake of my head. His brow furrowed as his confusion mounted.

"So yer here ta talk to me," he guessed, and I just raised an eyebrow at obtuseness.

My son bit his lip, shifting from one foot to another before hedging another guess. "If yer here ta warn me, I promise to be on my best behavior with Dad. I won't fight 'im." He gave me a reassuring look, and I couldn't help the jolt of amusement I felt at his expression. Oh baby, I couldn't help but coo internally.

My little Texan narrowed his eyes at me, and I could actually feel his mounting confusion.  
"Not exactly," I answered him, and this time along with his confusion I felt his frustration.

"Then why are you here?" Is it…," he paused, a frown marring his before his eyes widened and his whole body tensed. "It's Alice, isn't it? He's gonna spank her again! That bastard! She's already been punished once today, wasn't that enough?!" he burst out angrily, turning to rush out of this room. He was just opening the door when I reached him, slamming the door shut before he could take a step outside. I slammed it with such force that a huge crack appeared, stemming from the top to halfway down the solid ebony door, and if that wasn't bad enough there was also a dent in the shape of my hand. In the back of my mind I gave an internal curse, knowing Carlisle was not going to like this. Better the door than his desk, I thought dryly. At least it's replaceable.

These thoughts registered in under a second before I whirled on my ill-tempered, foolish boy. I gave him a fierce look, totally fed up with his lack of control. I cannot _believe_ he was about to rush out of here all hot-headed because he _thought_ Alice was being spanked.

"Did I give you permission to leave?" I asked Jasper in a quiet, dangerous tone.

My son took a step back away from me, his eyes stunned at my actions. I made no attempt to hide my emotions for him. I wanted him to feel my anger. I wanted him to feel my frustration. I wanted him to feel my disappointment. Jasper eyed me warily before straightening up and giving me a stubborn look. No one would ever accuse him of being a coward, that was for sure. Foolish, yes, but not a coward.

"Carlisle already punished Alice today, so he got no right to be doin' so again so soon," he hissed angrily, his eyes flashing. "It ain't right, and I intend ta tell 'im so!"

I responded with a heated glare as I took a step into his personal space. I could feel how uncomfortable he was having me this near, but he refused to back away. He refused to give in. That was not going to work with me though. This boy would give in, and he would learn to respect my authority as much as he did Carlisle's.

"I am sick and tired of your attitude, Jasper Lee Cullen, _absolutely sick and tired_!" I hissed in his face. His brow furrowed slightly, a bit of guilt and hurt flashing through his eyes before I snatched up his left ear in my hand and dragged him over to one of the seats in front of Carlisle's desk.

"Sit down," I ordered sharply, giving a satisfied nod when the boy promptly did as he was told. He sat stiffly with his arms crossed, a disgruntled expression on his face, and I had to fight back an exasperated roll of my eyes as he was the epitome of a sulking teenager right now. H was even grumbling to himself while shooting me a mutinous look. "She don't understand," he muttered. "She's _always_ takin' his side."

I couldn't help the spark of amusement I felt at seeing Jasper act like this. This was the boy who used to frown upon the childish antics of his siblings, who used to voluntarily confess everything he considered to be misbehavior along with suggested punishments, and who used to fear any little bit of disrespect would get him kicked out of the family. Over his many years in this family he had begun to come out of his shell and act more his physical age (or younger), but today seemed to be the topping on the cake. First Alice and now Jasper. Leaving Bella had really messed this family up, and it was becoming more and more noticeable to me.

I continued to watch Jasper in silence as he slowly began to bring his temper under control. He took several deep breaths before staring up at me with clouded eyes. He was attempting to look stoic and uncaring, but not only had I known him long enough, I was also more than familiar with this tactic because of my stubborn husband.

"Are you through with all the tantrums for today?" I asked after several tense seconds of silence. I immediately felt a spike in anger from my moody son but he quickly stifled it as he gave me a slow nod. It was an obviously difficult move for him.

"Yes, ma'am," he managed to choke out before asking, "but if I may, could you please tell me if _Carlisle_ is punishin' _my_ wife?"

I sighed irritably at his question and the way he spoke his father's name, rubbing my forehead before just shaking my head. Jasper narrowed his eyes as he surveyed me, no doubt gauging my sincerity. When he found what he was looking for he immediately relaxed, all tension leaving him as he literally sank into his seat.

"Oh," Jazz mumbled, his relief coursing quickly from mild guilt to confusion. "Well, uh, then why are you here, Mom? You said you weren't here to talk to me, so…," he trailed off awkwardly as he sensed my mounting disappointment. I watched him fidget, nervously moving his hands from the arm rests to his lap as he tried to figure out what was going on. I was surprised he hadn't figured it out yet. My cowboy was no fool, but I supposed this wasn't a normal situation. It took longer than expected, but after a few more seconds the frozen body and widening eyes alerted me that he had finally realized what was about to take place.

"A-are ya here ta—I mean are ya gonna be—you…," he stammered nearly incoherently and I just nodded my head. I didn't think it possible, but his eyes managed to widen even more as his mouth fell open in an 'o' shape. He began opening and closing it looking very much like a fish out of water as he tried to come up with something to say. Truthfully I had been expecting quite a passionate and well thought argument, so I was a tad bit disappointed when all the boy managed to choke out was a strangled, "No."

If the situation hadn't been so serious I may have given my son a sympathetic smile, but I wasn't in the mood for protests right now. I was thoroughly fed up with Jasper's extreme disrespect and temper so there was no way this boy was talking himself out of this. Mama was _not_ happy with her child.

"Yes," I responded, but he just shook his head at me as he said, "But-but, you just can't"—

"Don't you dare tell me what I can and cannot do, young man," I sharply interjected. "I am your mother and you will do well to remember that."

Jasper snapped his mouth shut, leaning back in his chair at my rebuke, his eyes turning troubled before he began to speak. "I'm sorry, Mama, I meant no disrespect, but"—

I cut him off once more with a silencing hand.

"That is your problem though, isn't it," I remarked seating myself on top of my husband's desk. "You never mean to be disrespectful and you are always sorry, but you don't learn. That is why I am here instead of Carlisle right now. He has tried his hand at teaching you how to mind your temper, but now it is my turn."

Jasper shifted uncomfortably in his chair, his brow furrowed as he struggled to come up with a proper response.

"Before we get to your punishment, Jazz, we are going to talk," I informed him with a pointed look. "We are going to talk openly, honestly, and _civilly_ with one another," I added, now taking a seat in the chair next to him. We both turned our chairs so that we were facing each other.

"Yes, ma'am," was my boy's response, and I gave him a proud smile to show my happiness with his sudden compliance. I only hoped he would be able to keep a hold of his gentlemanly nature throughout this entire conversation.

"You know why you are here, Jasper," I began softly. "Your actions today have been absolutely atrocious. The disrespect and defiance you exhibited with not only me, but with Carlisle has been completely uncalled for and unacceptable. This behavior nearly always comes up when Alice is in trouble, but I thought you were getting better. I thought you were learning how to control your over protectiveness, but today you proved me wrong. You did everything short of attacking one of us; and for the record, I am proud of you for this as I recognize this shows you have grown to trust us, at least to some extent. What will it take for Carlisle and I to gain the rest of your trust, son?"

"I do trust ya," he immediately protested, looking upset that I could think any differently.

"It doesn't seem like it," I told him. "What other reason is there for the way you lose your temper every time Alice is in trouble with us? It's obvious that you don't trust us with her. You're still afraid we're going to hurt her even though you've experienced the same punishment she is subject to."

"It's not like that," he refuted, giving me an earnest look as he once more repeated, "I do trust you, Mama."

I refrained from giving a sigh. Either there was more to this than either Carlisle or I realized or the boy really didn't understand his own actions. "Then please explain, sweetheart, because I am obviously failing to understand the issue."

"I really do trust you and Papa," the boy declared vehemently, "it's just that Alice is my mate and it's my job to protect her. Everything I do, every move I make she's always in the back o' mah mind. My happiness is linked to her happiness. Everythin' she feels, I feel it too, and when she's upset or in pain because one of ya scolded or spanked her, it's pure agony for me. My every instinct, every fiber of mah bein' demands for justice. It demands I take care of whateva or whoeva hurt my mate."

I took in his passionate words, comparing them to my own in regards to Carlisle. I felt basically the same towards my mate, but Jasper felt everything more strongly. Due to his gift, he not only saw everything his mate went through but he actually felt it. I couldn't imagine what this would do to either me or Carlisle if we possessed our empathic boy's ability. Add that to the fact that Jasper was still a boy in so many ways, dealing with teenage hormones, and unable to always control the emotional highs and lows he experienced, well, things were becoming clearer to me. It in no way excused the boy's actions, but I was certainly on my way to understanding why his reactions were always stronger than Emmett's or even Carlisle's.

"Do you trust your father or me to spank Alice?" I decided to press, knowing that despite his claims there were definite trust issues in my boy. The hard part would be getting him to acknowledge that.

"This ain't got nuthin' to do with"—

"Think carefully before responding," I interrupted firmly, giving him a pointed look.

He sighed impatiently before unhappily doing as requested. It didn't take long before he was frowning and then looking up at me with a slightly shameful expression.

"I-I guess I don't," he spoke very quietly, unable to look me in the eyes now. "I'm sorry, I just, I mean I trust you when yer spankin' me, but Alice, well she's a special kind o' woman, and she just ain't me. She more sensitive and fragile, and she just can't handle the stuff I can. I deserve ta have my hide tanned every now an' again, but mah Alice don't. She's a sensible sort and ya really only need ta talk ta her and tell her what she done wrong for her to understand. A spanking is just overkill," the cowboy declared strongly, giving me an earnest look.

I nodded my head, feeling even more understanding of what the issue was. Jasper was right in a way, this really wasn't about trust. This was about him being misinformed and his inability to see the strength Alice possessed.

"Jasper, do you think we spank all you children in the same manner?" I asked, first wanting to clarify something with him.

"Well, yes why wouldn't you?" he questioned in confusion, not understanding the purpose behind my question. "I mean, obviously things'll be different depending on how badly we messed up, but I assume you treat us all the same so nobody can claim unfairness or that somebody got off easier than the other. I know when I've gotten in trouble with mah brothers that Papa has usually given us all the same numba of licks."

"Usually?" I pressed, and he looked a bit sheepish as he said, "Well, sometimes one of us gets a bit mouthy and we'll get extra, or sometimes if we been fightin' whoeva started it gets it worse than the others."

"Yes, so even in the same circumstances the punishment can be different," I remarked, and Jasper frowned lightly as said, "I suppose."

"Look son, all of you kids are your own unique individuals with different personalities. Because of these differing traits we tend to approach discipline differently with each one of you, even in terms of spanking. You, my young Texan have an issue with overcoming guilt. You hold onto your misbehavior much more strongly than your siblings would, and because of this, we are usually a little harder on you than we would be with them. Not to mention you are more prone to arguing and manipulation," I added sternly. "Alice on the other hand is nearly always very good at readily admitting her wrong doings and easily accepting of her punishments, so her spankings are rarely ever hard, especially in comparison to what you receive. It doesn't take much for Alice to understand the error of her ways, or to forgive herself. So, when you fear that Alice faces the same punishment as you, don't because that is rarely the case."

My son face looked conflicted as he thought over what I said. I allowed him a moment before addressing another issue.

"As for Alice being more sensitive and frail than you, Jasper, please don't be ridiculous," I chided mildly. "Alice is not as physically strong as you, that's true, and nor has she suffered the horrors and painful punishments you have, but that in no ways means she's any less strong. Do not confuse strength of body with strength of character. Alice is not some delicate flower that will fall apart at the least bit of wind. She is hardy and resilient like you and like all your siblings. The spanking she received today was a harsh one, but she bounced right back. Apart from a very sore bottom, did she seem broken or overly distraught to you?" I asked him.

"She was upset," he stated somewhat angrily, and when I raised an eyebrow at him, he then quietly admitted, "but overall she seemed alright." I graced my boy with a proud smile, happy that he seemed to finally be listening to a bit of reason. Of course, things couldn't be this easy though.

"But Carlisle still shouldn't have spanked her so hard. I mean, the belt, really? What could she possibly of done to deserve somethin' like that?" Jasper argued stubbornly. "It was too harsh."

"And how do you know she was undeserving? Do you even know what she did?" I questioned, and he shifted somewhat guiltily in his seat as he said, "Well, uh, no, I don't quite know what she did, but I do know he was still too hard on her."

I shook my head at his continued bull-headedness. "I assure you Jasper Lee that Alice received nothing more and nothing less than she deserved. She seriously injured a human at school, was unrepentant, and as such expelled. She gave your father and I nothing but attitude all the way home so we sent her to her room to calm down. While up there she proceeded to destroy all her clothes and belongings in a temper tantrum. When we tried to stop her and ask what was wrong she screamed at us to go away, nearly throwing me into a wall when I attempted to approach her. When your father eventually managed to grab a hold of her she fought him tooth and nail, landing a rather vicious jab into his stomach before then proceeding to bite down very hard on his wrist."

Jasper was basically gaping at me in full-blown shock at what I had just told him.

"Alice would never hurt Dad," Jasper attempted to argue. "She-she—There had to have been a damn good reason for why she was acting like this."

I resisted rolling my eyes. "We tried to get her to talk, but she refused only becoming increasingly irritable and disrespectful with us. As it is, let me remind you Jasper that you are not Alice's father or mother. It is not up to you to determine what behavior warrants punishment, or how much punishment that should be. Alice attacked not only me, but your father as well, and every Cullen child knows that sort of behavior will earn you a whipping no matter the circumstances."

**Jasper's POV:**

I heard what my mother was saying, and I could see what she was getting at, but I was just finding it hard to accept. I knew Alice wasn't perfect, and that even with her extraordinary gift she was bound to make mistakes, but I'd always had so much difficulty watching her be disciplined. I just couldn't stand the thought of my sweet, little mate being subjected to the kinds of punishments I'd been given; but according to Mom they were never as hard on Alice as they were on me. I'll admit, I really liked hearing that.

Mom also told me that Alice wasn't as weak and vulnerable as I seemed to describe her. Truthfully, I already knew that. She may not be as strong as me physically or have the battle experience, but even I knew that strength came in more forms. She was strong inside, and I knew it'd take more than a spanking to break her spirit, but I still worried. It was reassuring to know Mom thought so highly of Alice though, and that she recognized her strength of character. I really was doing my mate a disservice by thinking so lowly of her, and if Alice found out she'd tear me a new one. She didn't like to be thought of as weak in any way, and she didn't deserve to be.

As for what she deserved, well, Mom had a point again. I wasn't her father, and it wasn't my decision to decide what she deserved or didn't, but it was just so hard not to. Even knowing now what she did I just couldn't stand the thought of what pain Alice musta gone through when Dad had whipped her with that belt. I'd felt it before and it was no picnic. It was pain, pure and simple. Even if Dad hadn't spanked as hard with it as he would with me, it would still be extremely painful. She didn't deserve that kind of pain, not at all!

But what Mom said was right though. All us kids knew that the only surefire way to end up with a whippin' was to physically attack either one of our parents. Dad had laid that law out after the first time I'd been spanked for shoving Mom. I think he'd done it more as a way to let Mama know she wouldn't be interferin' in such cases anymore like she'd done with me, but we'd all taken the warning to heart; although it sure didn't stop Rose and I from eventually breakin' the rule.

I sighed, ruffling my hair in frustration as I thought all this over. I'd always felt guilty for the way I'd treated my parents when they punished Alice, but somehow I'd neva been able to stop. I'd certainly gotten better. I'd long since learned through a memorable experience with Dad's belt that attacking him or Mom was unacceptable. I'd let up when I'd heard them scolding or even grounding Alice. It was just when they spanked her that I was still having trouble.

Arrghh, but Mama was right. I've been actin' ridiculous and like a right darned fool! Dad would never abuse Alice, just never! Besides, how many times had I heard Edward and Emmett complaining about how much easier Dad was on the girls than us boys? I'd witnessed the same thing when I'd gotten into trouble with Rose once, so why didn't I make the connection to Alice? I'd been punished with each one of my siblings and neva once did I feel he'd been too hard with any of us. Actually, more than a time 'o two I felt he'd been too easy. I tried to control those sorts of thoughts though because they tended to lead to me runnin' my mouth off and gettin' into even worse trouble.

"I see your point Mama, I really do," I finally spoke, "and I'll try, I really will to do better. I realize I've been actin' horribly and that I've treated you and Papa unfairly, but it's just so darn hard to rememba all this when I see or even hear 'bout Alice in any kind of pain. I can't help but feel that if I don't try and defend her, even from you guys, that I'd be an awful mate undeserving of her."

"Sweetheart," Mom said in a scolding manner, "that is ridiculous and you know it. You are the best mate Alice could ever ask for. There is no man more suited to be her other half than you, and don't you forget that, young man."

"Yes ma'am," I respectfully responded, my heart warming at the utter certainty in her voice and emotions.

"As for remembering that Alice is in no danger and needs no defending, well, that is where the next part of your punishment comes in," my mama announced, her emotions turning stern and determined all of a sudden. My stomach did a nice somersault as I recalled that she had promised me a lickin'.

"Stand up soldier," Mom commanded as she stood up, and I obeyed without thought. I was not happy about this at all. I didn't want Mom to spank me. She wouldn't be hard enough on me. I'd messed up real bad, and I probably deserved Papa's belt for how I'd disrespected and defied not only him but Mama as well. My sweet mama just didn't have what it takes to deliver a good, hard lickin'. And, if I was a little bit truthful with myself, my pride couldn't stand the beatin' it took when it was my mother doin' the spankin'. It was more embarrassing when she did it, and it just, well it just neva felt right. It was a father's job to punish his son, not the mothers. Then there was also the fact that try as she might Mom couldn't hide her emotions from me like Dad could, which made her punishments that much worse to bear. I could handle pain, but her emotional turmoil always tore me up.

I hesitantly followed my Mama over to the couch, wondering if I should argue or just let it be. Once there she sat down and patted her lap, giving me an expectant look.

Her lap? She wanted me over her lap? She'd never spanked me over her lap! She'd always had me bend over my bed or the armrest of a couch, and even a few times over the kitchen table, but never her lap. Nu uh, no way! I may allow Dad to subject me to this, but not her, not my mother! I would not demean myself in such a way.

I took a few steps back, stood up straight, crossed my arms and gave her a defiant look.

Mom straightened up when she noticed my expression, her eyes narrowing and her emotions displaying disbelief and increasing anger.

"Come here," she ordered, but I just shook my head.

Mom shook her head back at me, but hers was of exasperation. "Jasper Lee Cullen, I would never have believed you capable of such defiance, but time and time again today you have proved me utterly wrong. You know what you did wrong and you knew this punishment was coming, so why the refusal?"

I remained silent, fighting the back the sting of her words. I didn't want to be defiant, but…"

"Do you feel deserving of punishment?" Mom asked, and I gave her a nod as I said, "Yes ma'am, I most certainly do."

"Do you feel deserving of a spanking?" she then asked, and once more I gave her a nod.

"Then the issue here is that I am the one delivering it, isn't it?" she ascertained, and I felt guilty when I felt her hurt, but I nodded my head anyways. "Yes ma'am," I said softly.

"Why? What is it about me being the one spanking you that could cause you to exhibit such defiance?" she pressed, both her appearance and emotions presenting a calm and collected front. She wasn't surprised by my reaction at all, I realized. She'd been expecting this. I wasn't sure why that bothered me so much.

"Mama, you know I love and respect you, but I just don't believe you've got what it takes to properly punish me," I declared, deciding there was no need to beat around the bush. "You can handle the small stuff, but I really messed up this time and you and I both know it. The level of disrespect and defiance I've exhibited today has been beyond reproach. I not only stepped over the line, but I took a leaping bound, and to be able to atone for such sins I deserve a harsh punishment. I believe Dad should be the one to punish me not only because he has the strength to give me the punishment I've rightly earned, but because I wronged him more than I did you." There, I thought. There was no way she could argue with that logic, I thought confidently.

It seemed my assumption was wrong though because she stood up, crossed her arms, stared me straight in the eye and said, "I thought we had already established Jasper that you are not the parent, yet here you are once more trying to decide who deserves what punishment and even who gets to administer it. This arrogance, this _presumption_ completely astounds me, and I fail to understand how it doesn't bother you. You have always claimed to be respectful of authority, but time and time again you try to tell that authority what to do, only turning respectful when _you_ feel they are right. Does that make sense to you?"

I was taken aback by her words, my mind suddenly reeling. "Respect doesn't always equate to obedience," I argued, already cursing myself for the idiotic comment when Mom raised an amused eyebrow at me.

"No, it doesn't, but it is certainly an aspect of it. Right now, for example, your refusal to submit to this punishment willingly shows you hold no respect for my position as your mother," she commented, and her words stung me more than I cared to admit. I didn't like people questioning my character.

"I do too respect you as my mother," I retorted hotly, "but it ain't a mother's job to punish her son."

Both my mother's eyebrows rose up this time in surprise. "Is that what's really the issue here, son?" she asked, and I was surprised by the suddenly kind voice she was using. "Did your human mother never punish you?"

"I-she…," I shifted uncomfortably, tugging at my waist coat. "No ma'am, she did not. In the Whitlock household it was only us boys who got lickins and it was only eva done by my pa. My pa told me that women was too frail hearted for such punishment, and they didn't need it anyhow."

Mom closed her eyes briefly, a look of sudden realization hitting her. "I understand," she stated as she looked at me. "I understand where you are coming from now, Jasper, but you've clearly seen that that is not the way things work in the Cullen household. I mean absolutely no disrespect to your human father, but woman are hardier than he believed. I thought you would have realized that by now."

"I do, I mean I have noticed," I defended. "I don't think like my pa does, but…" I grimaced, as I realized that a part of me still clung to my human father's beliefs. It was antiquated, I knew that, but in a way so was I. Letting out a tired sigh, I rubbed my scarred hand over my face. I didn't know what to think anymore because it seemed like my mama was intent on challengin' all my beliefs today.

"Jasper, sweetheart, do you trust me?" she questioned, and I immediately nodded my head. "Of course I do," I told her.

"Do you trust me as much as your father?" she then asked, and once more I immediately nodded my head.

I felt her relief and gratitude before she spoke again. "Do you trust Carlisle to punish you? Do you trust him to know what it is you need and deserve?"

I bit my lip briefly, thinking the question over before nodding my head. "I do."

"So, if your trust in me is the same as for your dad, then can you not trust me to know what is best for you? Can you not trust me to adequately handle your punishment?" she questioned, and once again her logic had me beat. I meant it when I said I trusted her as much as I did Dad, so shouldn't that mean I could trust her to give me the punishment I deserved? It should.

She and Dad were the parents, I had to remind myself. They were in charge, not me, and it should be them who decided on my punishment. All these years Dad had been able to successfully discipline me, and even the few times Mom had spanked me for minor misbehavior her punishments had been exactly what I'd needed. Why then was I having such a problem? Was it really just pride?

Damn it all to hell, but it was! I was embarrassed by the thought of having to go over her knees like a little child. She was my mother, and she'd probably be spankin' me bare bottom! If I could blush I'd be beet red right now from mortification. Why was this so much easier with Dad?

Who was I kidding? Even with Dad spankings were never easy. I always hated having to go over his lap and having to drop my pants. It was humiliating, but Dad had told me on more than one occasion that that was part of the punishment.

This sucked!

Man up Cullen! I scolded myself harshly. Yer afraid of bein treated like a child, but that's all you've been acting like today. You should be absolutely ashamed of yerself for how you've behaved. Carlisle and Esme are nuthin but good to you. They're the best parents you could've ever asked for and look at how you repaid them! By being mistrusting, disrespectful, defiant, and even downright threatening.

Oh god, I messed up. I messed up real bad. Sorrow and guilt began to spread through me, and suddenly I had no fight left in me anymore. What the hell had been wrong with me today? I'd given my parents so much trouble. Even now when I should've been accepting my more than deserved punishment, I was fighting with Mom about it and even insultin' her abilities. How messed up was that?

I should take this lickin and then ask Dad for another one.

My head was bowed now and my shoulders slumped. I couldn't even lift my head up to look at Mom I was filled with so much shame. How could she bare to even look at me? I heard as she walked to me and felt as she put her hands on my cheeks, lifting my head so she could look into my miserable eyes.

"I'm' sorry Mama for being such a wretched son," I told her. "I'll take my lickin now," I assured her, and she gave me a look of motherly pride I didn't feel I deserved at all.

"Alright cowboy, let's get this over with," she stated, leading me back to the couch. When she'd once more sat down I didn't even wait for her to tell me what to do before dropping my jeans to the floor and bending over her lap. I shifted awkwardly, noting right away the difference between being over her lap and over Dad's. She was definitely smaller, but no less strong I realized as she easily adjusted me to her liking.

"This will be on the bare," she told me, and I bit back a groan of embarrassment, burying my head in my arms when I felt her lower my boxers.

"I am extremely disappointed with you, Jasper Cullen," she spoke, and I don't even know why she bothered saying that because I could all too easily _feel_ that disappointment. In fact, I could feel not only her disappointment, but her anger, frustration, exasperation, sadness, and hurt. All these emotions were weighing heavily on me as I was already suffering from guilt and anxiety. Usually my parents kept as tight a rein on their emotions as they could when disciplining me, but it was like she wasn't even trying. It was almost as though she _wanted_ me to feel all this.

My thoughts were abruptly cut short when I felt the first of many sharp smacks begin to land on my naked behind. I let out a grunt at the start, but afterwards clenched my teeth tightly, determined to take this punishment in absolute silence. I would not make this any harder on my mother than I already had.

_Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat!_

Mom spanked at a steady pace although her swats landed randomly so I wasn't able to predict where she'd land next. She made sure to pepper my entire backside, paying special attention to my sensitive sit spots. I gritted my teeth even more tightly, tensing my body as the fire began to build. This definitely hurt, but I could handle it.

_Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat!_

I let out a quiet whimper when she then began concentrating on a single area, and had to really fight the urge to kick my legs in order to somehow alleviate some of the pain. She'd spank one area a dozen times before moving onto another area.

I tried the best I could to push the pain out of my mind, but that didn' work too well because instead I ended up focusin' on the increasing distress I was feeling from my mother. This spanking seemed to be hurting her as much as it was me, and tears that I'd so desperately tried to hold back began to fall silently down my cheeks.

"Jasper, tell me why you are in this position," Mom demanded in a steady voice that belied none of her inner turmoil.

I let out a groan, hating it when I was forced to speak during a spankin'. It was much harder to concentrate on being silent when I was forced to actually open my mouth.

"I-I was _*hiss*_ disrespectful," I responded, but Mom wasn't satisfied with that simple answer.

"I want specifics," she demanded. "How were you disrespectful?"

"I—ouch!—talked back ta ya a-and Dad, screamed—Ah!—screamed at ya, did-didn't l-listen *_hiss_* and I tried to threaten Dad!" I shouted before once more shutting my mouth tightly.

"What else?" Mom asked, and I groaned out loud before letting out a yelp when she landed a particularly hard swat.

I racked my mind for what else I'd done before once more beginning to speak. "I gr-growled and—Ow!—glared at the-the both o-of ya, and—Ouch!—and I-I disobeyed ya countless t-times—Ah!—and-and-and I dunno what else!" I screamed, choking back a sob as not only did she increase the strength and speed of the swats, but her disappointment in me mounted significantly along with sadness. I felt horrible. I was a terrible son and I had let her down horribly. I didn't know why they put up with me. I obviously neva learned.

"I think you about covered it all," Mom spoke, oblivious to my self-hatred, "and I believe it goes without saying how unacceptable all those actions are, isn't that right?"

"Y-yes ma'am!" I spoke through gritted teeth, futilely trying to wipe away my tears on my shirt sleeve.

"I'm glad to hear that. Now, tell me the reason behind this abominable behavior," Mother demanded, and I whimpered before answering, "I _*hiss*_ thought y-you and—Mmmff!—Papa w-was bein'-being t-too hard on A-Alice!"

"Correct," she answered, her voice no longer calm but hoarse from the emotions she was feeling, but that didn't stop her from once more upping the intensity of the spanking. Tears were streaming down my face, my shoulders shaking as I fought desperately to keep from openly sobbing.

"And will you react this way in the future?" was the next question asked, and I shook my head as I screamed out, "No ma'am!"

"So when Alice receives her punishment for fighting, what will you do to keep these events from repeating?" Mom questioned, and I felt at a loss. I had no idea what I was going to do differently. Everything seemed to make perfect sense when I was getting my tail tanned, but in the heat of the moment I wasn't sure I'd be able to control myself. I mean, this wasn't exactly my first spankin' for this offense.

"I-I dunno, Mama, I dunno!" I cried, and the increase in my mother's sorrow along with her hand concentrating solely on my sit spots now sent me over the edge. I began to sob, hating myself for the pain I caused her and for my inability to control myself. I couldn't even promise her that I'd not commit these same offenses the next time Alice was being disciplined. I was a failure and undeserving of their love.

"I don't believe that," Mom told me, and I cried, her disappointment cutting straight to my heart.

"I-I-It's tr-true. I just-I just-I just," I stuttered, unable to even finish the statement I was so upset with myself. Sighing heavily, my mother abruptly stopped spanking me. She pulled my boxers up but yanked my pants all the way off along with my shoes before setting me in her lap. She held me in her arms, slightly rocking me as I tried to bring myself under control.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," I repeated over and over, but she just shushed me, running her hand through my hair.

I had managed to stifle my sobs, but still hadn't managed to stop my tears before she began to speak. "I want to discuss how you are going to handle yourself when Alice is in trouble," she said, and I inhaled a very shaky breath as I gave her a nod.

"I want your complete focus on this moment, Jasper," Mom stated. "I want you to focus on my emotions, the disappointment, anger, hurt, and sadness that I am feeling, and I want you to focus on your own emotions." I did as she requested, a new wave of tears beginning to fall as I felt her emotions. My guilt intensified, and several sobs escaped me as my mother once more tried to calm me.

Her voice was shaky as she spoke. "I want you to remember all this in vivid detail the next time you feel the need to defend your mate from Carlisle or me. I want you to remember my emotions, your emotions, and that sting in your backside."

I nodded my head in understanding, unable to speak.

Mom continued to run a hand through my hair, intently studying my face before asking, "Why the guilt, honey? Is it over how you behaved today?"

I nodded my head, choking back a sob with great difficulty as I told her, "I-I'm a-a failure," I cried brokenly. "I'm a h-horrible s-son and-and you"—but I didn't get to finish my sentence because in the blink of an eye I found myself once more facedown over my mother's lap with my boxers pulled down and a hard hand falling down on my very sore tail.

"Owww, owww, Mama!" I sobbed, the pain coming back full force as she wailed away on my poor behind.

"Jasper Lee Cullen, how dare you say such awful things about yourself!" she scolded sharply. "You are a wonderful, loving son and just because you have a problem with your temper at times does not make you a failure or a horrible son, do you hear me?"

"Y-Yes ma'am!" I hollered, actually beginning to kick my feet as the pain began to overwhelm me. "I'm s-s-s-sorry!" I told her, and after a few more well placed swats I found myself being righted and placed onto her lap. I immediately clung to her, wrapping my arms around her neck, burying my head into her shoulder and cried.

"Shhh, sweetheart, it's alright, but you mustn't say such horrible things about yourself," she chided lightly. "The next time I hear that kind of talk I'll wash your mouth out with soap after I warm your bottom up, are we clear?"

"Uh huh," I choked out, nodding my head sincerely. I felt her love envelop me and that went a long way in soothing my guilty conscience, but her ever increasing sorrow kept me from fully recovering. My gift was out of control, I realized and now we were both influencing each other, so I was unsurprised when I felt my mother's tears land onto my hair and cheek.

"Mama," I cried, "please, _please_ don't cry, I'm sorry. I swear I'll do betta, I swear," I promised her. "You won't eva have any mo' trouble from me," I assured her, realizing that was an impossible promise, but willing to say anything to help her feel better.

She chuckled, a sharp spike of amusement rising in her as she held me tighter and kissed my brow. "Hush Cowboy, you know you shouldn't make such absurd promises," she spoke, and I just shrugged my shoulders, focusing on helping us both out. Mama realized what I was doing and began to take deep and steady breaths, doing the best she could to bring herself back under control while also trying to keep her emotions from me. Her efforts paid off because almost instantly I felt the agonizing sense of deep sadness, disappointment, and guilt leave me. I still felt those emotions, but they were more manageable and I was able to finally stop my crying and settle down.

**A/N: **Yikes! So Jazzy was taken to task by dear ol mama bear! We'll check in with Carlisle and Esme next chapter!

PLEASE REVIEW!


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight.

**Warning:** This story contains references to disciplinary spanking. If this bugs you, then find something else to read.

**A/N: **I know this story was originally about Alice, but like I've stated before the focus has changed. My original plan was to have this story detail Alice reacting to her past, but it ended up actually becoming a story about the negative effects leaving Forks and Bella had on the Cullens. Sorry to those of you who want more Alice, but her portions have pretty much passed. She's included in the story, of course, but I won't be placing major focus on her struggles anymore because we have Carlisle and Jasper to deal with now. Alice is on the mend already. Once again, sorry to those of you who were expecting an Alice story.

Haven't read the reviews for the last chapter, so not sure what the response was, but I'm hoping it was positive. I've already made you wait long enough, so here is the next chapter. Enjoy!

**Chapter 9: Growing Guilt**

**Carlisle's POV:**

My mind was reeling as I held Alice in my arms, letting her cry out all her despair. She had told me. She had told me _everything_ she had found out while in Biloxi before collapsing into a torrent of tears.

When we had left home we had run until we were far enough away not to hear a sound from the house. Of course, with Alice's gift it was a mute point, but I was hoping to distract her and keep her from looking into her mate's future. First I had urged her to hunt, guiltily noting the stiff way in which she moved and the nearly constant grimaces of pain. I had really worn out her backside.

She deserved it, I had reminded myself, futilely trying to stop from becoming too guilty. She could not be allowed to treat her mother and me in so deplorable a manner, and most importantly she _could not_ be allowed to attack us.

When we had both satiated our thirsts I had noticed the glazed look on her face, which let me know she was keeping an avid watch on Jasper's future. While a large part of me really wanted to know how it was going, the smaller, more rational part of my mind was telling me that I should trust my wife, and that I had more important matters on my hand, such as talking with my daughter.

Calling Alice's attention to myself, I lightly scolded her, telling her to trust her mother and her mate and to leave them be. When she looked ready to argue with me I silenced her words with a firm look before requesting that she tell me the real truth about what she found out in Biloxi. My words had the desired response for she promptly froze, her attention fully on me. A myriad of emotions flitted across her face such as deep sorrow, hurt, and pain. My heart had seized up at the picture she presented, and that was before I even knew the terrible truth.

Sitting myself on the ground I had motioned for my angel to join me, which she had all too happily done. I had felt immensely relieved that she was no longer attempting to hide this from me any longer, and also that she still trusted and loved me even after how hard I had come down on her earlier. Even after all these years I had never lost the fear that I would one day go too far (again) and push my family away.

My sweet girl had cuddled up to me, and that little action alone had done great wonders for my aching heart. She had said nothing for several moments before taking a huge breath and beginning to speak. Little by little she had begun to inform me of what she had discovered. She had been committed by her own father…her own father who had apparently hired someone to murder her mother. Alice, through use of her visions had found this out, and this had led to her father ordering the same man to murder her. Human Alice had run to her aunt and uncle for help, but they had turned their backs on her, and when she had gone to the police for help, her father had already spread the lie that she was insane and had had her committed. Her death date was the same day as her entry date.

I felt sick, absolutely sick to my stomach. I felt fury, white hot fury at the bastards who had done this to _my_ daughter, and I felt pain, unimaginable pain at what Alice must have felt when she discovered this and what she must have been feeling all these months. She'd told me how she'd fought with Jasper and how she'd kept all this from him. That certainly explained a lot of things, I thought.

My poor Alice. My poor little girl. No wonder she'd asked me if I would ever make her leave! It'd not only been because of the situation with Edward, Bella, and her siblings, but as a result of what her human father had done to her. I just could not fathom how a father could treat their own child so horribly—I snorted at that ridiculous train of thought. Who was I kidding? I could all too well imagine how a father could treat their own offspring so abominably. All I had to do was look at my own.

But dear God, I _never_ in a million years would have wanted one of my children to understand how that felt. I never would have wanted my children to know the feeling of being hated by your own parent, or the feeling of abandonment.

There was only one small blessing in this, and that was that Alice had no memories of these events. She had only read about them in documents and her journal.

Her loss of memory now made perfect sense to me. When I'd first met this perky little pixie I had never been unable to understand how she had no memory prior to becoming a vampire. The transformation fixed all injuries, or so I thought. Now that I knew that Alice had been in an asylum I had an all too clear view of what she had gone through. Electroshock therapy, and it would have had to have been extensive to have wiped her memory. The pain, the sheer _agony_ my sweet angel must have endured while in that hellhole was heart rendering. I simply couldn't stand it.

And it seemed that neither could Alice because she clung tightly to me as though suddenly afraid that I would disappear. I held her close and with a voice full of passion and conviction I told her how much I loved her. I told her how much she meant to me. I assured her vehemently that I would never _ever_ abandon her or force her from this family. I was her father and I would _always_ be there for her, even when she didn't want me around, I had added, elated when she had graced me with a soft giggle.

"I am so sorry, Alice," I then apologized, "for the doubt I have instilled in you. I have failed in my duties as a father to not only you, but to Jasper and your siblings as well; and I have failed in my duties as a husband to Esme. I have let this family down, and that is unforgivable."

Alice stared at me with wide eyes before hesitantly asking, "Bella?"

"Yes, I have failed Bella as well," I acknowledged remorsefully. "I have allowed this family to break apart. I abandoned Bella, let Edward go without a fight, and allowed things to become so bad Emmett and Rosalie felt the need to escape. Then, instead of helping those who stayed behind I instead immersed myself in work as a way to hide from my troubles. I was a blasted coward!" I hissed self deprecatingly. "I left Esme, you, and Jasper alone in your struggles. You all suffered and I did nothing, _absolutely nothing_ to help you!"

"Daddy, don't," Alice stated, looking at me with pleading eyes. "Don't do this to yourself. You've failed no one."

I just shook my head, looking her straight in the eyes as I asked, "Can you honestly tell me that you've not thought the same these past several months? Don't think I failed to notice the cold shoulder you've been giving me for quite some time now, nor the accusing look in your eyes."

My daughter squirmed guiltily on my lap before shaking her head back at me. "Daddy, no, I-I, well, I mean I _was_ angry with you, but that was because I couldn't help but compare"—She stopped talking abruptly, biting her lip and shooting me a sincerely apologetic look. I knew what she'd been about to say. She'd been comparing me to her human father, and I couldn't help the way my throat tightened up with emotion. I knew she didn't mean to, but there was truly nothing worse that she could have said to me at this moment.

I felt absolutely awful. Guilt was rearing its ugly head and I suddenly had to fight back the urge to cry. Alice had been angry with me because she'd seen similarities between me and her human father, the man who'd murdered her mother, attempted to murder her and then abandoned her in an asylum. What kind of father did that make me?

I was wretched. I was vile! The sheer magnitude of my failure was becoming clearer with every passing second and I just could not fathom how I allowed things to reach this level. How could I have been so blind and ignorant to what was going on around me? How could I have let it come to this?!

"Dad? Daddy, please stop torturing yourself," I suddenly heard my angel cry to me. My eyes snapped to hers, and I was disheartened to see tears falling down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean it, Daddy, I swear I didn't mean it!" she told me earnestly. "You are _nothing_ like my human dad. I was just hurting and angry so I lashed out at you. It was wrong and I'm sorry, but please, _please_ don't do this to yourself."

She was sitting up in my lap now, her hands on each side of my face, assuring that I would not look away. "You have nothing to apologize for," I assured her, hating that I was once again the cause of her tears. "And I am not torturing myself," I argued. "I am only telling it like it is. I messed up Alice. I messed up_ horribly_, and it is you children who have suffered the brunt of my mistake. You had every right to compare me to your human father because I abandoned you all physically and emotionally."

"Arrghh!" Alice shrieked gripping onto my shirt with her two hands and giving me a little shake. "If it wasn't for the fact that my poor bottom was already on fire I'd slap you," she declared hotly. "Yes, Carlisle Cullen, I'd slap you for being so damn bullheaded!"

My eyes widened as I stared at my exasperated child. Had she just reprimanded me? She glared at me for an entire minute, but when I failed to say anything she began to get nervous, her glare faltering. She released her hold on me and started smoothing my shirt and wiping off imaginary dust. "Um, yeah, so just-so just stop being so stubborn," she said somewhat sternly, but mostly nervously.

Having overcome my surprise I grasped onto my frightened child's hands, brought them to my lips and gave them both a kiss. "I'm not angry," I informed her gently, "but you were wise to refrain from slapping me," I couldn't help but add.

We both stared into each other's eyes, and I was certain she could see my pain as easily as I saw hers. I lifted my hand and softly caressed the side of her face. "I am deeply sorry," I whispered, and she stared at me for several more moments before her face seemed to fall into defeat as she nodded her head.

"It's okay," she replied back just as quietly. "I know you never meant to hurt me or anybody in this family."

"I didn't," I agreed, giving her an earnest look. "I love all of you so much. I don't understand how I could—I failed you all terribly and I can offer no excuse," I attempted to explain knowing full well that I had no explanation. I had no excuse or reason for why this had all happened. Everything had seemed to spiral out of control without me really having noted how bad things were. It was frightening how one single decision could lead to something like this.

What had I been thinking in allowing Edward to sway me so easily? Why had I catered to my son's panicked pleas so easily? I should have—no, I did know better. I knew he was being hasty, but I'd been so afraid that he would leave us that I had foolishly uprooted the entire family, leaving the youngest and most vulnerable behind just to keep my firstborn with me. And look at how well that turned out. Where was that firstborn now? I had no idea, no damned idea! I was a fool!

"Daaaaddd," Alice sighed while wrapping her arms around my neck. "Okay, so you may have made a mistake, but everything that has happened is not all your fault. Edward is a big boy and responsible for his own actions, and you didn't tell Rosalie and Emmett to leave. As for Jazzy and me, well that's my fault. I chose to keep quiet and forced him to keep quiet. With Bella, well," she spoke giving me an honest look of disappointment, "in my opinion you _really_ dropped the ball on that one. And I'd have to say you did the same with Mom."

My shoulders dropped as I recalled Esme's anger with me. We may have been able to cooperate amicably when it came to the children, but my wife had made it more than apparent how furious she was with me. And what must Bella feel or think? How had my human child handled all this? Better than Edward I was certain. I hadn't known the girl long, but I knew enough about her to know that she would not have behaved as my son had. That is assuming she missed Edward as much as he obviously missed her. I still was unsure of how the relationship had affected her, and if her attachment to Edward was as powerful as his to hers.

How could I have messed up this horribly? Every single member of this family was suffering the consequences of my poor decision. Guilt and self loathing ate away at me, and I didn't even have my wife to turn to for comfort. The more I thought on this, the worse I began to feel. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stomach what I'd done.

I needed—I should, I began to think, an idea beginning to form in my head. My stomach already curled into itself, a shiver running up my spine as I began to consider—But no, I couldn't. She wouldn't agree anyway, and it just—I mean, I didn't need—But I did. I did really need this.

"Dad, what are you—Oh no, Daddy, you don't have to do that," Alice began to say, and fighting back a wave of embarrassment at what she may have seen I turned to my angel who was looking at me pleadingly. "You don't have to ask Mommy to do that to you," she stated. "Your mistake is nowhere near as bad as when you lost it with Em."

"But it is," I told her in a firm tone. "I didn't abuse any of you, that's true, but that doesn't make what I did any less grievous. Look at the point we've reached, sweetheart. Look at how much suffering every single member of this family is going through all because of my failure in duties as not only your father, but as your leader. The worse part of it is, Alice, that I knew I was wrong to give in to Edward. I knew it would hurt us all, but I failed to grasp the magnitude; and I failed to do anything to stop it. I can't forgive this," I admitted hoarsely. "I can't just let this go. I need…I need…," I trailed off, unable to even utter what I needed.

I was ashamed and embarrassed. I shouldn't be unloading all this on my daughter who was already suffering from her own demons. I couldn't ask this of my wife either. She suffered greatly the one time she'd chastised me, and it would be wrong of me to subject her to that sort of pain once more. I would need to deal with this on my own.

My dear, sweet angel, no doubt noting my woebegone expression pulled me in for a tight hug, whispering into my ear, "Everybody makes mistakes, Daddy. The point is that you learn from them, and I think you already have. Besides, now that you see everything you can start on fixing it and getting our family back to the way it was, whole and happy."

I hugged her back just as tightly, swallowing back the sudden lump I had in my throat as I responded, "Don't worry Alice, I _will_ fix this, I promise you. I will bring this family back together and make you all happy again. Things will get better."

"I know they will, I trust you," Alice replied with the utmost confidence, and I felt nearly overwhelmed with love for this little girl. After all she'd suffered and the very harsh whipping I'd given her she still loved and trusted me. She still looked at me with adoring eyes that said she wasn't afraid because she knew I would fix everything.

I watched as she briefly closed her eyes, and when she opened them she gave me a sad look. "You haven't changed your mind," she said, and I swallowed nervously as I responded, "I guess I haven't." Then, before I could run out of nerves I asked her, "What did you see?"

"Don't worry," my resident seer said, patting my cheek gently, "I only saw you asking Mom."

I felt relieved, but couldn't help but then anxiously ask, "Did she agree?"

Alice's eyes looked into mine and gave nothing away as she told me, "You're going to have to wait and see. If this is something you feel you need, then I'm not going to get in the way, but I'm sorry Daddy, I'm not going to help you either. This is between you and Mommy," she declared, and I barely withheld a sigh of frustration as I nodded to her. The anxiety of what I may be facing soon was already getting to me and I hadn't even asked Esme. I wasn't even sure I wanted to ask.

"I give you my word I won't look into your future for this, though," she added kindly. "I know you wouldn't want me to see what happens if Mom agrees, and truthfully, I don't either. You're always telling us how when we hurt, you hurt, and it's the same in reverse. I can't stand seeing you in pain either. I'm hurting right now just seeing the way you're beating yourself up over this."

"Oh Ali, I'm sorry angel," I immediately responded, bringing her closer to me. "You have your own issues to be dealing with, how could I unload any of this onto you? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything to you"—

"No Dad, no!" Alice said loudly, once more placing her hands on my face. "Please don't apologize for confiding in me. I'm so happy that you felt you could be open with me, I really am. I'm just sorry that I wasn't able to help you, but please don't ever feel that you can't talk to me or any of us really. Mom shouldn't be your only source of comfort, Dad. I know we're young and immature at times, but like you're always there for us in our times of need, we'll always be there for you in your times of need, okay?"

I graced my girl with a wide, appreciative smile as I hugged her. "Thank you Alice for being so understanding. By now you know of my penchant for bottling my pain inside, but I've been working on it. I know I can confide in you children, but I'm sorry to say that I find it incredibly difficult admitting my faults or struggles to you."

Alice sighed before smiling. "I know Dad, but the offer is there all the same." I kissed her cheek and nodded once more.

We sat in companionable silence after that for a while and it was only when I noticed the suddenly glazed look in my daughter's eyes that I remembered I was supposed to keep her distracted. When she came to she looked surprised, which really wasn't an emotion I expected if she was searching her husband's future.

"What did you see?" I questioned, and she answered, "Jasper took Mom's punishment a lot better than we all expected. This is not what I originally saw so Mom must've done something different, or maybe Jasper changed his mind. I don't know, but we don't have to worry anymore as Mom seems to have everything under control.

I couldn't help the proud smile that graced my features as I thought of my wife. I knew she was strong and capable, but she still never ceased to surprise me. How long she had come from the timid, frightened newborn she had been. How long she had come from the mother who never even wanted to consider landing a single swat on _her_ babies' backsides. My wife was incredible. And I also felt pride in my soldier. I had been afraid he would give Esme trouble, but it seemed he had regained some of his maturity.

Deciding now that we had talked about me more than enough I focused the attention back on Alice when I asked, "So now that I know what you found out in Biloxi, does any of that have to do with what happened at school today?"

Alice tensed at the question, her eyes immediately dropping to her lap, but not because they were filled with guilt but because they were filled with anger.

"She deserved what she got," she told me, and I shook my head at her in disbelief.

"Alice," I scolded, "what could that child have possibly done to have deserved a shattered jaw? Do you not understand the amount of pain she was in? Or the amount of surgery it will take to fix that kind of damage? Do you not understand how easily you could have killed her?"

Some of the anger seemed to leave her, and I was gratified to see that now along with anger there was a bit of guilt.

"I didn't mean to hit her that hard," she eventually whispered so quietly I had to strain my ears to hear her.

Well, that certainly wasn't an apology but it was sure a start. It did please me to know that she hadn't intended to cause the girl such harm, but the fact remained she obviously intended to hurt the girl.

"Tell me what happened," I demanded, wanting to know once and for all what Cassie could have done to have incurred the wrath of my normally laid back daughter.

**Alice's POV:**

I wasn't at all pleased with the turn this conversation had taken. I didn't want to talk about Cassie or the horrible things she had said to me. I didn't want Dad to make me feel guilty, but damn it, he'd only said a few words and already I could feel a bit of shame building in me. Why did he have to be so good at making us Cullen kids sorry? At this point I'd really just rather take the spanking and be done with this whole mess. I knew Dad didn't work that way though. He always wanted to talk and hash out why we misbehaved, and he wasn't going to let this go until I'd told him everything.

Deciding I'd put my father through enough stress, and that he was suffering already, when he asked me what happened I told him everything. I certainly didn't want to, but I couldn't stand to cause the man any more trouble than I already had.

When I finished he said nothing for several minutes. I waited anxiously for the lecture to start, already beginning to feel more guilt because of the growing disappointment in his eyes.

That little bit*h had deserved it though! She needed to be taken down a notch!

Yes, but couldn't there have been another way? You are 100 times stronger than that human cow, and as Dad already said, you could've killed her. Would you still feel this way if you had?

Of course not, I thought, I would have felt terrible. As horrible as Cassie was, she didn't deserve to die.

And, if I was being honest with myself, she hadn't deserved my attacking her either. Her words had been nasty, but she was just an ignorant human child with no filter. It wasn't really her that set me off. She definitely didn't help, of course, with the way she constantly was insulting me, but I'd already been in a foul mood. She just happened to be the icing on the cake.

I gave a mild groan, not at all happy to admit that I had messed up. I still felt extremely angry with that slutbag for the things she'd said to me, but how could she know how truthful or hurtful her words were? She was just spitting out the first thing she could think of, and unfortunately for her she hit a spot that really struck to my core.

I looked at my dad now to find him giving me a kind and sympathetic smile. "Aren't you going to lecture me?" I asked in confusion, and he said, "Whatever I have to say can't be any worse than what you're telling yourself. Would you care to share?"

I gave a dismal sigh before repeating to him the argument I'd had in my head. Dad nodded his head understandingly, giving me a kiss on the forehead as he said, "I'm proud of you for realizing this on your own, Ali. I know it's not easy to admit being wrong, but you did it anyway."

My heart warmed at his praise, a small smile breaking out on my face. I don't think my dad really realized how much his respect and praise meant to all us kids. We regarded his opinion above anyone but Mom, and a mere few words of encouragement from him could lift our spirits on the most depressing of occasions as it did now.

"I'm sorry she hurt you," he then spoke in a caring voice. "Her words were cruel, especially in light of your past. I can understand how you could become infuriated with her, but as you've already acknowledged your response was the wrong one. You could easily have killed her."

I gave a nod of agreement before a question came to mind. "If I'd been human and attacked her would you still be angry with me?"

Dad gave a soft chuckle and then replied, "I'm not angry with you, angel, I'm disappointed, and the answer is yes. If you'd been human and acted the same way I'd still be warming your bottom. It's the same as when you get into fights with your siblings. You and Rose are both equals, but when you got into that fight several decades ago I still spanked the both of you."

"Oh, yeah, I guess that makes sense," I mumbled, beginning to feel the beginnings of anxiety over my impending punishment.

"Alice," Dad called, garnering my attention, "There are better ways of dealing with your anger. One of the things that really upsets me about today is that you didn't lose control. And what I mean was that this wasn't a loss of temper like what happened in your bedroom." I immediately looked down in shame at the referral, embarrassed by my behavior and what I'd done. Dad didn't like that so he tapped my chin making me focus my eyes on his once more. "You were in control, and I know that because that child is still alive. I'm not saying I would've preferred you to have lost control or anything, but what I'm saying is that you were well aware of what you were doing and in complete control of your actions. You wanted to hurt her."

"I did," I acknowledged, knowing there was no point in denying it.

"You could have exposed us, Alice," Dad simply stated in a factual tone. "You were so angry that you gave no thought to the consequences of what you did. I'm sure it was the shock of the moment, but I won't be surprised if there are people now wondering how it was that a small girl like yourself was able to give such a damaging punch without sustaining any damage."

I froze at his words, not having considered that at all. I immediately began searching our future grimacing when I saw a policeman coming to tell us Cassie's parents were pressing charges. Dad obviously noticed my reaction so I told him what I saw. He pursed his lips before just nodding his head. "Whatever comes will come," he sighed, and I felt incredibly guilty for having been the cause of more stress for him. Sometimes I wondered how my dad was able to hold up under all the stress he endured at times. He just had broad shoulders, I guessed.

"I'm sorry Dad," I apologized, "you're right, I didn't think about the consequences of my actions at all. I'm also sorry for how I acted in the office with the principal, but I'm not sorry that I was expelled. I was miserable there," I defended when he gave me an unimpressed look. "Cassie and her friend were constantly bullying me, calling me crazy and I just couldn't stand it anymore. I was lonely too. I don't like being alone," I whispered, cuddling up to him. He could understand that, right? I knew Dad didn't like to be alone either. I mean, he liked to isolate himself sometimes in his office or bedroom, but he always liked having at least one of us around. He'd had to go on business trips several times over the years, but he rarely stayed the full time because he just couldn't stand being away from us. It reminded him too much of his past prior to changing Edward. We never called him on it when he would give us excuses as to why he was back so soon. We all knew, and I'm pretty sure he knew that we knew but it wasn't something that we talked about.

As I expected, my Daddy the softy readily offered me comfort, sighing before saying, "I can understand that. But for the record, Alice, the behavior you exhibited at school was unacceptable and I never want to see that sort of disrespect and defiance ever again. That behavior is completely unbecoming of you. You have no idea how close I came to swatting you in that office, young lady," he scolded mildly.

"I'm sorry," I told him.

"I know," he said wearily, "I know."

"Look Alice," Dad then said, "you know what you did wrong, so I really see no reason to give you some long lecture. I realize there were extenuating circumstances, but your punishment remains the same. I will be spanking you, but because you have cooperated so well with me and been open and honest I will allow you a few days recovery time before doling this out.

I let out a loud groan as I lay my forehead on his chest. I really, _really_ was not looking forward to this spanking. Even with a few days to recover from the whipping I'd gotten today, I knew it was still going to hurt. Dad put his hand on the back of my head and rubbed it in comfort, but there wasn't anything he could really say to make this better. He wasn't going to not punish me, and there was no point in him telling me it wasn't going to hurt or anything stupid like that because we'd both know he was lying. Still…

"Don't you think today's whipping was enough, Daddy?" I asked, giving him a wide eyed pitiful look. "I've learned my lesson, I swear. I'm even sorry for what I did to Cassie and I promise I'll never attack a human or anyone ever again."

"You know the rules Alice," he responded sadly. "No fighting, and no making a spectacle of yourself in front of the humans. Breaking either one of those rules would have been enough to earn you a trip over my lap, but you did both. I will not let this go."

I groaned again, deciding to finally just resign myself to my fate. I'd put myself in this position so now I had to face the music. I gave my father one last mournful look, but after seeing the pain I was causing him I promptly looked away deciding enough was enough. I knew Dad hated spanking us, and my begging was only going to make this more difficult on him; and he already had enough going on as it was.

My thoughts were abruptly stopped when both my phone and Dad's began to vibrate. We both took them out and I saw that it was Jasper texting me to let me know that I could come back now. I figured Mom had texted Dad the same thing when he began to lift himself and me up to our feet.

"We'll talk more about your past later, Alice," Dad informed me, "but for now, just go spend some time with your mate. You both need each other right now."

I all too readily agreed and raced towards home, Dad not far behind. We arrived home in no time at all and after giving Dad one more quick hug I ran up to my room to find Jasper standing by our window. He turned when I walked in and gave me a small grin to let me know he was alright. I let out a sigh of relief before then rushing into his arms.

"How bad was it?" I asked him, and he gave a light shrug.

"Not too horrible," he drawled. "Mama sure wasn't happy with me, but I'm alright. Certainly betta off than you are, darlin'."

I waved away his concern before asking him what happened. He explained everything he'd talked about with Mom, glossing over the punishment. "It was quite an enlightenin' conversation," he said, "and I think it'll definitely help me keep myself under control the next time yer in trouble."

"I definitely hope so, Jazzy, because I hate seeing you land yourself in the hot seat every time I'm being punished," I responded.

"Me too," he stated with a slight smirk before turning serious. "Now that you know what happened with me why don't you tell me what happened at school, and about attackin' Mom and Dad."

I withheld a sigh at once more having to tell this story, but Jasper definitely deserved to know not only because he was my husband, but because maybe he'd understand that I really did deserve my whipping today and a spanking in a few days time. I told him about Cassie, what she'd said and what I'd done. I recounted the talk with the principal and how I'd been expelled before going on to talk about my disrespect with our parents. With more difficulty I told him about the temper tantrum I'd had and how I'd shoved Mom and bitten Dad. I left out only one detail, and that was how many licks I'd gotten with the belt. I knew Jasper was working on his control, but I didn't want to push it, especially with how our parents were both feeling so stressed today.

I could feel his disbelief and shock when I finished my tale. He was extremely saddened by all that'd happened and upset that he hadn't been here for any of it, but I assured him that it was for the best. "I was in a temper, Jazz and I would've lashed out at even you, and I'd already done enough of that. As much as I hate to admit it, I really did earn myself every bit of that whipping Dad gave me, and the spanking that's yet to come. I screwed up Jasper, and I have to accept the consequences of my actions. You'd do the same, I know you would," I said, and though he didn't want to agree, he knew I spoke the truth, so he nodded.

"Yer right," he agreed, holding me close and placing a gentle, loving kiss on my lips. "Is Papa at least giving you some time ta recova before givin' you the other spankin?" he questioned.

"Yes," I answered. "He's going to give me a couple days. I doubt I'll be completely healed by then, but it's better than getting it again tomorrow night." Jasper looked grim as he once more nodded his head in agreement. He was very clearly not happy, but he was managing to keep a hold of his protective instinct, at least right now. I only hoped he wouldn't do anything dumb when it came time to receive my just desserts.

"I need to go talk with Dad," Jasper informed me, and I tensed, saying, "You don't have to do that, I already told you I deserve"—

"No, Ali, you misunderstand," he interjected softly, "I've gotta apologize to him for how I've acted, an there's just some things we need ta discuss."

Oh, I thought in relief. "That's a really good idea," I responded. "And maybe, maybe you'll be able to help him out." I bit my lip at what I was thinking. I'd promised Dad I wouldn't try and stop him, so technically I hadn't lied as I was sending Jasper to do the convincing.

Jasper furrowed his brow in confusion. "What d'ya mean help him out? What's wrong?"

"Dad is extremely upset right now. He's blaming himself for everything that's wrong with our family, meaning what we're going through, Emmett and Rosalie leaving, Edward leaving, and abandoning Bella. He told me he failed us, and I know he's not completely faultless, but he's putting too much on himself. We all make our own decisions and he can't be held responsible for every little thing that's gone wrong. Talk to him and see if he'll open up to you. Maybe you'll be able to help him forgive himself."

My husband gave a serious nod, his eyes turning concerned. "I'll do what I can, love, but Dad and I are a lot alike, y'know. If he's got it in his head that he's done somethin' wrong, especially of this magnitude, he ain't gonna forgive himself easily. This is more Mama's area of expertise. She's the best at getting' Papa to see sense."

"I agree, but Mom is too angry with Dad right now to be much help to him. You see, she blames him as well for the position we're in. She's hurting too, worrying herself sick over us and everybody else. She's been bottling up this resentment for a while, you told me so yourself."

"Yes," Jasper said, "I've felt her growing resentment and worry over the past several months, and I was pretty certain it was directed towards Dad."

"Well it definitely is, so while you go talk with Dad I'll go talk with Mom and see if we can't get those two to talk to each other. I want this to end peacefully because Daddy is planning on asking for a whipping from Mom he's so racked with guilt.

Jasper's eyebrows rose in surprise, his concern mounting. We both clearly remembered the last and only time our father had been physically disciplined by our mother. We hadn't witnessed the event, but we'd seen the aftermath. We'd seen how distraught Dad was and how much pain he'd been in. I knew he didn't want to go through with this, but he really felt he deserved this punishment. I recalled the fear that entered his eyes and the slight trembling of his body as he made the decision. Despite his obvious fear he was going to ask for it.

"We betta get started then," Jasper stated, giving me one last kiss, deeper and more loving than the previous. "I'll deal with Dad while you see if you can sort out Mom. Good luck."

"You too," I said before exiting our room and heading towards our parent's room. I wasn't quite sure what I was going to say, but I knew I needed to get Mom at least calm enough to talk with Dad. In my vision I'd seen her agree to whip Dad, but with the amount of anger I'd seen her exhibiting in that vision I was afraid she'd really hurt Dad. I didn't want Dad to suffer through a whipping so I was hoping I could forewarn my mother against this. Hopefully I could convince her not to agree to Dad's plan, but we'd just have to see.

**A/N: **So, Daddy C has decided he's deserving of some discipline! I'd say he definitely deserves some! Next chapter we'll have a little Carlisle/Esme talk and then a nice Carlisle/Jasper talk to help smooth things over between those two.

PLEASE REVIEW!


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Twilight

**Warning: **This story contains disciplinary spanking, so don't read or flame if this offends you.

**A/N: **Carlisle has a heated chat with Esme and then an enlightening discussion with Jasper. Enjoy!

**Chapter 10: Tell it Like it Is**

**Carlisle's POV:**

I felt my heart lighten a little as I watched Alice race up the stairs to Jasper. No doubt they would have a joyful, loving reunion. I on the other hand expected nothing of the sort as I sought out my own mate. Walking by my office I noticed she was still inside, sitting on the couch with her head in her hands.

While what I really wanted to just rush in and pull her into my arms, I knew that wouldn't go over well at this time, so instead I decided to just give a quiet knock on my own door to alert her of my presence.

Esme gave a snort of amusement not even bothering to lift her head to look at me before dryly stating, "Carlisle, this is not only your home, but your office so really there is no need for you to knock. Just come in."

I gave a brief smile at her words, before going to close my door behind me. As I did, that was when I noticed a large crack on it, the epicenter looking suspiciously like a handprint. "What happened to my door?" I couldn't help but asked in bewilderment.

That definitely garnered my wife's attention, for she finally decided to look at me with an apologetic expression. "I'm sorry Carlisle, I misjudged my strength. Jasper was readying to run out that door after you when I decided to slam it shut. I was trying to make a point with him, but I used a little too much force. I'll have it replaced as soon as possible, don't worry."

I gave a mute nod, really having no idea what to even say. It wasn't as though I was attached to the door in anyway, and her explanation made sense. At least it wasn't my desk. My desk was nearly as old as me, and I'd had it for nearly two centuries already. It was the only piece of furniture I held onto as we moved from place to place, and I was rather attached to it.

I left the doorway and walked towards Esme deciding to sit in the armchair across from her rather than on the couch with her. I really didn't need Jasper's gift to feel the tense atmosphere in here.

"How did it go?" I ventured to ask. "Alice told me he took it better than we expected."

My wife let out a sigh, and I felt saddened at the weariness and guilt in her eyes. She was beating herself up over this punishment already and I ached to comfort her. This is why I didn't want her to do this. This is why I never wanted her to spank any of the children. She took these punishments so much harder than I did.

"Esme, please tell me what happened," I asked after she failed to answer me. She finally looked me in the eyes and seemed to collect herself before recounting what happened. Apparently it had started out just as badly as we'd expected, but after my wife's show of dominance as my son tried to leave, the boy seemed to have regained some sense. I wasn't sure if either one of them realized, but I knew exactly what happened in that moment. I'd known Jasper had never held Esme in the same regard as me. He loved her dearly, yes, but when it came to her as an authority figure he never held the same level of respect for her as he did me. In that little moment though, Esme had shown him exactly how authoritative she could be. Just because she didn't like to display her dominant side as often as I did, did not mean she was incapable or lacking in any regards. She just had too big of a heart to be able to come down hard on her babies as often as I did. That is what must've changed Alice's visions.

My wife then went on to explain their conversation, and I found myself quite intrigued and even slightly envious of my wife as it seemed she had managed to get to the root of our soldier's problem when I had failed so many times before. At the same time I also felt pride in her for how she had dealt with our boy, and pride in Jasper for finally opening up.

"When it came time to deliver his spanking, he fought me a little," Esme informed, giving me an unidentifiable look as she said, "his problem was much the same as yours. He'd never been disciplined by a female and his pride suffered. He told me he was afraid I was incapable of being on hard on him as you, but really it was just pride."

Her tone was angry and disgusted, but with the way she was currently staring right at me, I knew those emotions weren't directed towards Jasper but at me; and I also knew we weren't quite talking about his punishment anymore either so much as were talking about what I'd done. Although, I wasn't sure pride had anything to do with my mistake, she seemed to think differently.

"Esme," I decided to say, "Can we please talk about what happened earlier today?" I felt perhaps this might be the easier topic to address rather than how I'd essentially allowed our family to fall apart.

"What is there to talk about?" she asked back frostily, and I had to fight back a cringe at not only the anger in her eyes, but the hurt.

"I'm sorry, I should not have spoken to you in that tone. I know I promised you I never would"—I attempted to apologize, but she cut me off, saying, "Tell me something Carlisle, and don't you dare lie to me. Do you regret at all the punishment you gave Alice?"

I blinked, caught off guard by this question, not quite understanding why she asked. "No," I answered honestly. "I gave her exactly what she deserved. Why do you ask? Do you feel I was too"—

I didn't get to finish my question as she once more cut me off. "What I feel or think doesn't really matter, does it," she stated more than asked. "You do as you please because, of course, you always know best."

I frowned, feeling hurt and angry that she would think such things. Hadn't I proven already how much I valued her opinion? "How can you say such things, Esme? You know how much I value your opinion."

My wife's expression turned angry, her eyes flashing as she snapped, "Then why is it you felt the need to _order_ me to not interfere? You did not issue a request, you gave me an order I could not refuse. That is not how this relationship works, Carlisle Cullen! You should have stopped what you were doing that instant and talked to me as my husband! I understand Alice seriously overstepped her bounds. I understand she deserved to be taken down several notches, but our daughter was not the only one who overstepped their bounds in that room," she hissed icily, and I stiffened, not at all appreciating what she was implying.

"I was in complete control of myself, and don't you dare suggest otherwise," I retorted in growing anger. "I in no way abused that child, and you saw that for yourself!"

"Alice was trembling with fear, begging you not to"—she was arguing when this time I cut her off.

"Begging me not to whip her, but what did you expect her to do?" I asked with a snort of disbelief. "Of course she didn't want to be whipped, nobody ever does. It hurts. It hurts _a lot,_ but that is why it is my worst punishment. I want the kids to be afraid of my belt because the situations that will subject them to it are ones I really want to avoid. You know very well I only use it as a last resort, and even when I do I give them very few licks with it."

"You gave Alice _ten_ with it," she stated as she shot me a glare. "You have never given any of the children that many, and after the spanking you'd already given her, that was too much."

"She received exactly what she deserved, and if you'd stop accusing me for five seconds I could tell you that they were ten of the lightest swats I've ever given with that belt. Of course, to her already tender backside I'm sure it didn't feel like it, but I could've been harder on her," I defended, suddenly furious at the way she was attacking me. I wasn't one to deny my wrong doings, and I knew that I hadn't been too rough with my daughter. The fact that she felt I had infuriated and hurt me deeply. It was as though I had lost her trust, and I wondered when that had happened.

Esme let out a sigh before saying, "I'm glad to hear that, but I'm still not happy with how rough and cold you became with her. The reason I intercepted when I did was because I wanted you to step away from the situation enough to reign in your anger a bit. Alice was absolutely terrified and panicking as you dragged her to the bed. How do you think she would have taken that whipping at that point? Would you still have gone as light if I hadn't interfered when I had? Alice told me that after I left you seemed to calm down some, at least enough to assuage her terror and make sure she knew exactly what landed her in that position. If I hadn't tried to stop you, could you honestly say you still would have done that?"

My mind whirled as I considered her words, and I was quite horrified when I realized the truth in them. She was right. If she hadn't interfered I would've whipped my girl despite her obvious terror, and that would've been a horrible mistake. I'd felt I was in control at the time, but I hadn't quite realized how close to the edge I had been. I'd stepped into the role of coven leader at that point, and it was a role I very rarely ever took on as it was all too easy to lose control. I'd been furious with my daughter, and while it was nothing compared to how I'd been with Emmett, it could've easily reached that point. When Esme had tried to stop me, I'd without thought ordered her not to interfere. The shock of what I'd done to my wife brought me back to myself, and I hadn't even realized it.

I laid my head in my hands briefly and gripped my hair tightly. I'd like to think that even if Esme hadn't done that that I would have been just fine, but now I didn't know. I didn't like not knowing.

"Why did you leave if you felt I was going to overdo it?" I eventually asked, looking over at my wife.

She'd seemed to have calmed down somewhat as she replied, "Because I saw the look in your eyes after you issued that order to me. You were horrified by what you'd done, but more importantly you were yourself again. You were my husband and father to my children, not my coven leader. You further proved that when you asked me to go look for Jasper. I trust my husband, but I don't quite trust my coven leader."

I flinched at those words as I said, "We're the same person."

"In a way," Esme replied with a slight nod of her head. "But when you take on the role of coven leader you allow so much of your vampire self out that I fear you won't be able to control it."

"I can," I declared in sudden confidence. "I can control that side of me." I wasn't going to let her doubt get to me. I knew myself, and I knew that I wouldn't have taken it too far with Alice even if Esme hadn't interfered.

"I hope you're right," she replied.

We sat in an uncomfortable silence for several moments, each staring into the other's eyes before I decided to speak. "I am deeply sorry that I hurt you with my actions, Esme. I had no right to speak to you in the manner that I did, _but_," I felt I had to add, "You need to trust that I know what I'm doing, and that I know my limits. I swore to you after what I did to Emmett that I would _never_ cross that line again, and I meant it. You should have more faith in me."

Esme narrowed her eyes at my words as she responded in a cool tone, "You're right, Carlisle, I should have more faith in you; however, look where that faith has landed us. Look at where my faith in you has put this family." And with those words, she stood up and just left my office, clearly feeling this discussion was over.

I stood up as well, wanting to lash back at her before managing to reign in that childish desire. Her words had been like a stab to the heart, but she was right. Her faith in me had been terribly shaken. She had trusted me to keep this family together and safe, and I'd failed. I wondered how long she had been keeping these words and emotions locked up. We'd been a bit distant with each other over these past several months, each of us buried in our own work, but she'd given no indication to harboring such anger towards me up until I punished Alice. I didn't understand, and I wasn't about to go ask her either. I was suddenly afraid to approach my wife, not sure I could handle anymore of her anger.

I looked about my office, letting out a low growl of distress. I was starting to feel enclosed and trapped. My anxiety kicked up a notch, and feeling a sudden need to escape these restricting quarters I headed towards my balcony.

**Jasper's POV:**

I made my way to where my dad's office was and was surprised when I saw no one inside. My brow scrunched in confusion as I knew he wasn't in his bedroom. Using my gift I attempted to see if I could feel him, and when I could I was surprised to feel it coming from above me. My brow furrowed in confusion. I glanced over towards his balcony at this point and noted the opened doors, and suddenly his location became very clear. He was on the roof.

I could say I was surprised by his location, but truthfully I wasn't. As civilized as my father was, he liked his open spaces. He didn't like bein' cooped up inside for too long, which is why in every house we owned his bedroom and office always had huge windows and a balcony. Emmett and I were the same way, really, and I guessed it had ta do with our human lives. All of us as humans spent most our time outside in the open air workin' or playin'. The only time you spent inside, really, was for school, eating, and sleeping. I knew Dad was upset and stressed right now not just because Alice told me but because I could feel it. He'd probably started to feel trapped in here and escaped to the outside to clear his head. I certainly understood that need as I'd done it myself a number of times.

Taking a breath I stepped out onto the balcony and swiftly began climbing up towards the roof. When I got there I easily spotted my dad lying down with his eyes closed. I noticed for the first time that the bottom hem of his shirt was not only untucked but torn, and I also noted the white bandage on his wrist, marking the spot where my beloved had bitten him. He looked unkempt which was very unlike my father, but only further served to accentuate that something was botherin' him. Since he didn't acknowledge my presence I wasn't sure if he was aware I was here, so not wanting to startle him by approaching, I instead called out, "Permission to come on the roof, sir?"

I smiled when I heard him give a brief chuckle of amusement before he called back, "Granted." I made my way over to him and watched as he sat himself up, bringing one knee to his chest and wrapping an arm around it. "Mama put you in the doghouse?" I teased, but evidently this wasn't the time for such jokes because his face fell slightly while his emotions became distressed.

"Sorry," I told him apologetically, and he just waved his hand dismissively letting me know he wasn't upset with me. I sat down next to him, barely stifling a groan at how sore my bum suddenly felt.

"Not what you expected from her, was it?" Dad asked out of the blue, and I looked to see him giving me a knowing look.

"No," I responded in embarrassment. "She's tougher than she looks."

"Yes, I am well aware," he responded, and I had no doubt that he really did.

"I'm sorry for the way I acted before, Papa," I decided to say. "I was horribly disrespectful to ya, and I don't see how ya can forgive me. I displayed no trust in ya and I openly defied you. Truthfully, ya have every right to give me another lickin' for my deplorable behavior."

I felt frustration and increased sadness come from my father before he spoke in a calm voice. "Jasper, your mother already punished you for your behavior, and I have already forgiven you."

"But how can you?" I asked disbelievingly. "The level of disrespect I displayed was"—

"Appalling," he interjected, "yes, I know, I was there. But you have already apologized and been punished, so there is no need to continue to beat yourself up over this. Truthfully, son, while appalling, your behavior wasn't really a surprise. I know how you get when Alice is in trouble."

I frowned as I said, "That doesn't make me feel any betta, Papa. In fact, I feel worse."

"Well," Dad said, giving me a semi-apologetic look, "it kind of wasn't meant to. I don't like to hurt you son, physically or emotionally, but I feel that perhaps if I'm completely honest with you right now, then maybe you'll start to work a little harder at controlling that temper of yours."

I felt trepidation at his words, afraid of what he was going to say, but also feeling that I deserved to hear whatever he had to say.

Carlisle looked away from me at this point, setting his chin on his knee as he stared off into the distant. His emotions were being cut off from me, and I realized he was trying to minimize as much as possible the damage his words may cause me. "We have known each other for over 60 years son, and yet you still are distrustful of me."

"I do trust ya," I started to say, but he gave me a silencing look before resuming his former position.

"Your mother told me about your talk, and I wonder son, why it has taken you so long to admit this. I wonder why time and time again you lose your temper with me when I do something you don't approve of. I wonder why you always feel you need to defend Alice from me, always assuming that I've been to harsh with her. You want to know what I think, Jasper?" he asked rhetorically. "I think you don't trust me, at least not fully. After all these years you are still waiting for the other shoe to drop. You are still waiting for me to screw up. And not only do you not fully trust me, but you lack respect for my position, because why else would you so often question my decisions? I'm not just talking about today, mind you. I don't mean to hurt your feelings, Jasper, but I'm sure you've felt the way you have hurt mine."

I listened to what he said, upset that he felt that way, and angry with myself for being the cause. I could see why he would think all this, but it wasn't true. I did trust and respect him.

"Papa, I swear I do trust you and I do respect you, please, you gotta believe that. None of what I've done is because of you, it's because I can't always control myself," I explained, maneuvering myself to where I was crouching down in front of him, so I could make sure he was looking at me. "I have neva trusted nor respected any person in my life as much as I do you, and that's the god honest truth." I looked him square in the eye as I said this and willed him to see the sincerity in my eyes and tone. I would've used my gift, but he knew I could lie with my gift and I didn't want there to be any doubt. He stared right back at me, his look calculating yet revealing nothing of what he was thinking or feeling. When he stayed silent I felt it best to continue speaking.

"I got serious issues with my control, you know that. I spent about the first ninety years of my vampire life doing as I pleased and makin' no attempt whatsoeva to control my instincts. Then one day I immerse myself in a world that's all about control, and y'all make it seem so darn _easy_, but I've neva been able to control myself like y'all seem to. I still struggle with my thirst, having more near accidents than I've eva cared to admit to you. And not only do I struggle with my thirst but I struggle with controlling all my vampire instincts. So much of my life I had to rely heavily on those instincts to stay alive, but now I don't need 'em and I don't know how to turn them off."

I felt relief when I finally began to see emotion in my father's eyes, especially when those emotions were compassion and understanding. "I know you're my dad," I continued to speak, looking away briefly in shame, "but I still can't stop myself from seeing you as my coven leader. I know you rarely allow yerself to embrace that role, but when you do, yer rather frightening," I admitted, and I felt guilty when I saw his eyes turned pained. That's not what I was aiming for, but I had to continue speaking. "Don't feel bad or nuthin, Papa, you do what ya gotta when you need to, and sometimes you gotta come down on us as our coven leader and not our father, but I-I'm always in the back of my mind slightly worried that when you do step into that role that you'll be like Maria."

This time my father was unable to hide his emotions because I felt his pain and agony at what I'd said. His eyes were closed and his hand was pinching his nose. He was hurting desperately, and I cursed myself for choosing this time to be honest with him. I'd basically told him I trusted him, and then kind of told him that I didn't. Way to go Major, brilliant pep talk.

"Papa, please don't feel bad, I'm sorry, I really am. I don't mean ta feel this way, but it's just—I got a vampire memory, and I ain't eva gonna forget what life was like in Maria's coven, and in my heart I _know_ ya'd neva be like her, but my head don't always listen to my heart," I stated, putting my hands on his shoulders. He opened his eyes, and I could tell he was trying to pull himself together, but it wasn't working. I couldn't stand this. I couldn't stand seeing him fall apart like this.

"Let me help you," I begged, "Let me use my gift to help you, Papa, cuz I can't stand watchin' you suffer like this." I knew better than to force my gift on him, so I asked, hoping to God he'd agree. It seemed God was listening, because after takin' in a shaky breath, he nodded his head. I responded by immediately wrapping my arms around him, letting him feel my love and pride in him while at the same time wrapping the both of us in soothing waves. My dad returned my hug full force, letting out a sigh of content when my gift did its magic.

"I love you and I'm so sorry my words hurt ya. That was neva my intent. You are the best father and leader I ever coulda asked for, and I wouldn't trade you for anyone," I declared strongly. "Now please stop beatin' yerself up over my damned issues."

"I love you too, Jasper," my father finally was able to say, and now I felt his love and pride for me. "Thank you so much for telling me all of this, I needed to hear it, and thank you for the help." We hugged each other for a few more moments before letting go. I was extremely gratified to see my father looking a little more upbeat. He was still obviously sufferin', but he didn't look ready to break down anymore.

"I'm sorry," I couldn't help but repeat one more time, and Dad shook his head before ruffling my hair a little. "Stop apologizing for telling me how you feel. Apologize instead for keeping this to yourself for so long. I really wish you would have told me this sooner, soldier, because I could've helped you."

"I'm sorry for keeping this from ya," I said, "but I just didn't think there was anythin' ya could do. This is something I gotta deal with on my own."

"No," Dad disagreed, "this is something you never have to deal with on your own. Son, your control is amazing," he stated, and I gave a snort of disbelief. "It truly is," he insisted. "What your issue really is, is your self confidence. You don't believe you have good control, and that is what causes you problems. You're also afraid of your vampire self when you shouldn't be. You're constantly trying to deny it and what you are because you think it's wrong, but that's only made things worse for you."

I was confused now, not understanding what he was saying. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"You are a vampire, Jasper, and that is nothing to be ashamed of," he declared firmly. "Your instincts aren't something to bury or be afraid of. They are a part of you and if you try to deny them or ignore them, then that only makes it easier for them to take control. You are stronger than this, and I've seen it time and time again. Just look at how well you do in school, son. Not only do you handle your own thirst, but you handle your siblings' thirst as well. You feel what they feel yet you have never lost control."

I felt taken aback by his words, never having looked at it like that. "When you're not over thinking it, your control is perfect. It's only when you doubt yourself and start to become afraid that you tend to lose control. You stop fighting and allow yourself to fail because that's what you expect is going to happen."

"Okay, so maybe I am stronger than I thought, but that still don't explain how I am always lashin' out at ya when Alice is in trouble," I argued.

"That's a slightly different matter," Dad responded. "From what you've told me and what you told your mother this is more than just a matter of you losing control of your instincts. You've always harbored a fear of Alice being hurt. You felt we punished her as roughly as we do you sometimes, and you doubted your own mate's strength. Also, as you just admitted you've been afraid of me losing control with her," he said, sadness entering his voice.

I opened my mouth to apologize, but he just tapped my chin firmly as he said, "Don't apologize. You have every right to worry because of the past you've led, and because I did once lose control."

"I still shouldn't doubt you. That was a onetime thing, I know it was, and I know you'd neva hurt any of us," I rushed to say, and he gave me a small smile before responding. "I know, Jasper, and as you already told me, you know in your heart that I wouldn't, but your mind is another matter; and that's okay, I understand."

"You shouldn't have ta understand. I do you a great disservice by feeling any bit of doubt in you." I had to argue, and Dad just sighed.

"You can't always help what you feel, Jasper, you know that. Once again, as you told me yourself, your past experiences influence you, and unfortunately I doubt they will ever stop just as all our pasts influence us. I will never stop fearing that I will turn into my father, and nor will I ever stop fearing that someday I will be alone again. Traumas are hard to overcome, and all you can do is learn to deal with it, or at least have someone who can knock some sense into you from time to time. Esme is quite skilled at getting me to see reason, as I'm sure Alice is with you. And you always have the rest of the family if Alice's methods aren't enough for you," Dad remarked seriously.

I absorbed his words, taking them in slowly as I started to sense the truth in them. I finally just gave a single nod to my father to show my acceptance of what he said.

"Back to your protective instincts with Alice, this isn't really you losing control. You have truly felt fear for her, irrational as it is, so that is why you have always reacted as you have. After the talk you had with Esme and now me, I hope that you will use that brilliant head of yours and temper down on those instincts," he told me.

I bit my lip, fearful that I would let him down and fearful that I still wouldn't be able to control myself. "What if I can't stop myself," I had to voice. "What if the next time ya spank Alice I still react the same?"

"You won't," Dad stated, and I gave him a confused look as I asked, "How do you know?"

"Things are different this time," he answered.

"Not that different," I retorted. "What if I fail? What if I can't control myself? I don't wanna let you or Mom down again, but like I said, I'm not good at"—

"And there's that self doubt," Dad interrupted. "You have to stop that. You have more control than you think, and you do yourself a disservice by thinking so negatively. You need to learn to have faith in yourself, and if that doesn't work, then have faith in me. I believe in you. I have the utmost confidence in you. You will not fail," he told, and I could tell from the look in his eyes and his emotions that he really believed what he was saying. I felt my confidence build, but I still couldn't get rid of all my doubt.

"What if I'm hopeless though, Papa?" I questioned, and he closed his eyes briefly letting out a long sigh. When he opened them he gave me a long scrutinizing look, so long in fact that I began to fidget from the intensity of his stare. He was thinkin' about something, but what that something was I had no idea.

"I really wish you would have just believed me son, because you're not going to enjoy what I'm going to do to end this apparent lack of control of yours," Dad finally announced, looking rather disheartened.

I felt a sudden sense of foreboding as I asked, "What are you going to do?"

"You'll have to wait and see," he answered cryptically, once again looking quite weary. "Consider it my portion of your punishment for your behavior today, and before you ask, no, it's not a spanking."

My mind raced to try and figure out what he could be talking about but I came up clueless. "When is this going to happen?" I asked, feeling suddenly quite anxious.

"In a few days," he answered, and I had to ask back, "Why not now?"

He just shook his head, a sad smile on his lips as he said, "Because it can't." What kind of an answer was that, I thought in bewilderment. Why was he being so cryptic? Why not tell me what the punishment would be? And why put it off? I hated having to wait for a punishment because I would end up dwellin' on what I'd done and just making myself feel worse. He knew this, but maybe that was the punishment, or at least part of it. Arrghh! I wish he'd just tell me!

I frowned, crossing my arms and giving Dad an irritated look that turned into a glare when he began to laugh softly. "Are you pouting, soldier?"

"No," I retorted hotly, quickly morphing my expression into a calmer one.

Dad just shook his head, giving a brief smile before saying in a serious voice, "Since we are both being honest with each other, Jasper, I would like to bring up something that's bothered me for some time now."

I gave him a curious look as I waited for him to continue speaking.

"For as long as we've known each other you've had this tendency to stop calling me Dad whenever you're angry with me. Now, I want you to know that you don't have to call me that if you don't want to. I know you view me as your father, and I won't be offended if you choose not to. However, what I ask is that you pick a name and stick to it," Dad spoke, giving me a somewhat stern look. "If you want to call me Dad, then call me Dad, and if you want to call me Carlisle, then call me Carlisle. Don't do as you did today, calling me Dad at one point and then Carlisle at another, uttering my name as one would a curse word. I don't like it, I don't appreciate it, it's disrespectful, and it's hurtful."

While I hadn't been expecting him to bring this up I really couldn't say I was surprised. When I slipped to calling him by his given name I did it as a way to distance myself from him and how much he meant to me. I didn't want to think of him as my father, so I called him Carlisle. And to make things worse, I'd childishly utter it like an insult just to hurt him. I felt deeply ashamed of myself for the childish action and found it difficult to meet Dad's eyes anymore.

"I'm sorry, Dad, I-I am terribly ashamed of myself for doing that. I wish I could say I didn't realize what I was doin' or that I didn't mean nuthin' by it, but we both know that ain't true," I responded in regret. "I was trying to justify my actions to myself by demeaning yer position in my life while at the same time put you down. It was a horribly immature thing for me to do, and ya have my word that it won't eva happen again. You are my father and I will call and treat you with the respect you deserve."

"That's all I ask," he responded with a kind smile, and I knew that I was forgiven. Giving me a clap on the shoulder he then said, "Now as much as I enjoy your company, son, isn't there someone who would be enjoying it more than me?" he asked somewhat teasingly, and I let out a small laugh.

"Well, yeah, but she's busy talkin' with Mama now, and I needed to talk to you," I answered, confused when I saw him frown. "Alice is talking with Esme?" he pressed, and I could feel that he wasn't happy about that, which made me wonder if he knew the reasoning behind my pixie's visit. I nodded my head, and although I felt a flash of betrayal, it was gone as quick as it came, along with any displeasure. He no doubt has just talked himself out of jumping to conclusions.

"So did we cover everything you wanted to talk about yet, or is there something else you wanted to discuss?" Dad then asked, and though his tone was curious I could feel the barest hint of wariness from him. He was starting to guess as to what else I wanted to talk about.

"Something else," I answered, recalling the second reason I'd come here. I was to help him overcome his guilt so he wouldn't feel the need to ask our Mama for a whippin'. Truthfully even before I came up here I didn't think I'd succeed, but after our little chat I was rather certain I wouldn't. I understood completely how he was feeling, and I knew with the level of guilt he was experiencin' that mere words weren't gonna cut it. I'd love to tell him that he wasn't at fault for our situation, and that everything was just dandy, but that'd be a lie. Truth was, unfortunately, that he had messed up. Not as bad as he was allowin' himself to believe probably, but he'd allowed this family to fall to pieces. He had to be tearin' himself apart at that thought, and his guilt had to be so bad that he couldn't deal with it on his own. If he was considerin' asking my mother for a chastisement, then I didn' think there was much help I could be because clearly he already knew that forgiveness would only come with punishment, and that wasn't something I could give him.

I had my dad's full attention now, and as I shifted a bit on the roof, settling down onto my knees I wasn't so sure how to go about this without throwin' my Alice under the bus. There really was no way, unless I didn't bring up his desire to seek out my mama for punishment. I could say I felt his guilt or that I knew something was really bothering him. Hmmm. Yeah, that would work best.

"I don't wanna overstep my bounds, Dad," I started respectfully, "but I can't help but have noticed how out o' sorts you seem to be today, and not just because of the all the fuss me and Alice have kicked up. I know I've said plenty o' hurtful things today, and so has Alice, but the level of pain and _guilt _you are feelin' just don't make sense to me. What's wrong, Papa?"

Dad narrowed his eyes at me for a bit before letting out a huff of breath and running a hand through blonde hair. I gathered he'd done that motion a lot today as his hair had a permanently slicked back look to it, only a few strands falling in front of his face. "First off, you've overstepped no bounds. You felt that I've been distressed and you have every right to ask," he told me, and I nodded my head, wondering if there was a 'but' in there that meant he wasn't going to confide in me. It certainly seemed like it from the way his lips were pressed together and the conflicted look in his eyes.

"Tell me something, son," he eventually spoke, his amber eyes meeting mine, "what has been your opinion of me these past few months? Do you feel I have lived up to your expectations of me as not only your father, but leader as well, or have I fallen short of the mark?"

Awww, Dad, I sighed internally as I caught the desperate look in his eyes. He knew that I wouldn't sugarcoat anything for him. He knew that I wouldn't lie to him, especially about something this important. It wasn't in my nature, and he deserved to know.

"Well, Papa," I began slowly, taking in a deep breath before fully facing him, "I have ta admit that I've been a might bit disappointed with the way things have been." Dad's eyes tightened slightly as he gave a single nod, but I got very little off of him in the way of emotions. Probably because he had already anticipated my response.

"Why?" he pressed, and I withheld a sigh, once more understanding his need to know.

"Leavin' Forks was an awful mistake. I know I'm partly to blame and that I was all for it, but after having seen how quickly our family fell apart afterwards," I grimaced, giving a shake of my head before saying, "it was the dumbest idea eva. How could ya have given in to Edward's demands so easily?" I had to ask, beginning to feel a bit of anger towards him. "It was almost as though Edward was in charge of this family rather than you the way he completely took control, dictating when we left, denying us the chance to say good-bye to Bella, and forbidding us from contactin' her or checkin' in on her. What gives, Papa? This is _your _family, not Edward's, but you bended to his will with very little fight, and I don't understand that." I paused momentarily, allowing my father time to defend himself.

"I agree with everything you've said, Jasper," Dad responded. "I made a horrible mistake when I gave in to Edward. The only reason I can give for having done it is that I was afraid he would do something rash or leave us for good if I didn't. I was afraid of losing him," he admitted shamefully. "That's no excuse, I know that, and I realize how awful this must seem from your point of view, almost like I value Edward above any of you, but that's not true."

"I know that, we all know that," I assured the man. But we all also knew that Edward held a special place in our father's heart. He was not only his first-born, but his first companion after centuries of aching loneliness. Edward was the first member of his family and had been there as Carlisle had first learned to be a father and then a husband. There was a bond between them that none of us would ever have. That didn't mean our bonds to Dad were any less strong, it was just very different.

"And I also realize how idiotic my actions were considering that not two months later Edward left us," Dad continued, and I felt anger and disappointment flare in him, no doubt directed towards my youngest brother. Good, I couldn't help but think.

"Em and Rose left cuz they couldn't handle how tense things were here, Edward left for who knows what reason, and I'm sorry," I said, "but I haven't been able to stop myself from thinkin' at times that you really didn't care about this family with how easily ya allowed it to fall apart. Mom, Alice and I have all been here, but we haven't been much of a family. Alice and I have been distant and avoidin' each other while you and Mama have been doin' the same thing. Moms angry with you, Dad, she has been for quite some time now," I stated, and he threw me a startled look.

"She has?" he gasped, looking caught off guard.

"It's been growing very slowly since we left Forks, but after today it's gone up several notches. She no doubt feels the same way I have and Alice has," I told him, knowing full well that I was doing exactly the opposite of what my mate had sent me here for. However, it wasn't entirely my fault. Dad asked for my opinion and I was honor bound to give it. If he was to learn from his mistakes, then he needed to know what those mistakes were. He knew that. I knew that.

I watched as he grappled with this new bit of information. I wondered how he hadn't noticed, but then I figured Mom must've been doing a helluva job of hiding it from him. Knowing my mama, she no doubt felt incredibly guilty for her thoughts, but after today it seemed that everythin' had changed.

"Thank you for your honesty," he eventually spoke, his voice a bit hoarse, "I needed to hear this."

I nodded my head to show understanding, although the look I was giving him was apologetic and concerned. I wanted him to know that I didn't want to tell him that, and that I hadn't wanted to hurt him. He seemed to get the message because he offered me a paternal smile as he gripped my shoulder. I know, his eyes seemed to say, and I relaxed only minutely because I could feel his self-hatred and guilt. I cringed slightly when I also felt anxiety and fear, and an all too familiar feeling of my stomach twisting with nerves. I knew where his mind had to be at that point, and I really couldn't help but send him a small dose of calm and love. His eyes snapped to mine the second he felt them, and I was glad to see appreciation rather than anger in them.

I felt the sudden urge to comfort him in some form or way, but what could I do to alleviate this level of guilt? Alice wanted me to talk him out of this course of action, but truthfully, if I were in his shoes right now no amount of dissuasion would work with me. I'd want penance just like him. Sorry Ali, I couldn't help but think, really hoping that she wouldn't be upset with me.

Seeing the continued look of misery on Dad's face, I sent him a larger dose of love along with a bit of confidence as I began to speak. "You know you messed up, Papa, ya didn't need me ta tell you that, but it's gonna be alright. We're all strong, and it'll take more than a little strife to keep this family apart. Emmett and Rose will come back, and even Edward will as well once he's done pulin' his head outta of his bum. Alice is doin' much betta now that she's talked with you, and I'm doin' just fine. Accept that you messed up, but don't tear yerself apart because of it. It ain't the end of the world."

I smiled when I felt a slight uplifting in my father's emotions and the tremendously proud look he gave me. "All this from the boy who just a few hours ago wanted to pick a fight with me," he remarked with a smirk, and I let out a laugh as I gave him a shove.

"I have my moments," I responded, to which he muttered, "Few and far between."

"Hey!" I shouted at him in mock anger, knowing from his face and emotions that he was only teasing.

"Now don't go getting your knickers in a twist," he told me, and I couldn't help but burst into laughter at the absurd statement.

"Knickers?!" I gasped out between laughs. "Who says that anymore? Honestly Dad, Emmett's right about ya. Ya really need to get with the times, old man cuz women ain't worn knickers in a loonnngg time. They call 'em panties these days or has Mom not upgraded to those yet?" I bantered with a mischievous smile.

"Wow," Dad responded, giving me a wide eyed stare, "and that is where I end this conversation. Your mother's choice of undergarments is strictly between me and her, thank you very much," he stated, and I laughed at the bit of embarrassment I felt coming off him.

"Too right it will," I said with a nod, and this time he shoved me, causing me to land on my painfully sore rump. I let out a very undignified yelp which caused him to burst into laughter this time.

"Oops," was all he said, and I sported a wicked grin as I crouched down. Dad noticed my posture, and he held his hands up to me as a means to ward me off as he said, "Jasper, no, I swear to god if we damage this roof Esme will have both our—Hey!" he cried out as I pounced. I made sure to watch what I was doing because though my papa's words had been said jestingly, I knew Mama really would have both our hides if we were to, say, accidentally create a sunroof.

Dad and I quickly rolled down the roof and onto the ground, landing with a crash before breaking apart. We gave each other challenging smirks before I rushed him, knocking him down onto the ground once more and as I went to land a playful nip to prove I'd won this little bout he flipped me over. He sported a rakish grin as he said, "I prefer to be on top, how about you?" I couldn't help but let out a loud bark of laughter before returning his look with one of my own as I grabbed a fistful of grass and mud and smashed it on his face while yelling out, "I like it dirty!"

"Ugh!" he cried out, releasing his hold on me to wipe at his face. I used that time to get to my feet, but I didn't make it very far as Dad grabbed hold of my left ankle and slammed me into the ground, right onto the muddy water.

Now I was the one crying out in disgust as I wiped at my face and looked up at my father who was sporting a cheshire grin. "Do you like it rough, too, son?" he asked. I hadn't even time to form a response before someone yelled out, "I think you both like it a little wet," and I let out a yell when I found myself being suddenly sprayed with a hose. Judging from Dad's startled yell it seemed he too was being subjected to this torture.

When the water was finally turned off I was completely soaked and sputtering in disbelief as I stared at my gentle Mama who had the hose in her hand. She was smirking as my dearly beloved was holding a hand over her mouth, literal tears coming down her eyes from sheer mirth as she stared at me and our dad. What a sight we musta presented, I thought in both amusement and embarrassment as I stared at myself and then Dad.

"_Boys_," my mother called sternly, "if you are both finished playing, I believe it is time you came in and got cleaned up." Looking at me she then said, "You, my son, were restricted to your bedroom, if you will recall." She said this not really to scold but to remind me, but I still hunched down in sudden guilt, having momentarily forgotten that tidbit in my haste to talk with Dad.

"Yes, ma'am, you're absolutely right, and I'm sorry," I respectfully responded, bowing my head.

"Don't be angry with him," Dad spoke up, "he needed to talk to me." I snapped my head back up when I felt the sudden tension and stared between both my parents. Mom was leveling a cool look at Dad, but unlike before where I had felt mostly anger from her, I sensed now more sadness and disappointment than anything. Dad looked back at her, his face betraying nothing, but his emotions were wary and anxious.

"Carlisle, we need to talk," my mama stated, and Dad just gave a single nod, patting my shoulder before walking towards her. I stared at Alice, who had lost all amusement as she stared between our parents in concern.

"Come on, my southern belle," I called as took her hand in mine, "I think I might need some help with that shower." Alice gave me a startled look at first that then turned into a foxy grin when she saw what I had planned for her. I not only wanted to spend some quality time with my wife, but I also wanted to distract her. What was going on between our parents was between them now, and it'd be best if we left them to it. So, pulling her towards me we promptly raced away from our parents and into our bedroom, and I couldn't help but be glad that our bathroom door was at least still intact.

**A/N: **Ok, so both Ali and Jasper are on their way to recovery, but still not quite there yet. There is one more event that needs to occur before they can put this whole debacle behind them. As for my dear Dr. Cullen, his relief is not far. Esme is finally ready to discuss things now that she's calmed down, but will she be ready to give Carlisle what he feels he needs? Let's find out.

PLEASE REVIEW!


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Twilight

**Warning: **This story contains disciplinary spanking

**A/N: **Sorry for the delay you guys, I have no excuse. Thank you so much for your patience (not like you had a choice :P) and for your amazing reviews! Hope you enjoy!

**Chapter 11: Give Me What I Need**

**Esme's POV:**

I was feeling a lot of conflicting emotions as I waited for my husband to finish cleaning himself up. I was angry with him over the situation we found ourselves in, but also sad because I could see how guilty he was feeling. I wanted to smack him upside the head for being so damn stubborn, while at the same time hug and comfort him. I wanted to laugh at his antics with Jasper, but I also wanted to yell at him for acting like a child when he should be doing more important things.

I closed my eyes and took many slow and steady breaths. I was going to have to let go of my anger before I could have any sort of conversation with Carlisle. My anger clouded my judgment, and I was apt to worsen the situation by saying things I did not mean.

Thank God for Alice. My talk with my daughter had been very enlightening and helpful for this situation. I was certainly glad she had warned me of what my husband was going to ask, because I would have been completely blindsided otherwise. I clearly remembered his only chastisement, and though I sometimes teased him about it, I knew he absolutely hated every second of it and had no intentions of ever suffering through such pain and humiliation again. I never expected he would need to be, and I wasn't sure he needed it now.

Actually, what I really wasn't sure of wasn't whether I felt he didn't need or deserve it, it was if I could really deliver. That punishment had not only been incredibly hard on my husband, but on me as well. It had taken me a long while before I'd been able to forgive myself for how harsh I'd been with him, especially considering the amount of emotional distress he'd been under at the time. Seeing how long it'd taken him to heal hadn't helped either. I swear it took an entire week before he could sit without wincing and then another week before he felt no discomfort at all. Could I do that again? Did I really need to? Was I up for it? I was already emotional and worn out from Jasper's punishment, so the thought of delivering another chastisement, especially one to my husband was painful to even think about.

I let out a sigh, shaking my head of these thoughts. Let's just take things one step at a time. Talk to the man first, and then figure things out from there. Figure out how guilty he's feeling, what exactly he's guilty about, and why he feels punishment is needed.

I nodded to myself, noting as my husband came out of the shower and began to dry himself off. I couldn't help but hungrily rove my eyes over his chiseled physique before forcing myself to look away. No Esme, I scolded myself, now is not the time for pleasure. It was with great difficulty that I managed to avert my eyes, and it was only when I heard a quiet hiss of pain escape his lips that I looked back. He was wearing only boxers now and clutching his injured wrist. In an instant I was right by his side, looking over the injury.

"I thought Alice had sealed the wound," I remarked concernedly, noting a slight tear in his skin, venom leaking out. He was currently soaking up some of the venom with a wash cloth, as he looked at me and motioned towards the medicine cabinet. "She did, now could you please get me a fresh bandage?"

I quickly did as asked. One of the few medical items we always kept stocked in the house was bandages for occasions such as these. When I walked towards my husband, I gave him a stern look before asking, "If Alice sealed your wound, Carlisle, then why is it still leaking venom?"

"Well, it sort of tore," he answered vaguely before bringing the wrist to his mouth and giving it a quick bite. His eyes tightened momentarily and then relaxed when he released his wrist. He reached out a hand to take the bandage from me, and I rolled my eyes before motioning that I would wrap his wrist.

"_When_ and _how_ did it tear?" I pressed as I applied the dressing, having a very good idea of the answer, but wanting him to say it.

Carlisle sighed as he responded, "When Jasper and I were wrestling. It was an accident."

I shook my head, feeling very much like I was scolding one of my sons as I said, "It was an accident that could have and should have been avoided. You knew you were injured, Carlisle Cullen, so what exactly were you doing rolling around in the mud with Jasper? You are always telling the children and me when injured to relax and not do anything to further aggravate our injuries, yet there you were roughhousing out in the yard. That's not exactly taking it easy, is it Doctor?" My husband was biting his lower lip at my scolding, his shoulders slightly hunched as he gave me an apologetic look. He was the very image of a repentant boy, and I had to fight back a coo.

"No," he replied contritely, "It isn't. I will endeavor to take better care of myself from now on, I assure you."

"Good, now finished getting dressed," I stated, giving his cheek a pat before walking towards our lounge area. I quickly picked up all my books, drawings and blue prints, placing them in a neat pile on the table against the wall. Looking at my fireplace I then placed a few logs in it before lighting it up. It wasn't like we needed the warmth, but the fire somehow brought comfort to both Carlisle and me.

Taking a breath, I smoothed my blouse before sitting down in my chair. Carlisle came out a few seconds afterwards in a grey t-shirt and black sleep pants. It was night time, but I figured he was also anticipating my agreeing to his request and wanting to be prepared. I fought back a tired groan. I didn't want to agree. In fact, as of now I had no intentions of agreeing. There had to be another way. I was not at all prepared to deal with the emotional turmoil punishing Carlisle would bring from either one of us.

My husband sat himself down on the couch, looked at me and remarked, "You don't seem very angry with me anymore." I could hear the question in his tone along with a good dose of wariness. I couldn't blame him. I had been quite snappish with him today.

With good reason, a voice in my head grumbled. I ignored it as I responded, "I am still angry, Carlisle, make no mistake, but I am more saddened and disappointed now than anything."

"Understandable," he quipped with a nod, "I have failed our family and you have all the right in the world to be furious with me."

"You failed no one," I disagreed tiredly. "You messed up quite atrociously, I must say, but it was not a failure. A failure would have been had you not recognized what you'd done, but I know that is not the case."

Carlisle pursed his lips momentarily, his shoulders sagging now and a look of deep guilt in his eyes as the weight of his actions settled on him. I withheld a sigh at this sight. I could see now why he would feel the need to ask me to punish him. I hadn't seen this level of guilt in his eyes since he lost control with Emmett. This was not a good sign. At least he wasn't running or going through mood swings, I couldn't help but think.

"Esme," Carlisle spoke gravely, "you and I both know what I did, there is no use in beating around the bush or hashing out how bad the consequences were. Look at ourselves and our kids, and there are the consequences. We're all a mess. My actions…no, my _inaction_ led to this, and to make things worse we've been like this for _months_. We've all been unraveling for months, and I saw it, but I just ignored it. _That_ is what my worst crime was. I wasn't oblivious to what was happening, love, but I did nothing."

"_Why_?" I couldn't help but ask, feeling my anger and disappointment mounting. It was one thing to have not been aware, but another to have been aware and have done nothing at all.

"I don't—I'm not—I guess I just didn't want to acknowledge how badly I messed up when I moved this family from Forks. I told you, no, I _promised_ you everything would be fine and that it'd turn out alright, but I have never been more wrong. I didn't want to admit my mistake, so I did nothing like a coward, hoping somehow that things would right themselves," he confessed, his shame filled eyes falling to the ground.

I pinched the bridge of my nose as I contemplated his words, fighting down my anger. The fact that he knew and did nothing because he didn't want to admit his mistakes truly rankled me. This was _not_ at all how my husband was or ever should be.

"So this is why you've avoided being home," I remarked, leveling him with a cool gaze. "This is why you've been avoiding _me_."

I shook my head at him in disbelief. "Carlisle, words cannot even begin to express how disappointed I am with you. I can't—I don't even know what to say to you." I paused for several seconds to collect myself, deliberately ignoring the woebegone look on Carlisle's face before speaking once more.

"Your damned _pride_ Carlisle is what your problem is," I hissed exasperatedly. "You thought you had everything under control, or at least that is what you led us all to believe. You wanted us all to believe that everything would turn out just fine and that we shouldn't worry, but it turns out you never really believed any of that. You were just too damn prideful to admit you had screwed up! How could you let this happen, Carlisle? How could you allow your pride to keep you from coming to the aid of your family?"

My husband cringed, visibly shrinking away from me with every word I said, his eyes wide and full of pain and guilt, but I wasn't finished speaking. "I have done everything _I _could to try and help this family, but it's failed. I tried to talk Emmett and Rosalie into coming home on _multiple_ occasions, but have you? I tried also on _multiple _occasions to get Jasper and Alice to open up to me, but they never did. How many times did you try?"

Carlisle looked momentarily surprised by what I'd said before his look of guilt intensified. He didn't answer me, but he didn't have to.

"I wondered why my children, who'd always felt they could tell me anything stopped talking to me, and now I know why," I informed him, tears of anger and frustration welling up in my eyes. "They wouldn't open up to me because they were afraid of hurting me. They've all been furious with you, and they didn't want to risk hurting me by telling me this."

His eyes widened slightly before he closed them, letting out a groan as he buried his head in his hands. His muscles were taut as he tightly gripped his hair. I felt very little sympathy for him in this moment until I smelt the tears. He made absolutely no sound, but the smell was undeniable. I must admit, I was beyond shocked that he was actually crying. Carlisle rarely cried, and I knew that he must've been feeling absolutely racked with guilt to be showing this much distress. My anger quickly diminished, my heart going out to him as I walked over to the couch, knelt in front on him and gently forced him to look at me. My heart further melted when I saw his tear-stained face and utterly pitiful expression.

"Esme, I'm so sorry," he whispered dejectedly, his voice cracking, and I quickly shushed him, pulling his head down until it rested on my shoulder. I caressed the back of his head as I felt several tears fall onto my blouse. It took him only a minute though to regain his control, lifting his head off my shoulder and wiping away at his tears with an embarrassed look.

I remained kneeling where I was, my hand resting on the back of his neck as he kept his head bowed.

We could really talk about everything that was wrong with this family and everything he should have done all day, but there was really no need. He knew what I would say and I knew what he would say. He'd messed up, plain and simple. I knew that. He knew that. He was terribly sorry and it wouldn't happen again. That was all there was to it.

With that in mind, I ducked my head so that I could look into Carlisle's desolate eyes as I asked, "What do you need from me?"

I felt as the muscles on his neck tensed, his eyes turning nearly panicked as he looked at me. I wondered briefly if he was actually going to ask me, but the panic was quickly stifled and replaced with stubborn determination. There was my husband, I couldn't help but think in fond amusement, the stubborn man who always did the right thing, no matter the consequence.

"Esme, love," he began hoarsely, "I have behaved in a manner unbecoming of my position. I would offer to step down as leader of this coven, but I know none of you would accept, and I know that wouldn't really make things better. I deserve to be punished. I _need_ to be punished," he said, giving a nervous swallow. "Would you…," he trailed off for a moment, taking in a few shaky breaths to gain his courage. I knew what he wanted to ask, and I could have taken mercy on him, but that would be too easy. He needed to ask me this on his own. "Will you offer me absolution? Will you spank me?" he asked in barely a whisper, his eyes now closing in shame.

It was a serious blow to his pride to ask this of me for numerous reasons. One, he was admitting to having seriously messed up. Two, he was asking for help. Three, he was asking for a spanking, a humiliating and painful punishment. It was with these thoughts in mind that I didn't even stop to consider his question before I told him, "If it is penance you are in search of, then I will provide it."

This was going to hurt both me and him terribly, but if this was what he needed to forgive himself and begin to repair the damage that was done, then so be it. I needed my husband and the father of my children back as soon as possible. Things had been spiraling out of control for too long and this family needed its patriarch to pull us back together.

A sigh of relief escaped from him as he shot me a thankful look. The expression didn't last long though before it was replaced with clear anxiety. He didn't even attempt to hide from me how nervous he suddenly was, and while I hated to see him like this I was happy to see how far he'd come in these many years. There had been a time when he would hide all his negative emotions from me, but he'd gotten much better at being open with me.

I stood up at this point and ran a soothing hand through my husband's hair. When I released my hold on him I stepped back and took a deep breath, beginning to steel myself for what I was about to do. I didn't want to do this, _not at all_. I hated what was about to happen. I hated that he felt he deserved this, and I hated that I also felt he deserved this. I hated that things had gotten so bad that this sort of punishment was necessary.

I was hurting already. My heart was literally already aching and the punishment had yet to begin. Punishing Jasper had been difficult enough, so how was I going to push through? I hadn't expected this. I really, _really_ didn't want to do this. Could I put it off? No, that would only make things worse. I needed my Carlisle back as soon as possible. He still had issues to discuss with Alice and I could only imagine how the anticipation of this punishment would weigh him down if not delivered today.

It was no use stalling anymore. If this was what it would take to get my husband to not only learn a lesson, but to forgive himself then so be it. After this he would definitely be getting his sore rear end in gear in repairing the damage done to this family.

Okay, it was time to get down to business. No more delays.

"The belt you used on Alice," I began, "where is it?"

Carlisle gave the barest of winces before answering, "I flung it into the hallway right outside her room." Very well, I thought, I will retrieve the belt and get the children out of the house. I did not wish to further humiliate my husband by having his children hear his punishment, and truthfully, I knew they wouldn't want to hear it anyways.

"Carlisle, remain here, I will be back in a moment," I informed him, flashing out of the room and towards Alice and Jasper's room. I slowed my approach before arriving, wanting to give them time to clothe themselves if necessary. I arrived, pleased to see them both dressed and clearly expecting me. Thank God for Alice, I thought ruefully.

"You know why I'm here," I said, and they both nodded their heads, their expressions concerned. "I think it best if you both go out for at least two hours to allow your father and me to take care of some business, alright?"

"Yes, ma'am," Jasper responded, giving his wife a pointed look. She clearly was not happy with what I'd decided, but before she could say anything Jasper wrapped an arm around her and began to guide her out of their room. I turned my gaze away from them now and began to search for Carlisle's belt. When I failed to find it, I suddenly understood the exchanged looks my two miscreants shared.

"Hold it right there, you two," I called sharply as Alice and Jasper were at the top of the stairs. They froze, but did not turn around, and I knew they were responsible for the missing belt. It was an adorable gesture, and the mother in me couldn't help but coo. However, the mother in me was not in charge right now. I was Carlisle's wife right now and his second in command, and I needed that damned belt to impart a lesson on my headstrong mate.

"Give me your father's belt this second before I decide to perform a few practice swings on your misbehaving backsides," I told them, making it very clear with my emotions that I was not in a gaming mood. They received the message and under two seconds I had both of them standing in front of me with Alice tightly gripping the belt. I held my hand out for it, but she shook her head, giving me a distressed look.

"Mommy, please don't use this on Daddy, it really hurts," she said. "He's really sorry and doesn't deserve it. Daddy is a good boy and he's already learned his lesson," she said with utmost certainty. While there was a part of me that warmed at her defense and mentally laughed at her referral to her daddy as a good boy, I was not in the mood for any delays like this. This punishment was hard enough as it was without having my well intentioned children trying to make me look like the bad guy.

"Alice Cullen, you hand that belt over right now before I follow through with my threat," I warned, giving her a stern look. She gave me a wide, pleading look as her eyes filled with tears and wringed the belt in her hands, still refusing to obey me. My anger flashed and I was truly considering laying into my disobedient child when Jasper interfered, taking the belt from his wife's grasp and holding it out for me. I grabbed a hold of it, but he refused to let go. Giving the southerner an unimpressed raised eyebrow, he gave me an apologetic look before saying, "Just don't be too hard on 'im, Mama, alright? He's not got an easy job being in charge of a bunch of dumb teens like us and he's bound to make mistakes like the best of us. He knows what he's done wrong, so he really don't need much to"—

My heart was breaking at their pleading, so I cut my boy off before he could convince me to not go through with this at all. "Jasper and Alice," I spoke, giving them kind looks, "I appreciate what you're trying to do, but it is unnecessary. How harsh I am will be completely up to Carlisle."

Neither one looked pleased with my words, and in fact their concern seemed to increase. I understood why though, as with the guilt Carlisle was feeling he was unlikely to forgive himself easily. "Your father will be just fine, I promise you," I assured them. "When you get back you can come and see him whole and well, understood?"

They exchanged one last sad look with each other before nodding their heads at me. Jasper released the belt into my hold and the both of them headed towards the stairs. I waited to hear them leave the house and enter the woods before making my way back to my bedroom. When I entered it and closed the door Carlisle gave me a curious look.

"That took longer than it should have," he remarked, a bit of anxiety leaking through in his voice.

I gave him a sympathetic look as I replied, "Alice and Jasper were refusing to give me your belt." His eyes widened, and he looked torn between embarrassment, amusement, appreciation, and disbelief.

"I take it they lost that battle," he commented wryly, glancing at the belt in my hands.

I nodded my head mutely, suddenly feeling quite unsure about all of this. Did I really need to use this on him? Did he really need this? Was there some other way of dealing with his guilt? Looking at my frazzled husband I decided to just plain out ask him.

"Carlisle, this is the one and only time I am going to ask this, but I need to know: Are you absolutely sure about this? Do you really feel this is what you need? Consider carefully, my love, because once I start I will not stop until I feel this punishment has completed its task," I spoke.

"Esme," he sighed, giving me a concerned look as he said, "you don't have to do this if you don't want to. I know how much I'm asking of you, especially considering the emotional strain punishing Jasper has already put on you."

I shook my head at him, somehow not surprised that he would take my question the wrong way. I ask him if he is ready, and he thinks I am really trying to say I can't go through with this. "We are not talking about me, we are talking about you. I am here for you, and I have already agreed to go through with this, so do not concern yourself with my feelings. Now, please answer my question."

He frowned, clearly not happy with my words, but when I just shook my head at him once more he said nothing. He let out a sigh before morosely saying, "Esme, while I may not have abused any of our children, what I did was no less serious in my eyes. I essentially abandoned them and you. I acted like an ignorant child, not like a father or husband or leader should. My guilt is tremendous," he explained, and I could hear that in his voice and see that in his face and posture. "Just look at how you've all been suffering"—

"You have suffered as well," I felt the need to interject. "You did not spend all this time happily ignoring what was going on."

"I have suffered," he agreed with a half nod, "but what I've been through is nothing like what the children or you have been through. I should've done something to stop all this long ago. I should never have made this family leave Forks. I should have tracked down Edward as soon as I realized he'd left and dragged him back home. I let him make this mistake, knowing full well it was wrong, as I hoped he'd learn something from this; but that has yet to happen. I let this go on too long and he's nowhere to be found, suffering all alone." He shook his head angrily, disgusted with himself.

"Rosalie and Emmett left because they couldn't handle all the stress, and I let them go without a fight. I should have tried to talk to them and convince them to say, but I was so wrapped up in myself I felt it would be best if they just left. I was so wrong, so very wrong about that. I should have fought harder for them. I should have made more of an effort to help them, or at least show that I was aware of their suffering, and that I cared." He paused for a few seconds, tousling his hair in frustration.

"When Alice and Jasper came back from Mississippi I knew they were keeping something from us. I knew there was something wrong, but I hoped like a fool, that they would handle it on their own, or at least come to me or you if they couldn't. I didn't push them like I should have, and that is an error I have made time and time again. This isn't the first time I have made this mistake, Esme. I have also wronged you. I haven't been there for you like I should have. I've left you alone. I've attempted to comfort and assure you, yes, but I never really talked or confided in you. I need this punishment so that I can learn to be a better father and husband. I need this as a reminder of what happens when I childishly attempt to hide from my own mistakes." Carlisle's gaze was earnest and pleading as he looked at me, and I let go of every bit of doubt I had. After hearing his words, I knew this was what he needed. I just hoped he was ready because I was not planning on stopping until I felt the lesson had been learned.

I gave him a single nod, hardened my heart and walked over to the couch. Carlisle immediately stood up and moved out of the way, allowing me room to sit down.

Giving me a grimace, he remarked, "I suppose you want me over your knees again?"

I barely refrained from laughing at his expression and clear unhappiness. Oh, darling, I couldn't help but think, I am about to light your backside on fire but you're more worried about the position you will be in. Patting my leg, I responded sternly, "I will not risk you having a flashback so you can salvage a bit of your pride. This position worked well last time, and I am sure it will work well today. A little humiliation will do you some good. Just be happy I sent the children away."

His eyes widened momentarily at those words before he nodded his head. Closing his eyes briefly, he then pushed down both his pants and boxers before settling himself over my knee. I wrapped my arm around his waist and pulled him forward a little so that his upper torso would rest on the couch. He promptly crossed his arms and buried his head in them, and I heard the quiet groan he gave. I massaged his back for a few moments to help him relax a little before deciding to begin.

_Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat!_

My hand came down light but fast, barely any break between each swat as I peppered his entire backside. This part of his spanking was only a warm up to prepare him for the belt. I had to be careful not to overwhelm him for fear of triggering a memory. As expected my husband remained completely still and silent. I knew his backside had to be stinging, but this sort of pain was nothing to him. I had to remember to talk to him and put him in the right mind frame because pain alone would not push him to breaking point.

I continued to bring down my hand for a few more minutes, slowly increasing the intensity until I saw him begin to fidget a little. I stopped at this point and rubbed his back in comfort before picking up the belt. His entire body tensed when he heard the clinking of his belt buckle, and I winced, staring at the dreaded object in my hand like it was vicious animal that needed to be put down. This thing was definitely going to be destroyed once this punishment was over.

I gave my head a quick shake to get back in the right frame of mind. Focus on the matter of hand, Esme Anne, I scolded myself. I noticed sadly that my husband's breathing rate had increased, another indication of how nervous he was. Let's just get this over with.

"Carlisle," I spoke, finding it difficult to keep my voice strict, "I am going to be using the belt now, and I feel it necessary to warn you that I will not stop until I am absolutely certain you have forgiven yourself. How long this lasts and how painful this will be is all up to you, so if you are going to be stubborn just know that this experience will only prove more heart-rendering for the both of us, understood?"

"Yes, but what if I can't forgive myself?" he had to ask, and I really wanted to let out an exasperated groan. "Carlisle Cullen," I began my voice turning frosty, "If you cannot forgive yourself then I will of course be forced to stop when I feel you can handle no more. That will mean, however, that we will have to repeat this dreaded affair tomorrow night, and I promise you now I will make you very, _very_ sorry if I have to go through this torment once more."

I felt as his body gave a shudder, and I was confident he would only need this one punishment to forgive himself. He could be stubborn, but he would not be _that_ stubborn, and he wouldn't want to have to go through this entire ordeal more than once.

"I'm rather certain I will already be very, very sorry after _this_ punishment," Carlisle muttered petulantly, and I had to bite my lip to keep down my sudden desire to laugh. Knowing though that this was far from the right moment, and that I really shouldn't be allowing him to take such a tone when in this position, I raised the belt and brought it down without warning three times in quick succession. Carlisle's entire body jolted from the shock and he actually let out a yell of surprise and pain before uttering a few curses. I couldn't help but raise my eyebrow at him as I shook my head.

Bringing the belt down another three times right on his sit spots, I scolded him. "Carlisle Cullen, you know better than to use such language, especially when you are in such a vulnerable position. You are not one of the children and should have better control over that tongue of yours." I started to bring the belt down now in a steady rhythm, not too hard, but not too light either. "I ought to wash your mouth out with soap the second this spanking is over."

"I'm sorry," my husband gasped out, his hands clenching and unclenching from the sudden pain he was under. "You're-you're absolutely r-right _*hiss*_ and it w-won't ha-happen again, I promise!"

"It had better not, because if it does I will follow through with my threat," I chided firmly. "Honestly, Carlisle, you would never accept such language from the children, so how dare you."

"I'm sorry, Esme," he repeated once more in remorse, and I decided to let it go. We had more important matters to be dealing with than a slip of the tongue.

_Crack! Crack! Crack!_

I avidly watched my husband's reaction, noting right away when his slight struggling ceased and he began to freeze. I immediately stopped spanking at that moment, softly caressing his hair as I began to speak. "Do I have your attention, Carlisle?" I asked, wanting to make sure his mind was firmly in the present.

His breaths were coming out in short gasps and it took him a few moments before he responded with a tense, "Yes."

"You know why you are in this position so I will not waste time having you repeat it all," I began to lecture. "What I am going to do is express to you how disappointed and hurt I have been by your behavior."

His breath hitched at those words and I felt it was safe enough to resume his spanking.

"I'm sorr—_*hiss*_," was his response when I brought down the belt to the middle of his rump with a loud crack. I was upping the ante and his entire body tensed as he no doubt noted.

"You have let this family down in a way that I never would have imagined from you," I scolded sharply, the belt coming down twice more on the same spot. A very quiet gasp escaped him, and I watched as he further tried to bury his head in his arms.

"You have behaved in a manner unbecoming of your position, and if it weren't for the obvious guilt I can see you feeling I would have felt forced to temporarily take over this family and coven until you got your head on straight. Is that what you would have wanted?" I questioned strictly.

"No, Esme!" he shouted, and his body began to wriggle as his enflamed bottom tried to avoid the harsh sting of this belt. I just tightened my hold and brought it down twice on his upper thighs. His body jolted once more, another quiet gasp escaping from him. His body was still tense and I knew I would have to push harder to get him to let go.

"How many times, Carlisle, _how many times_ do I have to tell you that you do not lead this family alone?" I pressed angrily. "How many times are you going to push me away when things become too difficult for you? How many times do I have to remind you that we are a _partnership_ and that we will handle things _together_?!"

"I—_ouch!_—I know this!" he yelled out, and I felt a flash of anger in me. "You know this? _You know this?!_" I snapped, bringing the belt down hard on his sit spots once more, causing him to let out his first real yell of pain.

"Arrghh!" he hollered, and I very nearly dropped the belt in shock as I hadn't been expecting such a sound from him. The last time I had spanked him he had let out only gasps of pain, only letting out one yell of pain before he gave in and began to sob. Shocked as I was though, I quickly regained my composure and continued on with his punishment. He had yet to give in, and I had warned him that I would not stop until he let go and forgave himself.

**Carlisle's POV:**

I could not stop the holler I let out as she attacked my sit spots. It bloody well hurt! My poor backside felt like it was literally on fire, and I knew it was only going to get worse. I didn't feel I'd been punished enough yet, so I was refusing to give in.

My one concern was that I hoped I would give in before Esme felt I could not handle anymore. I really, _really_ did not want to do this again tomorrow night. Not only would it be incredibly painful but I couldn't stand putting my wife through such distress once more.

"What is it you think you know, Carlisle Cullen?" my wife chided sharply, the belt coming down like a hot flame. My mind went momentarily blank and I clenched my teeth tightly to keep from screaming out once more.

"I know-I know that I can t-talk to y-you!" I stammered, barely refraining from yelling out in pain.

_Crack! Crack!_ Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, OOOWWWWW! I was thinking over and over. This hurt terribly, worse than last time, and I had no one to blame but myself. I had to let go of this guilt, but I felt what I did this time was so much worse. I hurt everyone by my inaction. This family had nearly fallen apart, and it was only thank to Esme and the strength of my children that it hadn't. Their continued faith in me that I would make things right had kept them going, and how had I repaid that faith. By doing nothing!

"Then why didn't you _trust me_?" my wife asked, pain and frustration evident in her voice as she momentarily paused the spanking. My breaths came out in loud gasps and tears were threatening to fall, but I forcefully held them back. "Why didn't you _listen_ to me?!"

"I don't—I don't know," I gasped out, my voice thick with emotion, "I'm so-so sorry!"

"I have told you this many times before, love, but you have got to realize that _you are not alone_," she stressed, bringing the belt down again on my aching behind. I jumped, letting out a yell before clamping my mouth down on my clenched fist.

"You have a family here that depends on you, yes, but that doesn't mean you can't depend on us," she lectured, her voice losing the anger and beginning to just sound tired. "I love you, Carlisle, and the children love you. We all need you as a father, husband, and leader, and you cannot afford to let us down as you have. If you are struggling and need help, then talk to me, and if we two can't work something out, then we talk to the children. It is not a weakness to ask for help. How many times have you told us all that? How many times must we reiterate back to you before you get that through your thick skull?"

I couldn't help but writhe on my wife's lap, unable to contain my shouts anymore as the pain became too much for me, both physically and emotionally. Tears were beginning to fall, and I knew I was one more push away from a breakdown.

"This family needs you Carlisle," Esme stated in a desperate plea. "I need my husband, the children need their father, and we need our leader. You have what it takes to bring this broken family back together again, and I implore you to do it soon before it becomes too late."

Her simple plea and the heartbroken, weary tone in which she said it was the final straw for me, and after letting out a few more pained shouts I began to sob. I gripped my hair tightly, burying my head into my couch as I let out all the guilt of what I'd done and how badly I had let down my family. I let out another yell when I felt my boxers and pants being put back in place, unable to stop my tears as Esme helped me to my feet.

"Oh Carlisle," my wife spoke soothingly as she ran her hands through my hair and down my tear-stained face, "everything is alright now. You are completely forgiven and we can put this behind us." I nodded my head, unable to look at her as I desperately tried to contain my sobs.

"Come, let us go rest on the bed," she spoke, wrapping her arm around my waist and half-carrying, half-leading me to our bed. I immediately collapsed onto it face down, shoulders shaking from the effort I was putting into remaining silent.

"Stop that Carlisle, you must let go," Esme scolded gently as she pulled me towards her. She wrapped her arms around me and brought my head down onto her chest, and I eagerly returned the embrace, desperately in need of her comfort and reassurances. "I mean it, Carlisle, you need to let go of all this guilt or we can go right back over to that couch and continue this," she threatened, and I couldn't help but begin sobbing once more, the thought of enduring anymore punishment actually frightening the last bit of fight in me.

Esme held me close, running her hands through my hair like I loved and humming her special lullaby as I cried out all my pent up emotions. I felt and smelt her tears as she too began to let out her own pain and I just tightened my hold on her, choking out "I'm sorry" and "I love you" over and over again until she shushed me.

It took some time before the both of us managed to regain control of ourselves, and when we did we still continued to hold each other, just relishing in each other's presence.

"Thank you, Esme," I eventually spoke, lifting my head at giving my eternal beloved an appreciate look. Her eyes were soft and full of love as she stared right back.

"I wish I could say it was my pleasure, but…," she trailed off and I grimaced, understanding how hard this must have been for her. "Just tell me it worked, love, and that we can move past this," she spoke, and I immediately nodded my head as I gave her a reassuring look.

"It worked," I responded, giving her a kiss on the lips. "You were marvelous, giving me exactly what I deserved and needed."

She looked momentarily relieved before a hint of distress took over her. "Carlisle, are you sure I wasn't too hard? This punishment was worse than last time. How sore are you?"

"Don't do that," I urged, lifting myself up further so that we were eye level with each other. "You warned me from the start that my punishment would end when _I _gave in. Everything I received is no one's fault but my own."

Esme placed her hand on the side of my face, her eyes still troubled and with a hint of exasperation as she remarked, "You are so _stubborn_."

I gave her a weak smile as I said, "I know, but please do not beat yourself up over this. I more than earned this, and I deserve every bit of discomfort."

She sighed, leaning her forehead against mine before giving me a loving kiss. Breaking apart, she gave me a small smirk as she quipped, "Well, I can't argue with that logic."

I smiled more widely now, glad to see the guilt leave her eyes. This was by no means the last time we would have this same little argument, but for now she seemed alright. I leaned my head back down on her chest and she idly played with my hair as she once more hummed her lullaby. I was beginning to drift off into 'sleep' when I heard the approach of Alice and Jasper.

"Ali, we should really let'im be right now. I doubt he wants ta see us, and he an' mama are probably doin' just fine without us," Jasper told his wife, speaking in a manner that suggested he had said this several times already.

"They'll have time for make-up sex later ("Alice!" Jasper had exclaimed)," my little angel declared fiercely. "I haven't looked into either one of their futures so I have to know that Dad is alright and that Mom isn't beating herself up."

My wife and I exchanged amused glances at our children's argument.

"They're just fine, Alice, trust me, I can feel both of their emotions now," Jasper argued futilely. "We should really just wait and give them some time alone."

"Absolutely not," Alice retorted in determination, "I have to see with my own two eyes, and you can either stay here or join me."

I heard my soldier heave a sigh of defeat before replying, "Of course I'm comin' with you, darlin', don't be ridiculous."

Our little vampires entered the house at this point and I couldn't contain my laughter when Alice shouted, "Mom! Dad! Jasper and I are coming up right now so if you're doing anything that would possibly scar our young impressionable minds, then I suggest you stop now!"

"_Alice_!" Jasper hissed in complete exasperation, and as Esme and I began to laugh, we heard him mutter loudly, "I'm glad you two are findin' this amusin'."

We heard a soft knock at our bedroom door now, and I rolled my eyes as Esme went over to let them in. I quickly yet carefully rolled myself over, barely containing a loud groan as my backside touched the mattress. Placing my arms on the bed I deftly lifted myself up and practically jumped off the bed before abruptly finding the breath knocked out of me when my daughter rushed to hug me.

"Oh Daddy, are you alright? You look terrible! How bad was it? How sore are you? Do you want me to get you some ice? It helps some, and oh, you poor thing you've been crying! It's alright, Daddy, nobodys mad at you and we all love you very much, isn't that right, Japer? Everythings going to be just fine now, just you see," she babbled, giving me a tight squeeze every few seconds before looking up at my face. She was clearly worried about me and quickly working herself up, her eyes shining with unshed tears and guilt as though she were in any way at fault for the position I had landed myself in.

"Alice," I sighed, easily lifting her up in my arms. She wrapped her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist, and I winced at feeling her shoes land on my aching bottom. "I am just fine, my little one," I assured her, "and of course everything will be just fine. I'm done sitting on the sidelines and waiting for things to fix themselves. I will bring our family back together, I promise you."

"I know you will, Daddy," Alice stated with confidence into my ear before giving my cheek a kiss. Looking towards Jasper, I held out an arm for him and he hesitated briefly before coming over and wrapping his arms around me.

"Glad to have ya back, Papa," he whispered sincerely, and I pulled him close as I sent my love and appreciation to him. "Me too," I responded before then looking towards my tearful wife. I motioned with my head for her to join us and she flashed over, wrapping her arms around both her babies and me.

**A/N: **Hurray! Daddy is back! Way to go Esme, you sure knocked some sense back into that bull-headed mate of yours!

PLEASE REVIEW!


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Twilight

**Warning:** This story contains disciplinary spanking, so don't read or flame if this offends you.

**A/N: **Okay, so I've had a lot of people asking me to write about the Cullens seeing Bella again, but I don't plan on doing this. The Italy fiasco has to happen because I've already referred to it in _Drunken Consequences _(both versions) and _Insomnia_. As for the aftermath of those events, too many people have already written about it and I don't like writing about what others have already written. I like to write about areas that have yet to be explored or touched upon. Sorry to disappoint you all.

**HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!**

**Chapter 12: Tough Love**

**Alice's POV:**

It had been one week, one whole week since not only Jasper and me, but Dad as well had been taken to task. Originally Dad had told me that he'd take care of my fighting within a few days at most, but after the whipping Mom gave him, he had to put it off because he just wasn't able to sit without being in pain. One week later he was still hurting, but he was able to sit without too much trouble.

I was pain free as of two days ago, but unfortunately that was going to change soon. Today was the day. Today was the day I would pay for what I'd done to that cow, Cassie. Ugh, I had to stop thinking of her so negatively because that would only make me angry, and if I was angry and unrepentant when Dad was punishing me, then I'd be one very sore little girl.

I searched my visions for some glimpse of what awaited me, giving a frustrated sigh when I still saw nothing. The only reason I knew I was being punished today was because Dad had given me the heads up yesterday. If he'd made the decision though, I didn't understand why I wasn't able to see anything. I was anxious enough as it was, but not being able to know made it even worse. I was afraid he was hiding something from me, or that he was planning on using his belt again and just didn't want me to freak out before hand.

I wasn't the only one that was anxious though, Jasper was as well. Dad had apparently told him he would be facing punishment in a few days time, but like with me, it had been put off. He wasn't being spanked, so I wondered what punishment Dad had in mind that couldn't have been delivered before now. Dad had yet to tell him when he would be facing his punishment like he did with me, and this was just causing my husband further distress. I was currently trying to keep him from blowing up in our father's face and demanding to know what his punishment would be. I didn't need to be psychic to know that wouldn't end well.

Things had finally started to look up for this family after last week. Dad and Mom were nearly inseparable, once more being the loving, attentive parents I knew them to be. Dad and Mom had both talked to me separately and together about my past, assuring that I knew I wasn't at fault for anything that happened, and that most importantly I knew that they loved and cherished me and would _never_ in a million years think of kicking me out of the family. I already knew this, but it had definitely been nice to hear. Unfortunately, learning of my past and all the teasing I'd put up with at school had temporarily caused me to have doubts, but that was old news. Dad had also apologized to both of us for how he'd acted these past several months...

_Dad was leaning against a tree, looking away from us as he crossed and uncrossed his arms. Jasper and I exchanged concerned glances, and I wondered whether I should lend a hand in starting this conversation. I really wanted to tell him there was no need for this, but I knew this would be beneficial to him, so I said nothing._

_"I know I have already apologized to the both of you, but I feel I must do so again," he began, finally turning serious eyes to us. "Esme insists I did not fail you all, but the truth of the matter is that I did. I completely and utterly failed at my duties and there is no excuse, and there never will be an excuse. I hurt all of you, I know I did, and I wish to God I could turn back time and take it all back, but that's not possible." Dad looked down now, a distressed, self-castigating expression on his face._

_Dad looked up again and stared straight at me. "I am not saying this to make you angry with me, but I feel I must so that you know that I understand the full extent my decisions had on you. Alice, I noticed the day you returned from Mississippi that something was wrong. I knew there was more than you were telling me, but I let it go. I shouldn't have"-Dad paused, letting out a sigh before biting his bottom lip. _

_"This is an error I have made multiple times throughout the years, and I still fail to realize it until it's too late," he admitted, giving me a despairing look. "I'm so very sorry, angel. I should have confronted you sooner and more forcefully. You kids all have the same penchant of keeping things to yourselves when they become too much"-_

_I couldn't take this anymore, so I interrupted him with a pleading, "Dad, please stop." He did, giving me a sad look. "Please stop beating yourself up over this. The error isn't yours here, it's mine. I should have talked to you and Mom. I shouldn't have kept all this secret." Dad looked ready to interrupt me now, but I held up a hand, giving him a smile. "You see Dad, we could go back and forth here, each taking full blame when truthfully we are both at fault. You've already taken your punishment and I'm just waiting on the rest of mine. There's no more need for you to apologize to me because it's all in the past."_

_Dad stared at me with an unreadable look before smiling and giving a shake of his head. "Why do you children turn all philosophical and wise on me only after you've been punished, or when I am in trouble?" I knew the question was rhetorical so all I could give him was a sheepish grin and a shrug. _

_Dad shook his head once more before turning towards my husband. Before he could even open his mouth though Jasper held up a hand and said, "Don't even try it, Papa, cuz it ain't necessary. I've felt your remorse and guilt and self-loathing and it's time to let it all go. You didn't need ta take a whippin' from Mama to gain my forgiveness," he informed him, "all it woulda taken was you fixin' this damage, and you've done a pretty fine job at that already. The only thing missin' now is my boneheaded brother and Bella."_

_Dad actually let out a short laugh at his words, giving us both grateful looks. "Thank you," he said, "for the trust you give me. I will endeavor to make sure I never make you doubt me, your place in this family, or my love for you ever again."_

_"See to it that you don't, Mister," I replied with a sassy grin..._

Like I said, this hand't been necessary, but it had sure helped Dad forgive himself even more. Apart from a still sore backside, he was back to his old, reliable self.

When Mom wasn't occupied with Dad, she and I spent a lot of time together planning an extravagant shopping vacation for me, her, and Rosalie. During these times Dad spent time with Jasper, usually roughhousing, and my cowboy wasn't above using our father's 'injury' to his advantage. My man had been practically brimming with pride these past few days after having bested our father several times. Dad, for his part was a good sport just rolling his eyes at Jasper's antics, but I had a really good feeling he was just biding his time until he was fully healed before exacting revenge.

Due to everything that had happened, Dad took an extended leave of absence from work, wanting to spend all his free time with us. I certainly didn't mind. Jasper quit school, explaining that it held no interest for him at this time, and our parents were thankfully understanding. The best news of all though, was that Emmett and Rosalie were due back in two days. Dad had called them, offering profuse apologies for his behavior before politely requesting they come home. He needn't have bothered as they'd already been planning on returning before he'd called as I had already been in contact with them...

_"Hello?" Emmett greeted, and I frowned, noticing the lack of joviality in his voice._

_"Hi Emmett," I greeted back._

_"What's up, Pixie?" he asked with much more enthusiasm. "It's been ages since I've heard from you, how you doin?"_

_"I'v got a lot to catch you guys up on, so is Rosalie there?" I asked, and I heard her say, "Yeah Alice, I'm here, what's going on? Is everything alright at home?"_

_"Well, it's getting there," I responded before informing them of everything that had occurred, down to mine, Jasper's, and Dad's punishments._

_"Holy shit!" Emmett cried out at the end, "Dad actually _asked_ for a whippin from Ma?"_

_"Yup," I answered._

_"And she agreed?" Emmett asked in shock, and I rolled my eyes._

_"Well, I wouldn't be saying it if it weren't true," I told him smartly. "Now, the reason I'm telling you this is because Dad should be calling you tomorrow and I don't want you guys giving him a hard time. He's already beaten himself up enough about this, and he's been through an awful whipping. The poor guy is gonna be sore for a while."_

_I heard no response for several minutes, only hearing that Emmett and Rosalie were having a whispered conversation. It was Rose who had the phone this time._

_"Why is Dad going to be calling us?" she asked, dismally attempting to hide her hope behind a nonchalant tone._

_"He's going to ask for your forgiveness before begging you to come home," I responded somberly. _

_There was another moment of silence before she said, "We're on our way. Don't tell anybody we're coming yet. We'll take Dad's call and let him think he convinced us. Thanks Alice, we gotta go."_

_"Bye Ali bear!" Emmett crowed before Rose hung up..._

Dad had also begun a search for Edward's whereabouts, calling his phone multiple times every day in addition to getting in contact with old friends to see if any of them had spotted him. He had left my brother quite a few number of very stern voicemails, but through my visions I could tell that he wasn't bothering to listen to them. I was keeping more tabs on my mind-reading brother in the hopes that I could figure out where he was. As far as I'd been able to see, he was no longer in the United States. I saw him in a rainforest, but of course that really didn't narrow things down. We assumed he hadn't flown anywhere as his bank account was untouched and his passport had been left behind, which meant he was probably still in the western hemisphere. Again, not really much help, but it was something. At least we wouldn't be sending anyone overseas to search for the idiot.

All of us were growing quite worried for Edward, despite also being angry with him. Everybody knew that if Dad called then you picked up, no questions asked; and if you didn't pick up you better call back as soon as possible if you knew what was good for you. Every single one of us had learned that lesson the hard way, even Mom. That was one of the few times I'd ever seen Dad get really upset and stern with her. Anyways, we were all really worried about my brother, and I was starting to catch visions of Dad leaving to go search for him. Every day as we heard nothing from Edward the vision solidified. I almost felt sorry for Edward, because I knew that if Dad was forced to leave us to go track him down all over the Americas, then Edward was not going to be a happy camper when our dad got his hands on him.

He deserved it though, I couldn't help but think. He was the one who started this whole mess. Dad sure hadn't helped, but it was Edward's moronic idea that Bella would be better off without him and us that started this downward spiral. I hoped Dad would knock some sense into him when he was found.

"What're ya thinkin' about, doll face?" Jasper asked, no doubt having felt my changing emotions.

"Just about everything that's happened this past week," I answered, leaning in and landing a kiss on his lips. He hungrily returned the kiss, wrapping his arms around my waist. I was just about to push my hand up under his shirt when there was a knock on our door. We instantly broke apart, literally jumping until we were several feet from each other. I wasn't sure why we'd reacted as though we were just caught doing something naughty, so I smirked at my husband as I said, "Come in, Dad."

Dad opened the door and stepped in, narrowing his eyes slightly as he looked between us. I must admit, we did look terribly guilty, so I felt the need to speak up before he started getting the wrong idea.

"We were just, um, y'know," I said, raising my eyebrows at him, hoping he would understand what I was alluding to without having to actually say it. It seemed Jasper was the one with no filter today though as he crossed his arms, gave our father a stern look and muttered, "Ya just killed my mojo, Dad, I hope you're happy."

I couldn't help but laugh out loud, unsure of whether I was laughing at what he'd said or the taken aback, embarrassed look my father now sported.

"I, uh, sorry?" Dad phrased, beginning to sport an amused smile. I stifled my giggles before running over and throwing my arms around him.

"Hi Dad," I greeted with a smile, "what do you want to talk about?" I'd just caught the vision of him asking to speak to me alone, but not to punish me so I was brimming with curiosity. Jasper immediately tensed, his jaw muscles clenching and a dark look settling over his face, but he said nothing.

Dad smiled down at me, smoothing back my spiky hair before looking towards Jasper. "Son, I need you to get out of hearing range for half an hour so I can have a private talk with Alice, and before you begin to fret, I only want to talk to her."

Jasper relaxed instantly, although he was sporting a frown as he looked between our father and me. "Alright," he spoke, throwing me one last concerned look before departing. We waited a few minutes to make sure Jasper was far enough away to not hear before my dad spoke.

"Why don't you take a seat, Angel?" he suggested, gesturing towards my bed.

"You first," I couldn't help but tease, and he rolled his eyes good-naturedly before sitting himself down with only the slightest of grimaces.

"Happy?" he quipped, giving me a raised eyebrow.

"Always," I responded, promptly seating myself down next to him. "So, what's this about, Dad? You've been doing a great job at keeping me in the dark, and I don't like it. What do you want to talk to me about and why couldn't Jasper stay here for this?"

Dad gave me a small smile, but his eyes were troubled so I began to grow concerned. "Is this about my punishment?" I questioned, less curious and much more wary now.

"Yes," he responded, and I froze, giving a nervous swallow before asking, "Did you lie to Jasper? Are you going to be spanking me now?"

"No, of course not, I wouldn't lie like that," he immediately responded, and I let out a breath of relief.

Dad was looking down at his hands now and looking very reluctant to talk to me, and I was beginning to grow more and more concerned. So he wasn't spanking me, but then what did he want to talk about? Why was he looking like this? If he was reluctant then that meant he was going to do something he really, really didn't want to. Was he going to whip me again?

"Daddy, are you going to use the belt on me again?" I had to ask, and his eyes immediately widened and he shook his head once more.

"No, Alice, absolutely not," he stated emphatically. "I'm here to talk to you about not only your punishment, but Jasper's as well. I'm going to need your help with his."

I relaxed only minutely, feeling concern for my mate now. "What do you plan on doing to him?" I asked nervously. I was just starting to search my visions when Dad loudly snapped his fingers in front of my face.

"Don't Alice," he scolded lightly. "I want your mind in the present right now. I need you to hear me out before saying anything, alright?"

"Okay," I responded with a hesitant nod, anxious about what he was planning. He didn't seem to like this idea of his one bit, which did not bode well for Jasper at all.

"I have already made up my mind about what Jasper's punishment will be, but Ali, it will involve you, and you are not going to like this one bit," he began, turning his face to look me in the eyes. "I do not mean his punishment to be a punishment for you as well, but unfortunately it will be and for that I am sincerely sorry. I need you to understand though that I am doing this for him. He has this constant fear that you will be hurt during a spanking. He fears that I will lose control with you, whether on purpose or accidentally."

"That's absurd!" I exclaimed, and Dad offered me the briefest of smiles before holding up a hand to remain silent.

"Thank you for the trust, Angel, I'm going to ask that you continue to trust me when I inform you of what I have in mind for our soldier," Dad responded, beginning to look quite sad and reluctant. "We made headway with Jasper last week, getting to the root of his overprotective problem concerning you. I truly believe he has what it takes to control himself, but Jasper does not. He is his own worst enemy and his lack of faith in himself will lead him to fail every time. What I am planning to do is not only to prove to him that you will never be harmed during a spanking, but that he really can control himself."

I nodded my head, thinking it was a good idea but not really understanding how…Oh…_Oh_…My eyes widened as I suddenly realized what he was planning. He couldn't. He wouldn't. This was insane.

"Daddy, you can't really be planning on forcing Jasper to watch me be punished, are you?" I questioned, still holding out the barest of hope that I was wrong. One look into his saddened yet determined eyes told me all I needed to know though.

"Ohhhh, no, no, no, no Dad, absolutely not!" I shouted as I jumped to my feet. "This is a horrible idea! How could you think of something like this? Do you know the pain you will put him through? How could you do something so cruel to Jasper? He has trouble controlling himself just hearing about me being punished, how in the hell do you think he's going to react when he actually sees it? Are you insane?! And what about me? Do you think I want him to see me in such a position getting my butt whooped? How is that fair?" I yelled angrily. "You're just going to be putting us both through a lot of unnecessary pain, and I won't stand for it!" I crossed my arms and glared angrily at my father, not at all pleased with him.

Dad's face was calm as he gazed back at me, and truthfully I was surprised. Dad didn't like getting yelled at by us kids, and he usually put a stop to our rants with a look or the palm of his hand. Right now though, he was just sitting there patiently waiting for me to stop talking.

"I understand what I am asking of the both of you," he said when I fell silent, and I knew he did by the look in his eyes, but I wasn't ready to give in. "Jasper fears I will hurt you when I spank you, so what better way to allay that fear than to show him? He fears he lacks control over his instincts and himself, so what better way to prove him wrong than to test that theory. I have the utmost faith in my son that he will not interfere during your punishment. It will hurt him greatly to watch you suffer, but this is something he needs. I will apologize to you Ali, because I am putting you in a horrible position. You will suffer along with him, but in the end I think Jasper will greatly benefit from this experience. He will learn to trust me."

I shook my head unhappily, still not liking this idea, but unfortunately I understood his reasoning. This would be good for Jasper. Maybe if he witnessed my punishment he would finally see that Dad wasn't abusing me, and hopefully he'd finally learn to get some control over those protective instincts of his. But my heart was already aching at the pain Jasper would suffer through at seeing me in pain and crying. I could all too easily imagine the situation in reverse as I had on a few occasions witnessed Jasper's spankings through visions. Hmmm. Thinking back I remembered those moments hurting, yes, but I also remember knowing that Dad and Mom only ever had Jasper's best interests at heart and that they would never harm him. I never flipped out, at least not overly so when I'd seen some of those visions, but then again I wasn't Jasper.

"How do you know that he won't attack you while you're punishing me?" I questioned concernedly. "Jasper was ready to attack you last week just because he heard you spanked me, how do you think he'll take it when he's actually witnessing it. His mind might understand that you're not hurting me, but the vampire in him will see you as a threat," I said, trying to get Dad to see reason.

Instead of seeing the light though, Dad actually responded by giving me a slight look of disappointment. "I would have thought out of everyone in the family that you would understand your husband's control better than anyone. Do you realize how much our family's doubt in Jasper has affected him? He's felt our fears concerning his control over his thirst and temper, and he's adopted those fears as his own nearly crippling himself. Jasper is stronger than any of us realize because he has not only been constantly fighting his own doubt, but ours as well."

I was taken aback by his words, shame welling up in me that I could possibly have led to Jasper's issues with his control.

"We forget that Jasper feels everything we do, and I'm not talking about just emotions. He struggles with not only his thirst, but ours as well, and he struggles not only with his own vampire instincts, but ours as well. I have no doubt he becomes overwhelmed at times, unable to distinguish whose instinct or emotion he's really feeling, ours or his own," Dad explained. "We've all, myself included, tried to push him into situations claiming to believe in him while at the same time failing to hide our doubt. Our soldier automatically latches onto those negative emotions. He feeds off of them and dwells on them, blocking out all other positive emotions. He thinks very little of himself, as I'm sure you've realized by now."

I nodded my head, feeling a little overwhelmed by all he was telling me. If Dad was right, we'd been unknowingly hurting Jasper for years, and that really tore me up. How could I ever hope to make this right?

"Do you trust Jasper?" my dad asked, giving me a serious look. I stared back at him and then nodded my head.

"Yes, I do," I said with confidence.

"Good," Dad replied with a smile, "then let him know that. Let him not only hear your belief in him, but let him feel it to. Fill him with confidence so that he will begin to believe in himself."

I once more nodded my head, feeling determined to do everything I could to help Jasper. If this is what it would take, then so be it.

"I know I'm asking a lot of you, Alice, and that it really isn't fair of me to do this to you," Dad spoke, gently taking one of my hands in his, "but I truly feel this will help him. I'm going to need your help before your punishment convincing him to do this because I doubt he'll agree easily, but once the punishment starts I want you only to be focusing on what landed you in that position. You will leave Jasper to me. You can both comfort each other afterwards."

My stomach twisted, fear of my punishment and fear of how Jasper would handle this coursing through me. How Dad expected me to be thinking about anything other than Jasper while I was getting my bottom tanned was beyond me.

Dad stood up now and pulled me into his arms. "Everything will work out just fine, trust me," Dad whispered into my ear, and I nodded my head into his chest.

"Since I'm really getting a raw deal here, Daddy, does this mean you'll go easy on me?" I asked hopefully, and he gave me a sad smile as he shook his head.

"No, Alice," he replied. "You severely injured a human, nearly exposed us, and got yourself expelled. Any one of those acts would have earned you a spanking, so in truth I already am going easy on you by giving you only one spanking."

My heart sank before I felt the need to say, "I'm not going to be able to focus on any of that with Jasper in the room. I'm going to be worrying about him the whole time, so really you're spanking is going to be for naught, sooo…," I trailed off suddenly, not liking the look my dad was giving me.

"Believe me, angel, I will make sure your mind is where it should be, have no fear," Dad told me, giving me a reassuring smile that only made me sick to my stomach.

"Oh, that's wonderful," I grumbled quite sarcastically before tensing as I heard the very fast approach of my mate. It seemed he was eager to return and see for himself that Dad hadn't punished me while he was gone. It was less than a minute before he appeared at our doorway, rushing over and looking me over for any sign of discomfort or distress.

"What's wrong?" he asked, having felt my anxiety, worry, and sadness. He flicked his eyes to our dad, giving him a questioning look when I took too long to answer. Instead of explaining though, Dad just stated that we should take this discussion to his study. Jasper was really confused now, and I felt a good dose of worry come off him. I squeezed his hand, gave him a reassuring smile and led the way to Dad's office.

Once inside Jasper could remain silent no more. "What's going on, Dad? Have we done something wrong?"

Dad raised an eyebrow at him as he responded, "No, unless you count all the disrespect and defiance you displayed last week."

"Oh," Jasper muttered, partly in relief and partly in worry, "are you finally gonna tell me what my punishment is?"

"I am," Dad replied with a nod, and without even a bit of warning or anything he blurted out, "your punishment will be to sit at my desk and watch Alice receive her spanking."

I tightly grasped onto Jasper's hand, feeling as every muscle in his body just froze, the shock of our father's pronouncement coming off him in waves. Before it could wear off and turn to anger, Dad began to explain.

"Before you blow up in my face, son, I want you to take a breath and listen to me," Dad commanded, and I was really surprised when Jasper mechanically did as he said. I could feel his shock beginning to disappear, so I was hoping Dad would hurry up with his explanation. "You have a serious issue when it comes to Alice receiving discipline, Jasper, I don't feel I really need to expand on that. I'm tired, absolutely tired of having to argue, defend, and fight you off every time she's in trouble, and I intend for this punishment to put a stop to that. You told me you had a deep seated fear that Alice would be seriously harmed during her spanking. Well, today you will sit and watch every second of what she goes through so you can see for yourself that apart from a sore bottom, your mate will be perfectly safe in my hands."

I was avidly watching Jasper's face as Dad spoke, relieved that even though I could see anger in his eyes that he wasn't losing his temper, at least not yet.

"The second reason behind this punishment is to prove to you that you do have the necessary ability to control this protective instinct," Dad continued. "I am not asking you to smother it or rid yourself of it. What I am asking is that you acknowledge what you are feeling, without letting those feelings take over. You are in charge of your feelings and your body, not the other way around. You control your instincts."

Jasper was still frozen when Dad fell silent. He was giving him time to process and react now, and I quickly searched our future, giving an internal groan as I watched him shouting at Dad. Time for me to work my magic, I thought.

I gave a quick look to Dad telling him to not interfere before grabbing hold of my husband's face and turning it so that he was looking at me and not Dad.

"Jasper," I spoke calmly, "there is no need for you to get angry." Jasper gave me an incredulous look before finally speaking. "Did you not hear what he's asking of me? He wants me to sit here and watch you gettin' yer ass beat, and he has the audacity to expect I'll be able to do this calmly!"

I narrowed my eyes at his words, dragging him further away from our dad for a little more sense of privacy before saying, "Dad will not be beating my ass and you know it, Jasper, so how dare you say such an awful thing!" I made sure he felt my disappointment because I was tired too of all the mean things he'd say about Dad anytime I'd get punished. It was as though he forgot who the man was and everything he'd done for us.

I was glad when I saw Jasper's expression turned abashed, his anger abating as he looked down momentarily. "I think this punishment is the best thing for you, Jasper, I really do," I then told him. "You'll finally be able to see that Dad isn't causing me any permanent damage, and that he never will."

He was sighing heavily now, running a hand through his blonde curls before saying, "Look, I know Dad would neva hurt you, Ali, I don't need to witness this to know that."

"Stop lying to yourself," I retorted gently yet firmly as I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him close. "You admitted to both our parents last week that you did."

Jasper groaned in response, his face turning pained as he then said, "I don't wanna see you get punished, Alice. It'll kill me, I won't be able to take it hearing you yell and cry out knowin' that I won't be able to intervene. And that's assuming I can control myself. What's more likely to happen is that I'll lose control and try to take Dad's head off before I realize what I'm doin'."

"No you won't," I responded. "I have the utmost confidence in your control, so it's about time you did too. You are so much stronger than you think, and if you'd only open your eyes a little then you'd see that too."

Jasper's golden eyes stared deep into my face, searching to see if I really meant what I said. I stared right back, using my expression and feelings to convey my complete faith in him.

"Do you trust me?" I asked him, and he immediately nodded his head, giving me a look as though to ask how dare I think any differently.

"Of course I do!" he assured me, and I gave him a beautiful smile.

"Well then, trust me when I say this is the best thing for you and that I know you'll be just fine," I stated, and I saw as his resolve crumbled. "This won't be easy for either one of us," I added, wanting him to realize that I understood what I was asking of him. "I know you hate seeing me suffer, but what you have to do is remind yourself that I need this punishment to learn a lesson and to let go of my guilt. Would you prefer Dad not spank me and I have to suffer through my guilt alone, or will you allow me to receive absolution?"

"Alice," he groaned softly, burying his head into my hair. He understood what I was saying, but he certainly wasn't happy about it. That was alright though because as long as he understood that was all that mattered. I certainly wasn't going to expect him to be smiling at the thought of me getting a spanking, but if anyone understood the need for punishment, he would.

"Remember, Jazz, Dad loves me and he loves you," I told him. "The only reason he ever spanks us is because he loves us and wants to see us better ourselves. _You know this_," I declared, poking him in the chest with each word to emphasize my point.

"I know," he replied softly, giving me a saddened look. "I don't like this one bit, Alice, not one bit, but if you and Dad really think this'll help me, then I will endure. I won't let you down, darling, I promise."

I gave him a brilliant smile, full of pride and love, and had to really resist from jumping him at this second. I didn't think Dad would appreciate us having an intense make-out session at this moment. Jasper received my message though and he sent me a large dose of love in return.

Alright, I thought, time to face the music. My stomach was fluttering with nerves now as Jasper and me turned towards Dad. He had such a look of deep pride on in his face that I couldn't help but smile. I noticed Jasper smiling too before he then looked down in embarrassment.

Dad walked over to us, placed a hand on each one of our shoulders and gave it a comforting squeeze. "Let's not put this off any longer," he remarked calmly before looking at me. "Alice, please go stand over by the couch." I promptly did as told, watching as he guided my cowboy over to his chair behind the desk.

**A/N:** Bwahahaha! I know, this is a wicked place to end it, but it was the only logical place. Originally this was a really long chapter, but I decided to split it into two and this was the best place to do it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Twilight

**Warning:** This story contains disciplinary spanking, so don't read if you are easily offended

**A/N: **Alright, I guess I've made you all wait long enough for this last update. Welcome to the final chapter of _Past and Present_! This story turned out absolutely nothing like I'd originally intended, but I'm still satisfied; although I do wish I'd included a bit more Alice as this was originally her story. Jazz and Carlisle just don't know how to share though, tsk tsk! Well, as always I hope you enjoy!

**Chapter 13: Two Birds with One Stone**

**Jasper's POV:**

Dad pushed down on my shoulder forcing me to sit in his chair. He then knelt down so he could look up at my face before placing his hands on my forearms. It wasn't a restraining hold so much as a comforting one. It was always easier for me to feel emotions through physical contact, so I really felt his love, pride, and confidence in me along with his sadness at the situation.

"Jasper, my dear soldier," he began, and my heart warmed at not just his use of my nickname, but his referral to me as his. I was his son. I was a member of his family. "I love you, you know that right?"

"Course I do, and I love you too, General," I replied, using a nickname I'd given him in jest years and years ago. I rarely used it, but every once in a while I'd throw it out there because it always seemed to amuse him, just as it did now.

He smiled, giving my forearms a slight squeeze before speaking. "This will not be easy for you, we both know that so there is no use trying to pretend differently. I don't want to do this, son, but I feel you have left me little choice. I need this to not be an issue between us anymore, and this is the best way I can think of to overcome this. You have excellent control, and I have no doubt that while you will suffer at watching Alice suffer, you will not interfere."

"How can you know that?" I whispered, doubt plaguing my mind. "How can you have so much faith after what happened just last week?"

"I know because you have grown since just a week ago. You have finally acknowledged your doubts and fears, so you are aware of them. If you are aware of them, then you can control them. Not to mention, I just know you, Jasper, and I know you will not risk further harm to Alice," he responded, and I gave him a confused look.

"How could stopping this punishment harm Alice?" I questioned, and his responding look clearly said that I really should know the answer to this question.

"You and I are very much alike in some ways," Dad explained. "When we do wrong, what do we seek and why do we seek it?"

"We seek punishment," I answered slowly, "and we seek it because we feel we must pay…Oh…" I fell silent momentarily as realization of what he was getting at hit me. "We seek punishment so that we pay for our mistakes, and so that we can learn from it and forgive ourselves."

"Exactly," Dad agreed, giving me an imploring look, "so why do you seek to deny this relief to your own mate? Do you believe her to be perfect? Do you believe she never makes mistakes? Your attempts to keep her from being punished cause her more harm than good, soldier, because what will she learn or think if every time she misbehaves you come to her rescue, insisting she is innocent and that nothing need be done? How would you feel if Alice did this to you?"

My eyes widened in shock as I seriously contemplated his words. I immediately made to look at Alice but Dad caught my face, forcing my eyes to remain on his. "I neva meant—Papa, I only wanted to help her, y-you know I'd neva want to"—

"Of course I know," he interjected gently, "and of course she knows that you meant no harm, but have you not heard the expression, 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions'?"

I cringed, guilt welling up in me, tears stinging my eyes. "Papa, I deserve to be"—

"This is your punishment," he once more interjected, looking stern for the first time during this conversation. "Your punishment will be to sit here and watch me punish your mate while doing absolutely nothing to stop me. I can truly think of no worse punishment than that, can you?"

"No sir," I responded hoarsely, beginning to get quite choked up. His eyes were kind as he lifted up a hand to wipe at a stray tear that fell down my face. I couldn't help but push my face into his hand, seeking the comfort it provided, and Dad thankfully obliged me, running that hand through my hair soothingly as he brought my head down onto his shoulder.

"You are strong, Jasper, and you will endure this and come out even stronger because of it. I have complete and utter faith in your control, but just in case you still harbor doubts, I want you to do something for me as you watch," Dad stated quietly.

"Do what?" I pressed curiously.

"I want you to focus very intently on Alice's emotions, starting from when she and I discuss why she is in trouble," Dad informed me. "Monitor them closely and compare them to what you feel when in her same position. I have no doubt that you'll find your emotions to be quite similar. Can you do this?"

"Yes sir, I can," I replied, pulling away to give him a determined nod.

"Good man," he responded, and I couldn't help the small surge of pride I felt at his referral to me as a man and not a boy.

"One more thing, Jasper," Dad added, giving me quite the foreboding look now. "You are not to influence our emotions at any point, no matter what you feel. Also, I understand how difficult this will be for you, but you are not to yell or curse at me. If you break any of these rules, once Alice's punishment is over it will be you going over my knees next, understood?"

"Yes sir, I understand," I assured him, and he smiled once more before standing up and making his way over towards my Alice.

I stifled a loud groan as I not only saw her worried expression, but as I also felt her emotions. Dad gestured for her to sit on the couch, and he sat down next to her. I listened intently to what they were saying, doing the best I could to keep myself in control. I was surprised by their discussion, both at how badly my little southern belle had messed up, and how she went back and forth from anger to contriteness. Oh Alice, I thought sadly, you sure landed yerself in a heap o' trouble, so quit antagonizing Dad. I really wanted to send her a healthy dose of remorse, but I remembered the warning I'd been given. Besides, it wouldn't have been right to have forced such an emotion on my beloved.

I was really beginning to worry 'bout Alice's attitude when I suddenly saw all the defiance leave her. Guilt and remorse was quickly replacing the anger, and I had to fight back the urge to go and comfort her. She needed to feel these emotions. I couldn't take them from her because then what would she learn? She had messed up, and unfortunately the logical side of my mind knew she had more than earned this punishment. I imagined myself in her position, and knew that if I had done what she had that I would have felt that I'd more than deserved this coming spanking. In fact, I would probably have requested another, but Alice wouldn't need another. She wasn't one to hold onto guilt like I did, but that didn't mean she didn't need help dealing with it…like right now, for example.

I crossed my arms on the desk, leaned my head down on them and watched. My right leg was bouncing up and down in nervous tension as I felt the time come for her spanking. Her nerves were getting to me, and I could feel an all too familiar flutter in the stomach. It'll be alright, I thought, wishing beyond might that I could speak or send her a little comfort.

I watched as my beloved lowered her pants with shaky hands, watched as she bent over our father's lap, and watched as he quickly lowered her underwear. I jerked in my seat at that sight, my chest rumbling with a barely repressed growl. How dare he unclothe my mate, the vampire in me snarled hatefully. My teeth were gnashing together and I was about to let out a snarl of outrage when Alice turned pleading eyes to me. Don't do this, her eyes told me. I'm alright, they spoke.

I was breathing heavily now, the effort of fighting back the urge to come to her rescue nearly overwhelming me. Good God, I couldn't help but think. The spanking hasn't even started and I'm already losin' it. When I eventually sat down I became quite shocked at feelin' a good dose of pride coming from not only Alice, but my father as well.

"You're doing just fine, Jasper," Dad said, giving me an encouraging look before returning his attention to Alice. I was a bit stunned by his words, wondering if he realized how close I had come to attacking him. These thoughts were blown from my mind though as the first smack landed. Both Alice and I jumped, letting out gasps. I watched with great difficulty as Dad continuously brought his hand down on my poor mate, wincing and cringing as I not only felt her emotional pain, but saw and heard her physical pain.

Now, this wasn't the first time I'd seen my dad spank someone else. One time when my brothers and I got into an awful fight with each other Dad made us watch each other getting our bare butts walloped as a way to show us how our actions affected not only ourselves but others as well. It had been a difficult experience watching my brothers struggle to remain stoic and silent before being rendered into sobbing messes. This time was so much worse though, and not only because Alice was my mate. She didn't try to hold her pain in like my brothers or I would. She didn't feel the need to be stoic and hold out as long as possible. She let her pain and sorrow show so easily with every cry and shout and with every jolt of her body and kick of her legs. I felt her pain, and I had to use every bit of my will power to keep from rushing to her aid. Surely she had been punished enough already? I could clearly feel her remorse, so surely Dad didn't need to continue this.

Alice was sobbing now, yelling out sincere apologies as she desperately tried to evade our father's hand. That is enough I thought furiously. He is going way too far. I stood up, teeth bared and muscles tensing as I prepared to interfere. I tore my gaze away from my wife and focused on my father's, fully prepared to give him a threatening growl until I got a look at his face. With the way my thoughts had been going I'd been prepared to see satisfaction, enjoyment, or determination at the very least, but I saw none of those emotions on his face. He looked like he was in pain. He looked like he was suffering.

I used my gift and focused now on his emotions and immediately had to sink back down into the chair as they nearly crippled me. How was he managing? How could he go through this with the emotions he was feeling? His sadness alone made me want to start bawling, but there was also guilt and even fear. I couldn't understand it. I'd been spanked plenty of times by this man and not felt his emotions this strongly. I knew he was capable of hiding some of his emotions, but still…Did he endure this agony every time he spanked one of us?

I focused intently on my father now, surprised when his eyes flicked briefly to mine. There was concern and a questioning look and I quickly realized that I'd allowed my shock and worry to permeate throughout the room. He had obviously felt it and was worried about me. I gave my father a shake of my head and a reassuring look to let him know I was fine.

It was another agonizing minute as I contemplated Dad's emotions and watched my mate suffer before this terrible ordeal ended. I all too clearly felt all our relief, and once more had to fight to stay in my seat instead of rushing to comfort Alice. Dad needed this moment, I could tell not just by his emotions, but by the quick look he sent me as though asking if I would please allow him this. I sent a single nod and he promptly righted Alice's clothes and lifted her up. She immediately latched herself onto him, burying her head into his chest and crying out all the guilt and sorrow she'd been feeling. I didn't realize until I heard the dropping of moisture onto my father's desk that I was crying. Silent tears had been streaming down my face for who knows how long.

I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling miserable and useless and guilty. I'd been a second away from attacking my own father, my own father who I could feel absolutely loathed himself for what he had just done. My father who was currently praising and comforting my distraught mate, offering her loving words and reassurances as she clung to him. How could I ever have doubted him? How could I ever have thought he would harm Alice? I was a wretched, ungrateful, ignorant son.

"Jasper," Dad called out, and I turned reluctant eyes to him. I didn't deserve to even look at him after what I'd been considering. "Come here," he said, holding an arm out to me.

I rapidly shook my head no, biting down on my fist to keep back a sob from breaking out. I felt and saw his concern as he looked at me. I didn't deserve his concern. He shouldn't be concerned with me at all.

"Jasper, please, come here," Dad requested again, but I stubbornly shook my head at him, putting my head down onto my arms in a ridiculous effort to shut them out. Dad didn't call my name again, he just continued to comfort Alice. It didn't take much longer, thankfully, for her to stop crying. I listened to her and Dad talk, Dad once more reassuring Alice that she was forgiven and loved. I relaxed somewhat at feeling the relief and joy from my wife. She was fine, perfectly fine and content in our father's arms. How in the hell could I have ever thought she wouldn't?

I became so absorbed in my thoughts and my self-pity that I failed to notice my mother's arrival. I failed to notice her look of deep concern or her conversation with Carlisle. I failed to notice as Alice reluctantly left with our mother and left my father and me alone. What I didn't fail to notice, however, was the hand that began to softly caress my hair. By the feel alone I knew that it was my dad, so it was with great hesitancy that I lifted my head up to look at him. He was crouched down on the other side of his desk, giving me a concerned look as he removed his hand from my head.

"Want to talk about it?" he questioned softly, no judgment in his eyes whatsoever. I thought about it for a moment before nodding my head.

"Can we talk outside though?" I asked, already beginning to feel cooped up in here.

"The roof?" Dad suggested with a slight smile, and I briefly returned it as I nodded my head in agreement.

"Try not to fall off this time," Dad remarked in good humor, "because I don't fancy getting the hose again."

I couldn't help but give a chuckle at his words, responding, "Fall off? If I recall correctly, you pushed me."

"Nonsense, I would never do such a thing," he quipped as he stepped out onto his balcony. He began to make his way up as I rolled my eyes and muttered, "Well let's hope _you_ don't accidentally fall off this time."

Dad turned his head to give me a mock glare before resuming his climb. "Impertinent youth these days," he grumbled to himself, but I knew he wasn't upset at all. He was actually feeling quite amused and relieved. I wasn't sure why he was relieved, but I was sure I'd find out. I was just glad he didn't seem angry with me, and that he wanted to talk to me.

**Carlisle's POV:**

I gingerly settled myself down on the hard rooftop, my poor backside feeling quite sore. I hadn't quite recovered fully from my chastisement, and all the sitting I'd been doing today had just seemed to aggravate my, um, wound.

I looked over at my soldier who was sitting with his knees up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them. He was resting his head on his knees, his eyes closed as he inhaled deeply. I too took in a deep breath, finding the scents of the forest to be rather soothing. Another thing Jasper and I had in common besides our tendency to hold on to guilt was how calming we found nature to be. We couldn't go even a single day without getting out and feeling the wind in our hair and if we were lucky the sun in our faces.

Studying my son I was happy to see a semi-peaceful expression settle on his face before he looked over at me. His eyes immediately lowered down, and I wondered what he was thinking. Something had happened while I had been punishing Alice that had first stunned him and then caused him to become concerned. I had kept a close eye on him whilst I had been punishing his mate, and noted how close he came a couple times to interfering. The last time I had been about to lift my head and offer him an encouraging word, but I hadn't needed to for he had stopped himself.

I was proud of my boy as he'd proved me right. I thought for sure Jasper would have felt the same towards himself, but he actually seemed guilty about something. I had seen the self-hatred in his eyes and wondered what could possibly have happened to have triggered it. When I had called him over after Alice's spanking had ended, and he hadn't come I became even more concerned. Something was seriously wrong with my son, and I couldn't help but blame myself. I had put him in this horrible position, and I really wasn't sure if it had done the job I hoped it would. I had expected Jasper to be upset or even angry with me, but not with himself.

"Papa," Jasper suddenly spoke in a quiet voice, finally looking up at me, "I owe you an apology."

"For what?" I asked, not comprehending what he could have done that warranted an apology.

He too seemed confused now as he gazed back at me, obviously not understanding my confusion.

"Maybe you didn't notice," he said skeptically, "but I nearly attacked you a couple times in there."

"I noticed," I responded, still wondering what he was apologizing for. When he continued to just stare at me, I all of a sudden understood. Oh Jazz, I couldn't help but think, only you would be fretting so much over something so trivial. What I saw as a triumph, he saw as a failure.

"Jasper, you have nothing to apologize for," I began, giving him an earnest look. "You didn't attack me, you didn't even growl at me. All you did was glare, and compared to just a week ago, I see that as a huge success. You should be proud of yourself son, I certainly am."

My son was frowning now, seemingly taken aback by the fact that I felt pride in his actions. "But I wanted to attack you," he protested, and I just raised an eyebrow as I asked, "But did you?"

"No," he responded, "but it wasn't because I didn't want to."

Now it was my turn to frown as I didn't quite understand what he was saying. "What do you mean? Why did you stop then if you didn't want to?"

Jasper was biting his lip now, looking quite unsure with himself. He didn't seem to understand why I wasn't angry with him. "Because of you," he blurted out, and I felt my confusion mount.

"You didn't attack me because of me?" I asked slowly, making sure that I was understanding him correctly. He gave me a single nod, but I was lost.

"Son, you are going to have to give a little more information because I'm obviously failing to understand. How did I manage to stop you from attacking me without even realizing it?" I pressed, and he let out a frustrated sigh as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Your emotions," he muttered, giving me a glance before looking down at his hands. "I felt them…I felt _all_ of them."

It took me a second to understand what he was getting at, but when I did I tensed, letting out a sigh. Damn, damn, damn! How could I have slipped like that, I chastised myself. Any time I punished Jasper or knew he was going to be in the room when I punished one or more of his siblings I did the best I could to reign in my emotions, only letting him feel the bare minimum because I knew he'd only beat himself up if he knew how much spanking him hurt me. With Alice, I never had to, so I had idiotically not bothered, forgetting that my empath was sitting but a few feet away. How could I have let this happen?

"Jasper," I began, giving him a regretful look, but before I could say anything more he gave me a miserable look as he asked, "Is it always like that? Do you feel that every time you give us a lickin'?"

I really wanted to shout, 'no, of course not', but I made a habit of not lying to my kids, and I wasn't about to break it now; so, letting out another sigh I looked my soldier in the eye as I responded with an honest, "Yes and no. It always hurts me to punish you guys, but this time was worse because I knew the emotional anguish I was causing you. Watching your mate suffer and knowing there is nothing you can do to stop it is unbearable, and I subjected you to that."

I cringed at the look of guilt and pain in my boy's eyes. This was why I never wanted them to know. This is why I always hid my emotions from the kids. They didn't need to know how much physically chastising them affected me.

"How do you do it, Papa?" Jasper asked, moving closer to me. "How can you go through that kind of torment time and time again? Jeez, I was fit to be tied in there when I felt yer emotions. I wanted to start bawling and I wanted to be ripped apart. Nobody should hafta feel like that, Papa, no one. I am so sorry for every time I've forced ya into that position, and I promise you right now that I ain't eva gonna give you a speck o' trouble, you have my word."

"Jasper, stop," I said, holding up my hand to keep him from making any more ridiculous promises. "Soldier, I've told all of you kids before that I detest causing you any pain, and I wasn't lying."

"Yes, but I had no idea you felt so, so"—

"I know, and I never wanted you to know," I admitted, "because I knew you'd react like this. Spanking you guys kills me, it does, but I do it for a very good reason. I need to keep you and your rambunctious mate and siblings in line and this is my best method. You guys are eternal teenagers, bound to get into trouble no matter how many years you have under your belt. By spanking you, however hard it is on me, I know that I am working to prevent something more catastrophic and damaging down the line. You know this, right?" I questioned.

"Well, yes," he agreed reluctantly, and before he could come up with another argument I began to speak once more.

"Spanking you hurts me terribly, but the thought of what could happen if I didn't correct your misbehavior, or the thought of letting you all suffer with guilt hurts me more. Let me ask you something," I said, "did you bother to focus on my feelings as I was comforting Alice?"

He furrowed his brow slightly before shaking his head negatively. I'd thought not. He'd been too lost in his own world of self-loathing thoughts by then.

"Well, if you had," I informed him, "then you would have felt how much just holding her in my arms was able to soothe away my pain. Being able to offer you guys comfort and reassurances after I discipline you is all the help I need to forgive myself for the temporary pain I've caused you. You must have realized this as you allowed me to comfort Alice," I reminded him. "I looked to you for permission, figuring you'd want to snatch her away from me by that point, and you just nodded your head."

Jasper bit his lip before saying, "You're right. I knew that you needed that moment with Alice as much as she needed it with you. But I just—I'm so darn sorry, Papa, for the pain you experience. It ain't fair that you gotta suffer so much when it's us idiots that have landed ourselves in that position."

I wrapped an arm around his shoulders, bringing him closer to me as I responded, "It's not fair, but it's part of what being a parent is all about. Being a father isn't easy, but it's not something I've ever regretted becoming."

"Even with all the shit we—that _I_ put you through?" he questioned, leaning into me. I tightened my grip as I replied, "Even with all the _antics_ you, Alice, and your siblings put me through."

"Oh," Jasper mumbled, looking down for a few minutes before calling out, "Dad?"

"Yes?" I responded.

"I'm sorry about how I've treated you and Mom every time you've punished Alice," he spoke with much regret. "I can't help but feel like the worst son ever for the lack of trust I had in you. I hope you'll be able to forgive me some"—

"Hush," I told him firmly, giving him a stern look. "You've already been forgiven, and you are not the worst son ever. You need to stop thinking so negatively of yourself, Jasper. You are a brilliant, caring, courageous young man who I am honored to call my son. Please desist putting yourself down before I decide to wash out that filthy mouth of yours," I warned. He gave me a wide-eyed stared, no doubt touched by my praise before nodding his head.

"Yes sir," he responded like a good soldier, "I'll do my best."

"That's all I ever ask," I said, ruffling his hair affectionately.

"Dad," Jasper called out quietly after several more minutes of comfortable silence.

"Yes?" I responded once more.

"Don't eva change, okay? You are the best dad ever, so don't eva doubt yerself," he declared, giving me an emphatic look.

I stared at him, extremely touched by his words as I nodded my head. "Okay," I told him, "you have my word." I knew I was a good dad, but hearing my son say it made it so much more real. So many times I doubted the decisions I made regarding these kids, but moments like these made me see that I was doing a pretty damn good job.

"I'll hold you to that promise, Papa," Jasper stated with a smirk, "and if you eva think of breakin' it I'll set my dear mama on ya."

"Now that's just cruel," I said, and he laughed, giving me a light shove. "She came down pretty hard on ya, didn't she?"

"Just a bit," I said, unable to keep myself from grimacing at the memory.

"Worse than the last time?" he then asked, and I looked at his face to see why he wanted to know. When I saw nothing but genuine curiosity and concern I decided to answer with a nod.

He gave a sympathetic groan as he nodded his head, "I figured she had seein' as yer still so sore. You recovered faster last time."

"I did," I remarked quietly, and my son gave me a nudge so that I would look at him.

"You don't hafta feel embarrassed about this," he said seriously. "You know none of us are gonna ever hold this against you. I know we can all be rather immature and just plain dumb at times, but we are mature enough to understand and truly appreciate the lengths you'll go to in order to betta yerself. I've experienced first-hand Mama's displeasure and I know it ain't no picnic. You got it much worse than I ever have, so all I got to say is you are one brave son of a gun to actually ask for something like that."

I was once more sincerely touched by my son's thoughtful words, and I let him know how much I appreciated him through my emotions as I was feeling a little too choked up to speak. "Thank you, Jasper," I eventually managed to say, my voice hoarse from the emotion I was holding back.

Jasper just responded with a smile and nod before leaning his head on my shoulder. I relished in the physical contact with my son. He didn't often allow himself to be held like this, usually only when he was really upset. I had a strong feeling that while the events of these past few months had been incredibly difficult, that we would emerge stronger because of them. Our family would survive and we would come out for the better. We always did.

**Alice's POV:**

I was in my parent's room, lying face down on their couch as I watched Mom sketch out the blue prints for a new house. I'd had a vision of Dad and Jasper's conversation so neither one of us was worried. Their talk would be beneficial for the both of them.

I let out a sigh, reaching a hand back to try and relieve some of the sting. Dad hadn't gone easy on me, that was for sure, and unfortunately I knew I had no one to blame but myself. I hadn't been able to stop myself from growing angry once more as we discussed Cassie and what I'd done to her. I felt real shame and regret now for my actions, Dad finally having made me see reason. I understood now how childish and dangerous my actions had been. Yesiree, I didn't like it one bit, but I had certainly deserved every single one of those stinging swats he gave me. I was just glad that he hadn't decided to use his belt after I had gotten a little mouthy with him.

"Are you really sore, sweetheart?" I heard my mother ask, and I gave her an abashed smile as I nodded my head.

She made a sympathetic noise as she came over and knelt down by my head. "I deserved it," I informed her, wanting her to know that I had accepted the consequences for my actions and that Dad hadn't been too hard on me. "I acted like a complete fool last week, and we were lucky nothing worse happened."

Mom smoothed my hair comfortingly as she nodded her head. "I'm so proud of you for admitting your faults, but you know you're forgiven now, right?"

"Yeah," I replied, "but somehow that hasn't stopped my poor bum from feeling like it's on fire. Daddy sure wasn't shy about letting me feel his displeasure with me."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Alice," Mom spoke, looking quite upset. "I wish there was something I could do to make this easier for you, but"—

"I know, Mommy," I interrupted, grabbing one of her hands in mine, "and you don't need to apologize. I have no one to blame but myself for this awful predicament. I'll be fine in a few days, so no worries. Besides, at least this wasn't as bad as last week's spanking."

Mom gave me a sad smile as she kissed my forehead.

"I'm just glad this is all over with," I continued, giving her a relieved look. "Waiting for this spanking was almost as bad as the spanking itself. Now we can move on."

"Exactly," Mom responded, "and Emmett and Rosalie will be here soon, and it hopefully won't take too long before Edward is found."

I nodded my head, although I wasn't so sure about the Edward part. I wasn't going to burst my mother's bubble though. "Can we go back to Forks, Mom? I miss Bella." I told her.

"Me too," my mother responded, her eyes turning pained, "but we'll have to see. We'll at least have to wait until Edwards back before making that decision."

"Bella is his mate, Mom," I informed her confidently. "I still have visions of her becoming one of us."

Mom gave me a surprised look before a genuine smile broke out on her face. "If it is meant to be, then it will come to pass," Mom said, caressing my cheek softly.

"Can I at least go visit her?" I pressed, not at all liking the thought of having to wait for Edward to grow a brain so I could see Bella once more.

"No Alice," she said with a firm shake of her head. "We don't want to disrupt her life now and give her false hope if Edward decides to not return."

"But he will return, I've seen it," I argued, sitting myself up with my elbows.

"Alice," Mother chided softly, "you know better than anyone how subjective your visions are."

"I do, but his is one vision that's never changed, Mommy, it's been the same since Edward met her," I argued, feeling upset that she didn't seem to believe me. Either that or she didn't want to get her hopes up.

"Enough," Mom said, gently forcing me to lay down once more, "we will discuss this at another time. For now you are to just lie here and relax until Jasper comes looking for you."

I sighed, but did as I was told. Mom gave me one more kiss on the forehead before returning to her drawings. I watched her, feeling rather content and peaceful. I probably would have drifted off to sleep if it weren't for the constant throbbing of my poor bottom.

I smiled brightly when I heard the approach of Jasper and Dad. They were exchanging playful shoves as they landed on the balcony and opened the door. Jumping to my feet I rushed into my mate's strong arms, giving him an adoring kiss of greeting.

"Hello to you too, Beautiful," Jasper drawled when we broke apart, giving me a handsome grin. I had to fight the sudden urge to kiss him again as we were in our parent's bedroom. Looking into his eyes, I knew he felt the same sudden need I did, and I decided it was time for us to depart. Reluctantly breaking apart from him I threw my arms around my Dad, giving him a big hug before gently bringing up the wrist I'd injured and kissing it. This was a new habit I'd gotten into as a way to constantly show my remorse for what I'd done and my love for my father. Next I rushed over to Mom and enveloped her in a huge hug, thanking her for being the best mom ever.

"Mom, Dad, Jasper and I really need to hunt…_alone_, so love you loads, bye!" I chirped before pulling my bemused lover back towards the balcony. We were landing on the ground and headed towards the forest when I heard Dad call out, "Don't get too dirty and rough with my little girl, Jasper!"

_"Carlisle Cullen_!" I heard my mother shriek in outrage, followed by a smacking sound. Jasper had been roaring with laughter already, but when we heard our father emit a loud yelp I nearly had to carry him into the forest he was laughing so hard. Boys, I couldn't help but think to myself with a roll of my eyes.

"Come on Jasper," I spoke seductively into his ear, "why don't you show me just how dirty you like it?" And with those words I promptly raced deeper into the forest, my mate all too eagerly following behind. Things were finally beginning to look up for this family. We were all at peace, eagerly anticipating the entire family being back together again.

**A/N:** We have reached the end to Past and Present! Hurray and Awww!

Thanks for reading and PLEASE REVIEW!


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